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作       者:Sones, Sonya

出  版  社:HarperCollins e-books

出版时间:2011-04-05

字       数:34.7万

所属分类: 进口书 > 外文原版书 > 小说

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My name is Holly.This story is about me—a writer who's way behindon her deadline.But, honestly,how can I concentrate on my work when my fiftieth birthday's rushing at me like a freight train,my hormones are making me feel like a Szechuan flambé, and my eighty-year-old mother's biting her nursesNot to mention the fact that my daughter's just begun applying to colleges (none of which are within a thousand-mile radius of home),and lately my husband's been such an irritating, finger-pointing stinker that I've found myself dreaming of ways to spend his insurance money . . .My name is Holly.This book tells my story—a coming-of-middle-age story.
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Cover

Title Page

Dedication

The Poet’s Disclaimer

Contents

Skidmarks

What I Learn from Cosmo While Waiting to See the Doctor

Ultrasound

Michael and I Don’t Want Any More Children

But Now–I’ll Never be Pregnant Again

Bad Timing

The Phone Rings–Snapping Me Back to the Present

As Soon As I Hang Up the Phone, It Rings Again

When I Get Home from the Beach

But Don’t Get Me Wrong

Then Suddenly–The Doorbell’s Ringing

Alice and I Drain the Bottle

When Michael Returns Home with Samantha

Half an Hour Later

When Wendy and Tess Come to Pick Up Sam

When Michael Returns from Driving Alice Home

When Sam Gets Home from Studying at Laura’s

Happy Birthday to Me

What I Am

Hmmmlet…

Thanksgiving

Cousin Alice Arrives for Thanksgiving Dinner

Though I Have to Admit

The True Meaning of Wistful

I Consider Myself a Pretty Darn Good Speller

Christmas in Cleveland

I Glance Over at My Mother

New Year’s Resolution

Which Is More Than I Can Say About Myself These Days

But What I Really Can’t Figure Out

Time Flies

Crying Jags

Because

What I Finally Figure Out is This

When Michael Returns from the Frame Shop

Moments Later

My Mother Has Been Admitted to the Hospital

I Hang Up and Call My Mother

The Kind of Girl Samantha Is

And When She Finally Finishes Baking

And Suddenly, A Memory Washes Over Me

April Fool’s Day

Our Baby’s Been in There for Ten Minutes

When Sam Finally Emerges

My Floodgates are Getting Ready to Burst

Writus Interruptus

I Mean, for Cryin’ Out Loud

Then, of Course, Things Spiraled Out of Control

After an Argument with Hubby

Is It a Bad Sign?

When I Finally Run Out of Old Boyfriends

I Don’t Answer My Daughter’s Rhetorical Question

Shift Happens

The Leaning Tower of Me

Chamber of Horrors

A Brief History of My Boobs

On the Way Out of Neiman’s

Cousin Alice Calls

Dr. Hack Finally Gets on the Line

I Tell Dr. Hack That Someone’s at the Door

But…

But Roxie’s Call Has Freaked Me Out

Even My Hair is Fifty…

My Knees are Fifty, Too

For Chrissake–

Maybe This is How It Will Happen

Is This How It Was For You?

How Do U No When Ur Old?

So I’m Feeling a Little Sad Today

Kitchen Quarrel

But I Shudder to Think About Next Year

Where I Get My Ideas

And Speaking of Blood

But That’s Not How I Described It to My Daughter

It Can’t Be PMS

Rude Awakening

Is It a Bad Sign?

To the One-Pound Bag of Oreos I Just Bought

I am Not Addicted to Email

Pepto Abysmal

Saturday Morning

Later On, Back at the Helliday Inn

Damn!

I Hang Up and Punch in Michael’s Number

On Sunday Morning

Why Don’t I Ask Him This?

But, Really

In the Taxi on the Way Home from the Airport

It’s Past Midnight When I Finally Get Home

The Next Day

After Alice Leaves

On the Way to the Farmers’ Market

Is It a Bad Sign?

When I’m Writing a Poem

When I’m Writing a Poem

I am Tired of Being a Poet

And Come to Think of It

And You Know What

Every Time My Mother Calls

When I Get Like This

Though, Let’s Face It

Anyone Could Have Moved into That House

Actually

I’m In a Huge Hurry

Michael Doesn’t Notice Me Coming

So I Ask Him for My Scissors, Instead

Our Pepper Tree is Failing Fast

On Mother’s Day

I Ask Dr. Hack About My Mother’s Memory Loss

In Praise of Popcorn

I Wish My Mother Were Doing Better

The Last Time

A Few Minutes Later

Before Prom

Hold On–Back Up a Couple of Stanzas!

Just Kidding

A Sentimental Silence Drifts Down Over Us

Oh, Well

A Few Days After Prom

Graduation Day Snapshot

Another Call from My Mother

I Pull Myself Together

But I Call Alice, Just to Make Sure

Weekend Update

Is It a Bad Sign?

Limbo Daze

I’ve Been Out All Morning Buying Presents for My Mother

So I Stomp Out of My Office

Omigod!

My Hand Creeps Out

Suddenly

Samantha Says She’s Craving an Omelet

Sam Hands Me a Stick of Butter

Two Mindless Hours, Three New Bras, Four New T-Shirts, and Five New Sweaters Later

Samantha Notices, Too

Enough is Enough

Here is What the Email Says

Michael’s Not Buying Art Supplies!

I Turn to Run Out the Door

At Which Point

Later

That Evening

It is Dr. Hack!

The Three of Us Do the “Happy Benign Mass” Dance

My Mother is Not a Married Woman

Is It a Bad Sign?

Trying to Reserve the Flight That Will Take Samantha to College

A Few Weeks Before Samantha Leaves for College

Trashed

In Just a Few More Days

But How Can That be Possible?

Samantha Was an Incredible Baby

And Michael Was Grateful, Too

One Day

I’m Cleaning Out Samantha’s Closet

I Close the Lid On the Box

A No-Brainer

Aftermath

I Close the Door Behind Them

Remembering the Day Samantha Learned to Ride

I Take a Few Deep Breaths

When My Mother Hears My Voice

I Just Weighed Myself

And I’ll Cry If I Want To

The Night Before Samantha Leaves

Alice Drove Us to the Airport at Noon

We’re the First to Arrive at Her Dorm

Everyone’s Unpacking

Making Up Her Bed

An Old Friend

The Unpacking is Done

After We Kiss Samantha Goodnight

Is It a Bad Sign?

In the Morning

When I Hug My Daughter Good-Bye

I Will Miss Her

The Captain Has Turned on the Seat Belt Sign

The Taxi Drops Us Off in front of Our House

Our Pepper Tree is Dead

Samantha’s Room

At the Grocery Store

So I’m Feeling a Little Sad Today

The Phone Rings

We Say Good-Bye to Samantha and Hang Up

The Mothers of Daughters Who Have Gone Off to College

Michael Says We Need to Have Some Fun Together

At Spumoni’s

The Next Morning

How Does It Happen

I Head to the Bedroom to Lie Down

A Minute Later

I’m Still in Mid-Weep When Alice Calls

The Phone Rings Again

Stopping to Admire a Baby at the Cleaners

And Speaking of My Mother…

I’m Really Not in the Mood to Go Out

On a Bad Day

It’s Strange…

A Match.Com Made in Heaven

Double Date

What to Expect When Your Husband Goes into Therapy

I Want a New Husband

I Want a New Husband

I Want a New Husband

Firewood

Our Backyard Looks So Barren Now

Then–Pinkie Starts Yapping

Another Call from Samantha

A Chat with Dr. Hack

United Flight #3534

The Visit

My Mother Finally Nods Off

That’s the Bad News

I’m Blushing in Places I’ve Never Blushed Before

I Have Got to Get a Grip

Griffin Presses the Button for the Fifth Floor

I Feel As If I’m in a Dream

I Gasp and Stifle a Scream

“Someone” is a Lot Claustrophobic!

And As Soon As I Hear It

So…

And That’s When I Notice It

Griffin’s Silhouette Glides Closer

But Then

The Lights Flicker Back On!

The Really Good News

Before I Can Answer Her Question

Dr. Gold Invites Me to His Office to Talk

All That Glitters is Dr. Gold

After My Mother’s Examination

Hospital Waiting Room Haiku

Aftershocks

My Mother Takes a Nap

The Sun Paints the Parking Lot Pink

The Next Morning

I Step Outside to Take the Call

As Soon As We Say Good-Bye

Turbulence

Isn’t It Strange?

I Splash Some Cold Water on My Face

When I Return to the Hospital

Time Does Not Fly When You are Waiting for Test Results

I’ve Never Been Much Good at Waiting

Thank God!

For the Next Few Days

Marriage is a Fire

You Know What I Love About Michael?

On a Good Day

Michael and I Go Over to Meet the New Baby

Sam’s Taking a Class Called Positive Psychology

I Don’t Feel Like Going to the Party

And That’s When It Dawns On Me

Safe and Sound?

Today, When I Call

During the Hell That Freezes Over

I’ve Been Working Day and Night

It Happens for the Zillionth Time On the Eve of My Fifty-First Birthday

I Shove Open the French Doors

On My Birthday

Later On

Culture Shock

Aw, Come On

In the Mail

Is It a Good Sign?

Nostalgia

What I Am Going to Do

Spanx?

It’s a Perfect California Fall Day

I Clear My Throat

A Week Later–Roxie Calls

By the Fire

A Recipe for Butterscotch Brownies

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Other Books by Sonya Sones

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

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