The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition电子书

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

Part One

How to Use The Grief Recovery Handbook

Chapter 1

Grief and Recovery

Staying Open to Grief

Grief Recovery: How Does It Work?

An Incomplete Past May Doom the Future

Chapter 2

Confusion About Stages

What About Anger?

Common Responses

Getting Over or Getting Complete

When Is It Time to Begin to Recover?

Suicide, Murder, AIDS, and Other Tragic Circumstances

The “G” Word

Survivor: Another Inaccurate Word

There Is Nothing Wrong with You

Chapter 3

We’re Taught How to Acquire Things, Not What to Do When We Lose Them

We’re Taught Myths About Dealing with Grief

Participating in Your Own Recovery

Loss of Trust

Practice Makes Habits

Chapter 4

They Don’t Know What to Say

They’re Afraid of Our Feelings

They Try to Change the Subject

They Intellectualize

They Don’t Hear Us

They Don’t Want to Talk About Death

Professional Distortions

They Want Us to Keep Our Faith

Chapter 5

Enshrine or Bedevil?

We Want the Approval of Others

“I’m Fine” Is Often a Lie

We Begin to Experience a Massive Loss of Energy

We Experience a Loss of Aliveness

Part Two

Chapter 6

Who Is Responsible?

Your Second Choice: Partnership or Working Alone

Finding a Partner

Chapter 7

Initial Partners Meeting

Making Commitments

First Homework Assignment

Review Thoughts and Reminders

Second Partners Meeting

Chapter 8

Short-Term Relief Doesn’t Work

Identifying Your Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors

Second Homework Assignment

Third Partners Meeting

Chapter 9

Compare and Minimize

Loss History Graph Examples

What Goes on the Loss History Graph

Third Homework Assignment: Preparing Your Loss History Graph

Time and Intensity

Learning from Your Loss History Graph

Fourth Partners Meeting

Part Three

Chapter 10

How to Identify What Is Incomplete

Choosing a Loss to Complete

More Help Choosing the First Loss to Work On and Questions about Other Losses

Chapter 11

The Relationship Graph Is Different from the Loss History Graph

Completing Is Not Forgetting

Accurate Memory Pictures: Your Part

Truth Is the Key to Recovery

Even Long Illnesses End in Unfinished Business

Hopes, Dreams, and Expectations

The Relationship Graph

Fourth Homework Assignment: Making Your Relationship Graph

Dawn of Memory—the Death of an Infant

Fifth Partners Meeting

Chapter 12

Apologies

Victims Have Difficulty with Apologies

Forgiveness

Significant Emotional Statements

Fifth Homework Assignment: Putting It All Together

Sixth Partners Meeting

Moving from Discovery to Completion

Final Homework Assignment: The Grief Recovery Completion Letter©

Important Note

Final Partners Meeting: Reading Your Letter

What Does Completion Mean?

Stuck on a Painful Image

What About New Discoveries? Cole’s Window Story

More Help with Relationship Graphs and Completion Letters

Chapter 13

Cleanup Work

Part Four

Chapter 14

Start with Relationships You Remember

Other First Choice Concerns: Hidden or Disguised Choices

Chapter 15

Death or Absence of Parent from an Early Age

Infant Loss and Infertility

Alzheimer’s—Dementia

Growing Up in an Alcoholic or Otherwise Dysfunctional Home

Unique Loss Graphing Situations: Faith, Career, Health, Moving

Moving

Miscellaneous Tips

The Final Word

The Grief Recovery Institute: Services and Programs

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Books by John W. James

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher