今晚……要么早点睡电子书

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目录

献给

题记

我尊重你和爱情，但我和同事在酒吧里忘却了时间

I honor you and our love but I also lost track of time at a bar with my coworkers

今晚有性趣吗

Are you in the mood?

我们的爱情

our love

你为什么要跟我一起洗澡

Why are you in the shower with me?

你莫非在撩我

Is it possible you are sending me a sexy signal?

你是独特的

You are different

酸奶

Yogurt

你打算何时关上你的电子书

When are you planning to turn off your Kindle?

约会之夜

Date night

就寝时间

Bedtime

我吸着你的口气

I breathe you

纵欲

orgy

浴室的门

Bathroom door

在厨房的洗碗池边

At the kitchen sink

备孕历程

The fertility process

再加点料

Let’s spice things up

你们离开时，我哭了

I cry as you drive away

现在这么做合适吗

Is this the right time for that?

灯芯绒

Corduroys

很显然，用手机玩暧昧不是这样的

sexting isn’t this, apparently

艾米丽的名字不是瑞秋

emily’s name isn’t Rachel

醒来后才意识到，我在你的生日聚会上调戏了你的闺密

on waking late and realizing that I hit on your best friend at your birthday party

亲密关系心理咨询（第一部分）

Couples counseling (part 1)

你在想谁呢

Who were you thinking about?

我们该几点去机场

What time should we leave for the airport?

我们说了彼此的……

We finish each other’s …

海鲜？

seafood?

亲密关系心理咨询（第二部分）

Couples counseling (part 2)

你和朋友外出后，你妈打来电话，我想对她说——

What I meant to say to your mother when she called and you were out with friends

半夜里，你找我

You reach for me in the middle of the night

来一起讨论下我的内衣

Let’s talk about my underpants

不能正确组装宜家的橱柜，我思索自己的男子气概

While failing to correctly assemble an IKeA cabinet, I consider my manhood

亲密关系心理咨询（第三部分）

Couples counseling (part 3)

我们会有所不同

We will be different

我问没孩子的同事蒂姆，他周末过得怎么样

I ask my coworker, Tim, who doesn’t have children, how his weekend was

晚饭吃点儿什么

What’s the plan for dinner?

我们的爱情在路上受到了考验

our love is tested in traffic

我可否不再参加孩子学校的志愿服务

Would it be possible to stop volunteering me for things?

亲密关系心理咨询（第四部分）

Couples counseling (part 4)

写给你那位精神类药理学家的赞歌

ode to your psychopharmacologist

深思熟虑后，我后悔我们没能早点儿离开公司的假日派对

Upon reflection, I wish we had left my company holiday party a little earlier

母亲节

mother’s Day

我在诉说前列腺检查的不适，你的表情却告诉我……

Thoughts on the expression on your face while I explain the discomfort of my recent prostate exam

你对我的一丝惦念

You sort of thought of me

我的结扎手术

my vasectomy

致丽莎，非玩笑话

To Lissa.No kidding.

致谢

ACKNoWLeDGmeNTs

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