How to Booze电子书

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Why We Booze, and Why It Matters

The Basic Skills

Stage 1

First Date

You Will Regret This; You Already Regret This

Variations

Vodka Martini

Vesper Martini

Dirty Martini

Gibson

Dirty Gibson

Second Date

Threesomes

The Closer

Variations

Dubonnet Royal

Self-Love Still Counts as Love

Variations

Bamboo

Going, Going, Gone

Back in the Saddle After Seven Long Months

Sexual Encounters in Generic Bars and Hotels Across the Land

Variations

Between the Sheets

Pouring Salt on an Open Wound, or Drinking with the Ex

Variations

Mojito

The Fling of a Lifetime

The Drunk Dial

Drowning Out the Ticking of Your Biological Clock

Fighting Infidelity with Infidelity

Variations

Bitter French

Cognac French 75

Tiptoeing Across the Line

Stalking Your Ex

Variations

Tequila Sour

Emotionally Unhealthy Moments in Beautiful Places

Smoldering Jealousy Is the Stiffest Drink

Variations

Whiskey Smash

Stage 2

Drinking Alone

Variations

Traditional Manhattan

Outdoor Bars

Variations

Rum Daisy

Sweet Lord, Why Is Everyone Here So Homely?

Brunch

Variations

Bloody Mary

Red Snapper

Bloody Caesar

Alternative: Mimosa

A Drink With Old Friends

Suffering Through Sports

Barbecues

Variations

Daiquiri

Brown Derby

Hemingway Daiquiri

Getting Deep into D&D

Striking Up Conversation with Strangers

Intentional Bad Drunk

He’s Probably Not Answering His Phone Because…

Calling in Sick, Listening to StoryCorps, and Crying All Those Bittersweet Tears

High School Reunion

Visiting the Opposite Coast

Dinner Served in White Paper Boxes

After Work

Variations

Pickleback

Booze and Pills on the Red-eye

Sitting Next to a Movie Star

Shopping While Intoxicated

Variations

White Russian

Dublin Mudslide

Endless Arguments over Easily Ascertainable Facts

The Hangover

Reading the Good Book

Cocktails with People You Despise

Tawdry Holiday Parties

Tidings from the Unabomber

The Unwinding

Stage 3

The Proposal

The Procedure

Variations

Rum Sour

“I Do Not Want to Be Doing This”

“Holy SHIT!!”

Meeting the In-Laws

Variations

Pegu Club

Bachelor Party

Bachelorette Party

Your Wedding

Be Boozy and Multiply

Mom Drank with Me…and I’m Fine!

Drinking at the Park

Variations

Cognac Mint Julep

Surviving Sleepovers

Realizing Your Child Is a Fucking Idiot

Variations

Screwdriver

Salty Dog

Stage 4

Mumbo’s Last Ride to the Vet

Laid Off

Last Drink Before AA

Variations

Tuxedo No. 1

Toasting the End of Days

Variations

Piña Colada

Your Final Drink

Stocking Up

References

Drink Index

Acknowledgments

About the Authors and Illustrator

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher