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Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Contents
Introduction
Peter Pan Syndrome
Unknown
Inability to commit
Strangulation by Peter Pan tights
A 12-ounce can of beer
Time fears
Cowardice
Wrong words
He needed space
A toxic dose of sanity
Narcissism, stage 4
Better Off Without You
Infidelity, lies, and deception
Complications brought on by an In-N-Out burger
“Nexus, Kingdom of the Winds” online game became more important than the person in the room
A nice girl looking for a nice guy for companionship, possible marriage
Mutual exhaustion
Lack of missing
Lies, mistrust, deceit, and disappointment
He wasn’t who she thought he was
Acute nagging and disbelief
Alcoholism and selfishness
General meanness and complete insanity
Haiku overdose
Inability to escape the dark shadow of man’s 20-year marriage
The Death of True Love
To this day, I don’t know why we broke up
Met too young
Suffocating from an emotionally transmitted disease
He announced it was over
A comic misunderstanding
A clumsy stab to the heart and slow loss of blood
Standard transmission
His love expired
Doomed from the Start
He came out of the closet
His still valid marriage certificate
He decided to become a priest
Lack of trust
Fear, dishonesty
He got her, and then he was bored
Complications relating to terminal age difference
Can you lose what you never had?
His lies
Inability to accept love
Obsession with himself
Evaporation
Arrogance mixed with a narrow-minded religion, assholitis, and selfishness
Wanderlust in Thailand
Kierkegaard
A rainstorm of expectations, lies, manipulations, and distortions
I F***ed Up
Overexposure and malnutrition
Neglect, restlessness, fear
Hanukkah Harry
Girls, girls, girls
The Modern Obit
A Do-It-Yourself Relationship Obit Mad Lib
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
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