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口袋里的英文幽默故事书电子书

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15人正在读 | 0人评论 6.5

作       者:李丹

出  版  社:石油工业出版社

出版时间:2011-11-01

字       数:21.2万

所属分类: 教育 > 外语 > 实用英语

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史上方便携带的英文故事书诞生了!这是一套可以放进口袋的英文读物,在公交和地铁上、在咖啡店、在自习室、在图书馆——无论您身处何处,总有一本小巧精致的英语故事书陪伴您。被震撼、被鼓励、被感动、被沉思,哪怕短短的5分钟,一个英语故事足以充实您的心灵。 《口袋里的英文故事书》不是优美抒情的散文,不是日日更新的新闻,不是枯燥乏味的专业文章,不是长篇大论的世界名著,而是一个个生动可读的故事。它有一种魔力,吸引着您开始阅读就停不下来。 本系列图书分为《口袋里的英文幽默故事书》、《口袋里的英文真情故事书》、《口袋里的英文创业故事书》、 《口袋里的英文传奇故事书》、 《口袋里的英文探索故事书》共5册。 《口袋里的英文幽默故事书》:让您忍俊不禁的笑话幽默一箩筐,它们短小精悍,生动活泼,取材广泛,内容丰富。在紧张的学习生活之余,给您带来快乐和轻松。 《口袋里的英文真情故事书》:有爱情,有亲情,有友情,甚至是陌生情感,篇篇都是真情。生活在有爱的世界里,一切都是美好的,一切都是真诚的。感动不常有,但真情就在转瞬之间。
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《口袋里的英文幽默故事书》编委会

前言 Preface

童趣无暇 Children Jokes

Rome Was Built at night 1.罗马是在夜里建成的

We Are in BIG Trouble 2.麻烦大了

Where Is Your Picture 3.你的画呢

Now It’s Someone Else’s Turn 4.这次该其他人做了

Guess the Animal 5.猜动物

God Is in Our Bathroom 6.上帝在卫生间里

Looking for Excuses 7.找借口

What Is Left Behind in the Pocket 8.口袋里还剩什么

Adult Decision 9.成人的决定

You Always Have Chicken, Can You Lay Eggs 10.你总是吃鸡,你会下蛋吗

You’re a Good Boy 11.你真是好孩子

Father’s Gift 12.爸爸的礼物

Made Someone Else Glad 13.使别人高兴

Didn’t Have Time to Take Trousers off When I Fell Down 14.摔倒时没有时间脱裤子

Why Am I Called Piano 15.我为什么叫钢琴

Who Is the Laziest in Your Class 16.你们班上谁最懒

How Many Students in Your Classroom 17.教室里有多少人

Where’s My Booger 18.我的鼻屎哪儿去了

Didn’t You Go to School When You Were a Little Boy 19.难道你小时候就没上过学

You Married My Mother 20.你娶了我妈妈

Guess What the Gift Is 21.猜猜礼物是什么

Stop Going After Me Like That 22.别这样跟着我

They’re Looking for Me 23.他们都在找我呢

Because Your Head Is Empty 24.因为你的脑袋是空的

Up Till Now Things Have Been Okay 25.在这之前一切都好

There Was Only One Cake Left 26.只剩一块饼了

My Father Killed the Dead Sea 27.我爸爸杀死了死海

Mother Was on the Roof 28.母亲在屋顶上

Use the Word‘Definitely’ in a Sentence 29.用“肯定地”造句

Now There Are Two 30.现在有两个了

My Friend Doesn’t Have a Valid License 31.我的同伴没证件

Today We Are Going to Study Punctuation 32.今天我们将学习标点符号

Which One Is Swallow, Which One Is Sparrow 33.哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀

Class, Lass, and Ass 34.学生、情妇和蠢驴

Think Like a Lawyer 35.像律师那样思考

Swim Across the River Three Times 36.渡河三次

Do You Know Who I Am 37.你知道我是谁吗

He Only Wanted to Talk to Billy 38.他只想和比利讲话

Reason for Late 39.迟到的原因

Because I’m the Goalie 40.因为我是守门员

Why Do You Give Birth to a Younger Sister to Me 41.你为什么又给我生一个妹妹呢

I’d Know Him Anywhere 42.他走到哪里我都能认出他

God Isn’t Deaf, but Grandma Is 43.上帝是不聋,可奶奶聋呀

Where Is the Father 44.爸爸去哪儿了

Teacher Helps Kindergarten Student Put His Boots on 45.老师帮小孩穿皮靴

I Don’t Care for Peanuts Anyway 46.我也不想吃那些花生了

I Have the Right to Remain Silent 47.我有权利保持沉默

Caterpillar Is Gone Now 48.毛毛虫现在不见了

Mother’s Picture 49.妈妈的照片

I Am Waiting for My Secretary 50.我在等我的秘书

He’ll Follow Us There 51.他会跟着我们到那儿的

I Thought You Were Calling the Next Student 52.我还以为你在叫下一个同学呢

You Must Have Better Eyes Than Your Mother 53.你的眼睛肯定比妈妈的好使

I Am the New Teacher 54.我是新来的老师

Just Resembles Your Hair 55.就像你的头发一样

Mother’s Birthday Present 56.妈妈的生日礼物

Her Waist Is Still Slim 57.她的腰还是那么细

动物趣事 Animal Funny Stories

I Can Not Drink That Much Every Day 58.我不能每天都喝那么多

Mankind Is Doing Something Unfair 59.人类真不公平

You Know 60.你知道的

Put That Cat on the Phone 61.让猫接电话

You Complain too Much 62.你抱怨得太多了

Do You Have Any Beer 63.你有啤酒卖吗

I’m the Last Reindeer You’ll See in Here 64.我将是你看到的最后一只驯鹿

I Want the Bear to Be Gay 65.我希望这只熊是同性恋

Jesus Is a Rottweiler 66.杰西是一只罗特韦尔犬

Turkey Plays Football 67.火鸡踢足球

This Is the Second Time That This Stupid Dog’s Forgotten His Key 68.这是这条笨狗第二次忘带钥匙了

Camel in the Zoo 69.动物园里的骆驼

Barking Dogs Don’t Bite 70.会叫的狗不咬人

They’re Carrion 71.它们只是腐肉

I’m Going to Get on the Ball 72.我准备爬到那只球上去

Punish the Parrot 73.惩罚鹦鹉

Prophecy 74.预言

I Didn’t See it 75.我没有看到它

I’m off Home to Harass the Cat 76.我回去骚扰一下猫

The Value of a Second Language 77.外语的重要性

Mad-cow-disease Don’t Affect us Ducks 78.疯牛病不会传染我们鸭子的

Coming with Lanterns to Look for Us 79.提着灯笼来找我们了

Religious Parrot 80.虔诚的鹦鹉

Pope or Ox?81.绳子还是公牛?

Who Is It 82.它是谁啊

What’d You Do With the Boat 83.你怎么把船变成这样的

Two Roaches 84.两只蟑螂

How Long Does It Take to Fly to New York City 85.乘飞机到纽约要多长时间

社会趣闻 Social Interesting Stories

So Do I 86.我也想

Settled on You With One Eye 87.一眼就看中你了

What Happened in Texas 88.你在得克萨斯州做了什么事

My Mom Is Single Too 89.我母亲也单身

Here’s A Tip 90.告诉你一个诀窍

The Teacher Cried 91.老师哭了

Keep the Handle from Falling off 92.可以防止锅铲柄掉下来

Marry a Penguin 93娶一只企鹅吧

Borrow Your Daughter 94.借你的女儿

How Old Are You 95.您高寿

Were You Pregnant When You Got in This Line 96.你开始在这儿排队的时候有没有怀孕

Guess 97.猜猜看

Thank Goodness 98.谢天谢地

How Do You Work This Camera 99.这相机怎么用

The Reason for a Move 100.搬家的理由

She's Driving too Fast 101.她开得太快了

Don’ t Come Out Until You’ re Told 102.不让你出来你就不能出来

Where We Landed Last Year 103.去年我们坠机的地方

Can’ t Cancel the Subscription 104.不能取消订阅

My Goat Was Tied to a Railroad Tie 105.我的羊拴在了铁路轨枕上

Wash Your Face and Go To Bed 106.洗洗脸睡觉吧

I Am Psychic 107.我有特异功能

Your Mother Said That You Would Pay for Her 108.你妈妈说你会为她付钱的

You Have To Do it Better in the Service 109.你们必须提供优质服务

That Record Will Stand Forever 110.这个记录会永远保持下去

Take a Long Hot Bath 111.洗个热水澡

I Couldn’ t Help It 112.我实在忍不住了

I Put My Opponent’s Name on the Card Which I Sent With the Wine 113.我把对手的名字写在了酒瓶的卡片上

Didn’t Catch the Bus 114.没能赶上车

Threw the Lawyer out the Window 115.抓住律师扔出窗外

Sheep That Can Swim 116.会游泳的羊

Who Is This Man 117.这个男人是谁

Do You Have Any Idea Who I Am 118.你知道我是谁吗

Painted in Nude 119.裸体漆油

You Skin This Bear 120.你把这只熊的皮剥了

I Came to Hook up Your Phone 121.我来给您接通电话

I Really Don’t Care 122.我真的不介意

My Name Is Stonebreaker 123.我的名字叫碎石机

I Bet He Will Be on My Flight 124.他肯定要和我坐同一班飞机

Get the Cat Out First 125.先把猫引出来

I Tried That 126.这个我试过

You drink My Poison 127.你喝了我的毒酒

IDon’tHaveThisProblemEither 128.我没有这个麻烦

Give Me the Keys 129.给我钥匙

Club Member 130.俱乐部的会员

Attendance Book 131.签到簿

I Locked My Keys in My Car 132.我把钥匙锁在车里了

Collateral Loan 133.抵押贷款

A Blonde Who Lost her Car 134.金发女郎丢车

Blonde Eats Banana 135.金发女郎吃香蕉

The President Is Kidnapped by Terrorists 136.总统被恐怖分子绑架了

Squeeze Twice for No 137.听不见就捏两下

The Gas Don't Smell and Are Silent 138.屁不臭而且没声音

Outrageous 139.离谱

Buddy Is Blind 40.巴迪是个瞎子

I May as Well Pick up Tomorrow’s Paper 141.我把明天的报纸也拿着吧

So That’s What It Was 142.原来是这么回事

Refused to Approve the Salary Hike 143.不同意加薪

Big Sale 144.降价大甩卖

Blondes Laying Sod 145.金发女郎铺草皮

I Want the Person Who Pushed Me in That Water 146.我想知道是谁把我推下水的

It’s One in the Morning 147.都凌晨一点了

You’re No Actor 148.你不是当演员的料

Blind Man Visit Texas 149.盲人游得克萨斯

Own the Whole Building 150.拥有整幢楼

I Saw the Five O’clock News Too 151.我也看过5点的新闻

Time to Take Pills 152.吃药时间

Kiss My Sister Goodbye 153.和妹妹吻别

It’s Time to Go Home 154.该回家了

Gun Shot 155. 枪杀

I’m Taking Him to See a Movie 156.今天带它去看电影

Adventures 157.冒险经历

What to Do Next 158.下一步应该怎么做

Incompetent Clerk 159.不称职的店员

In Such Bad Shape 160.情况那么糟

Faux Pas 161. 冒犯

Fix the Brakeson That Fire Truck 162 .修消防车的刹车

She is My Wife 163.她是我妻子

The Worst Day 164.最倒霉的一天

When I’ve Had a Few Pints 165.喝了几杯后

I Can Bite My Eye 166.我能咬自己的眼睛

Get You Used to the Dirt 167.早日适应泥土

Buy Some Toilet Paper 168.买卫生纸

Figure Out the Time 169.知道时间

Prepared for Your Arrival Tomorrow 170.就等你明天来

Anyone Got a Problem with That 171.有人不服吗

Are You Feeling Better Now 172.你觉得好点了吗

I Should Have Brought My Wife Here 173.应该把我老婆带到这里

He’s So Drunk 174.他喝醉了

I’m Her Father 175.我是她的父亲

I Never Saw a Cow 176.我从来没见过牛

What’s Time to a Pig 177.时间对猪来说有什么用呢

Mary’s Heroic Act 178.玛丽的英勇行为

A Dollar Per Point 179.一美元换一分

Go for a Viaduct 180.过立交桥

Punish the Teacher 181.惩罚老师

He’s Getting Senile 182.他是老糊涂了

Where Were You Yesterday 183.你昨天上哪儿去了

I’ll Go There Myselfin a Few Minutes 184.一会儿我亲自过去

Help Me Find My Car 185.帮我找车

Unbelievable 186.难以置信

A Normal person’s Choice 187.正常人的选择

Rechecking My Answers 188.复查答案

Pay Telephone 189.投币电话

Good Advice for Losing Feet 190.减肥良方

I Just Quit Drinking 191.我刚刚戒酒了

Where Did You Get That Awful Haircut 192.这么难看的头发是在哪里剪的

Did We Catch Up Withthe Cow Again 193.我们又赶上那头母牛了

How Did You Ever Get Here 194.你是怎样来这儿的

The Front Half of the Airplane Wasn't Going to Jamaica 195.飞机的前半段不到牙买加

Who’s Hearing Is Poor 196.谁听力不好

家庭幽默 Family Humor

All I Do Is to Pay the Bill 197.我需要做的就是付账

I Cannot Die Without Telling You the Truth 198.我不能带着真相死去

Keep Feeding Him Nickels 199.继续喂他五分镍币

Hard To Tell 200. 不好说

I Lost 200 Yuan 201. 200元就是我丢的

Wake up, It’s 6 O’clock 202.该起床了,6点了

Who Is Talking With You 203.谁和你说话了

The Meaning of Dreams 204.解梦

I Belong to the Rest 30% 205.我属于剩下的30%

Your Fucking Horse Just Phoned 206.你那该死的马刚才打电话找你

Where’d You Get Them 207.你从哪儿弄来的

I Am Coming with You 208.我跟你一起走

I Am His Second 209.我就是他的第二个老婆

What Was the Nature of Your Illness 210.你是怎么患上精神病的

I Will Do as You Do 211.我会照你做的那样做的

She Just Isn’t Good Enough for Me 212.她已经配不上我了

The Meaning of KISS 213. KISS的含义

I’m the Groom 214.我就是新郎

Who Is Unfaithful 215.到底谁不忠

Watch Out for the Wall 216.小心那堵墙

Discussing the Future 217.谈论未来

How Would You Like It 218.你觉得怎么样

Father Was Not Sitting in the Tree 219.父亲并不坐在树上

What’s That 220.那是什么鸟

Open One Eye and Close the Other 221.睁一只眼,闭一只眼

Hard to Believe 222.真是难以置信

Not Yet 223.还不是时候

Think About 224.考虑考虑

I Turn Off the Light 225.我把灯关了

Does That Big Note Give Birth to Some Children 226.那张大票生孩子没有

Take the Blame 227.承担过错

I Want to Be Formal 228.我也先正式点

My Mother Moves in With Us 229.妈妈会搬来和我们一起住

Not Lonely at All 230.一点也不寂寞

Of Course I Will! Who’s This 231.当然愿意!你是哪位

If You Want to, Just Buy It 232.想买就买吧

Jealous Wife 233.爱猜忌的妻子

Son’s Trouble 234.儿子的难处

Close Your Eyes 235.闭上眼睛

Miraculous Influence 236.惊人的影响力

If You Don’t Get This Letter, Please Let Me Know 237.如果没收到这封信,请告诉我

I Make All the Big Ones 238.我只管大事

What You’re Complaining About 239.有什么可抱怨的

I Married into the Family 240.我嫁到他们家了

It Has Water in the Carburetor 241.化油器里进水了

I Would Have Gotten out Today 242.我本来今天已经可以出狱了

Where Is His Wheel Chair 243.他的轮椅呢

30 Years Younger Than Me 244. 比我年轻30岁

Last Wish 245.最后的愿望

Save All the Coal 246.把煤全部省下来

Today Is the Last Night 247.今天就是最后一晚上了

Feeding the Dog Medicine 248.给狗喂药

Band-aids on the Mirror 249.镜子上的创可贴

Having Problems Remembering Things 250.记性不好

Bride 251新娘

Honest Wife 252诚实的妻子

Secret of Health 253.健康的秘诀

Jump off This Building 254从这个楼上跳下去

The Date My Grandson Was Born 255.孙子的出生时间

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