1. My Life Is Over
2. Why Are Men so Freaked Out About Having Children?
3. Getting Pregnant (Not You, Obviously)
4. The Pregnancy, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb...er, Baby
5. Homework I Really Don't Feel Like Doing: Classes, Movies, and Books
6. Health and Tests You Can't Study For
7. Like College Parties, Sex Is a 50-50 Chance
8. Getting Your House Ready for Your New Permanent Roommate
9. The Delivery, C-sections, and Monty Python
10. The Hospital Stay and Unexpected Epiphanies
11. So...Now What Do We Do?
12. My Baby Is Crying. Help Me.
13. Now That I Have Another Mouth to Feed, How Do I Feed It?
14. The Myths and Truths of Having a Child
15. Picking a Daycare, or When to Give Your Child to a Complete Stranger
16. I See a New Mother, but Where the Hell Did My Wife Go?
17. Pediatricians, Vaccines, and Celebrities
18. Babyproofing, Safety, and Tilting at Windmills
19. Children's Programming or Programming Children?
20. What's the Best Way to Parent?
21. Parent Groups
22. Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
23. Oh, the Places You'll Reluctantly Go: Traveling with an Infant or Toddler
24. Are You a Bad Parent?
25. Advice from Family and Other People, but Mostly Family
26. What's the Best and Worst Part About Having a Child?
27. Other than the Robots Taking Over, What Does the Future Hold?
About the Author
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