How to Talk So People Listen电子书

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Hello. I’m Sonya Hamlin.

1 ENTER TECHNOLOGY, EXIT TALKING

WHAT’S NEW IN COMMUNICATING

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FIRST

WHAT’S NEW IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

EVEN HELLO HAS CHANGED

THE BIGGEST ISSUE

Where Do People Skills Now Fit

What We Need to Know Now

HOW COMMUNICATING HAS CHANGED

THE COMMUNICATION REVOLUTIONS

HOW IT USED TO BE

THE NEW TECHNIQUES OF TELLING

TELEVISION

How Television Has Changed Us

WHAT TELEVISION NEWS HAS TAUGHT US

In Defense of Television

COMPUTERS AND THE INTERNET

MAJOR EFFECTS ON COMMUNICATING

WRAP-UP: HOW COMMUNICATING HAS CHANGED

IMPLICATIONS FOR BUSINESS COMMUNICATION

WHAT ELSE CAN AFFECT YOUR AUDIENCE

2 GENERATION GAPS AND DIVERSITY IN TODAY’S WORKPLACE

HOW ARE BOOMERS, GEN XERS, AND GEN YERS DIFFERENT?

THE ISSUES

DIFFERENCES IN FAMILY AND LIFE EXPERIENCES

DIFFERENT VIEWS OF THE ESTABLISHMENT

CULTURAL ICONS TELL IT

BASIC DIFFERENCES IN PRIORITIES AND ATTITUDE

CAREERS AND WORK

THE GENERATIONS AT WORK

GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES IN GETTING INFORMATION

PERCEPTION OF TIME Boomers

THOUGHTS ABOUT INFORMATION TECHNOLOGIES

WHAT ALL THIS MEANS TO YOU

OUR MULTICULTURAL WORKFORCE AND COMMUNICATING NOW

THE MIXED-POPULATION PHENOMENON

BECOMING AMERICANIZED

WHAT IMMIGRANTS BRING: ISSUES AND OBSTACLES

HANDLING ALL THIS AT WORK

TRANSCENDING LANGUAGE BARRIERS

3 HOW TO GET ANYONE TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING

GETTING ATTENTION IS HARD

The Me-First Factor

WHAT MAKES PEOPLE LISTEN

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

How to Find Anyone Else’s Self-Interest

Knowing Your Audience at Work

WHO’S TELLING?

What Appeals to Listeners and Why

What Doesn’t Appeal and Why

How Do Audiences Decide About You?

HOW DO YOU TELL IT

The Techniques of Telling

Make It Visual

How Making Ideas Visual Works

VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

HOW THEY WORK; WHAT THEY DO

WORDS VS. BODY LANGUAGE

CHOOSING YOUR WORDS

HOW PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT LEARNING

HANDLING RESISTANCE AND FEAR OF LEARNING

SUMMING UP

4 THE PRE-THINK CHART:: STRATEGIZING ONE-ON-ONE: ENCOUNTERS

PRE-THINKING

A TYPICAL WORK ENCOUNTER: WHAT CAN GO WRONG AND WHY

To Strategize Any Encounter and Get What You Want

THE PRE-THINK CHART

THE BASIC IDEA

Why a Chart?

THE PROCESS

SECTION ONE: GOALS

Where We Get Stuck

How the Chart Changes Things

SECTION TWO: EMOTIONS

Emotions: The Other Powerful, Hidden Drivers

Emotions at Work

Hiding Our Feelings on the Job

Winning Strategies Can’t Bypass Emotions

Generational Differences

SECTION THREE: EXPECTATIONS

Analyzing Expectations Prepares and Demystifies

Surprise: The Secret Weapon

EXPECTATIONS: THE OTHER SIDE

THE OTHER SIDE: A GUIDE FOR THE SUMMONED

DON’T BE A VICTIM

OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO

Be Honest!

Use a Touch of Humor

SUMMARY FOR THE SUMMONED

THE COMPLETED CHART

PRE-THINKING RESULTS

Seeing the Other Side Is Very Humanizing

MAKE YOUR OWN CHART

ANALYZE A PAST OR FUTURE ENCOUNTER OF YOUR OWN

USER TIPS FOR YOUR PRE-THINK CHART

Completing Your Chart’s Emotions Section

THE PRE-THINK CHECKLIST

MAKE A CHART

STRATEGIZE FROM YOUR CHART

5 CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: ONE-ON-ONE

OPENERS

BEFORE THE MEETING

OPENING TECHNIQUES: FIRST MOVES How You Greet

Small Talk to Someone You Know

Where to Sit

How to Get There

Body Language

PRESENTING THE SUBSTANCE

HOW TO BEGIN

MOTIVATE YOUR LISTENER!

ASK BEFORE YOU TELL

Telling and Explaining

Be Clear and Organized

Make Your Ideas Visual

Bring Take-Aways

DIALOGUE, NOT MONOLOGUE = SUCCESS

Create a Dialogue

Listen!

Know When to Finish

HANDLING PROBLEMS, ISSUES, AND NEGATIVE REACTIONS

HOW TO CRITICIZE

What We Do Wrong Most Often

Creative Criticism

If You’re the One Being Criticized

HANDLING ANGER AND HOSTILITY

What We Do Wrong Most Often

Techniques for Handling Hostility

GETTING AT THE TRUTH

If You’re the One in Charge

If You’re the Outsider

HANDLING BOREDOM AND INATTENTION

CLOSURE

RECAP AND CLARIFY

If It’s Your Meeting

If It’s Another’s Meeting

TROUBLESHOOT AREAS STILL NOT RESOLVED

If It’s Your Meeting

If It’s Another’s Meeting

AGREE ON NEXT STEPS

FOLLOW UP: CONFIRM IN WRITING

END ON A HIGH NOTE!

If You Weren’t the Host

If You Called the Meeting

CHECKLIST FOR ONE-ON-ONE ENCOUNTERS

BEFORE THE MEETING

OPENERS

PRESENTING THE SUBSTANCE How to Begin

HANDLING PROBLEMS, ISSUES, AND NEGATIVE REACTIONS

CLOSURE

6 SEEING IS BELIEVING: MAKING YOUR MESSAGE VISUAL

WHY VISUAL?

TAKE A NEW APPROACH

HOW VISUALS AFFECT YOUR AUDIENCE

MAKING MESSAGES VISUAL

WHAT TO SHOW, WHAT TO TELL

Which Subjects Need Visual Support

Which Subjects Need Only Telling

Which Subjects Need Both

ALWAYS PERSONALIZE YOUR MESSAGE

VISUAL TAKE-AWAYS

HOW TO DESIGN VISUAL MESSAGES

GETTING STARTED

EXHIBITS CAN BE SIMPLE

CHOOSING THE MEDIUM

A FEW BASIC DESIGN PRINCIPLES

MAKING AUDIENCES LOOK: EFFECTIVE PRESENTATION OF GRAPHICS

EFFECTIVE USE OF COLOR

MAKING YOUR MESSAGE VISUAL, VERBALLY

USING WORDS TO MAKE IMAGES

7 HOW TO CREATE GREAT PRESENTATIONS

THE CHALLENGE

PLANNING YOUR PRESENTATION

GETTING STARTED

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

THE KNOW-YOUR-AUDIENCE QUESTIONS: DON’T SPEECHIFY WITHOUT THEM!

KNOW-YOUR-AUDIENCE SPEEDY CHECKLIST

WHO’S TELLING?

HOW TO TELL IT: THE TECHNIQUES OF TELLING

ORGANIZING YOUR MESSAGE

HOW TO CREATE ORDER IN YOUR MESSAGE

Create Your Outline

LS/Long Shot

Med/Medium Shot

CU/Close-Up

WHAT SPEAKERS DO MOST OFTEN THAT CONFUSES US

BUILDING A SPEECH OUTLINE THAT MAKES SENSE

THREE APPROACHES TO ORGANIZING MATERIAL

DON’T JUST TELL ME—SHOW ME

BEST WAYS TO LAY OUT YOUR PRESENTATION ON A PAGE

WHY NOTES MATTER

WRITTEN SPEECHES VS. ORAL PRESENTATIONS

The Written vs. the Spoken Word

The Effects of Written Speeches on the Audience

The Effects of Written Speeches on the Speaker

For Addicted Need-My-Whole-Speech Writers

WRITING USABLE SPEECH NOTES AND OUTLINES

THE BASIC PROCESS

8 HOW TO DELIVER GREAT PRESENTATIONS

THE TECHNIQUES

OPENINGS

WHO ARE YOU?

Stage Fright!

GOOD GETTING-TO-KNOW-YOU OPENINGS

WHY SHOULD THEY LISTEN?

WHAT WILL THEY HEAR ABOUT AND HOW

CONTENT: HOW TO EXPLAIN AND PERSUADE

PRESENTING IN AN ORDERLY, ORGANIZED FASHION

TECHNIQUES FOR EXPLAINING NEW INFORMATION

SPEAKING AND LANGUAGE SKILLS

ACTIVATE YOUR AUDIENCE!

CLOSINGS

9 THE ART OF Q & A

WHY DO IT?

PREPARING FOR Q & A

UNDERSTANDING YOUR AUDIENCE

What to Look for and Expect

Understand Who Asks Questions

Understand Your Adversaries

Understand Your Feelings

ANSWERING TECHNIQUES

WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS

WHY PEOPLE DON’T ASK

HELPING PEOPLE GET STARTED

Some Other Launches for Q & A

SONYA’S 13 RESPONSES FOR SUCCESS IN Q & A

1. RELAX AND BE INFORMAL

2. LISTEN HARD TO THE QUESTION!

3. CLARIFY THE QUESTION

4.COMPLIMENT THE ASKER

5. TREAT EVERYONE RESPECTFULLY

6. AVOID DEBATES

7. IF YOU DON’T KNOW, SAY IT OUT LOUD!

8. HOW TO AVOID A QUESTION

9. TAKING SOME LUMPS IS INEVITABLE

10. BUYING TIME

11. TURN UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS AROUND

12. CUTTING PEOPLE OFF

13. GETTING THE AUDIENCE ON YOUR SIDE

10 MEETINGS: HOW TO LEAD AND HOW TO BE HEARD

WHY MEETINGS DON’T WORK

SKILLS YOU NEED TO LEARN AND SHARPEN

WHAT MEETINGS CAN AND SHOULD ACCOMPLISH

Team Building and Group Connection

Comparing Notes, Sharing Information

Hearing Opinions Openly Discussed

Looking for Solutions Together

Developing Consensus

Group Self-Criticism

PLANNING A MEETING

DEFINE YOUR OBJECTIVES, LARGE OR SMALL

QUESTION YOUR MEETING

Who Should Come?

Consider the Timing

SCHEDULING A MEETING

BEST AND WORST TIMES TO HAVE MEETINGS

LENGTH OF MEETINGS

LOCATION

WHICH DAY TO CHOOSE

CREATING THE AGENDA

INPUT FROM THE GROUP

NUMBER OF AGENDA ITEMS

PRIORITIZING AND POSITIONING

TIME ALLOTMENT

Set Agenda Times Together at the Meeting

LEADERSHIP SKILLS FOR HANDLING PEOPLE

BASIC PERSONALITIES AT MEETINGS

Movers

Opposers

Followers

Bystanders

THREE VITAL MEETING SKILLS

LISTENING

Techniques for Improving Listening

Techniques for Supporting

DISAGREEING

Techniques for Disagreeing Constructively

COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR MEETING LEADERS

GETTING THE GROUP’S ATTENTION

STAYING FOCUSED

ENGAGING THE NONPARTICIPANT

HOW TO CUT PEOPLE OFF

HANDLING CONTROVERSIAL OR TICKLISH SUBJECTS

GETTING AGREEMENT

WHEN MEETINGS GET OUT OF HAND

HANDLING EGOS AND CONFLICT

COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR MEETING PARTICIPANTS

COME PREPARED

SIT IN A POWERFUL PLACE

LOOK CONFIDENT AND INTERESTED

HOW TO SPEAK UP

ASK QUESTIONS

IF YOU’RE CRITICIZED OR ATTACKED

THE LAST WORD

INDEX

Acknowledgments

Business Leaders’ Response To How to Talk So People Listen By Sonya Hamlin

Also by Sonya Hamlin

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