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Dedication
Contents
Introduction
Hellish Gargoyle
Suicidal Tendencies
Fear of Dreams
Everybody’s Mother
Changing Values
Poisoned Fish
One Word
Not the End of the World
Stealing Home
The Happiest Man Alive
Curse of Financial Fools
Eight Naked Strangers
The Perfect Father
Drowning
Piercing Experience
The Most Merciless Weapon
Dance of Life
Something Caught
I Can Fly
Big Dix
Bona Fide Fag Status
Welcome to Heaven
I Don’t Swallow
Gay Man Loves Woman
A Jar of Teeth
Nothin’ Harder Than a Preacher’s Dick
Bad Vision
One of Those Nights
Grant Makes It
Putting Out
Fugitives from Bad Credit
A Strange Man
Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch
A White Father
You Can’t Get Away
A Sign
A Reason to Live
Left Behind
On My Knees
Killer Turkey
A Land That No Longer Exists
Letting Go in Las Vegas
My Mother and the History of Pornography
Hanging on in Zurich
A Pool of Piss
Born-Again Booze Weenie
An Ode to Crappy Cars
Confessions of a Festival Whore
Hell Is a Festival
Lost Things
Bare Breasts
A Dead Cat
A Clean Slate
Ample Breasts Bursting with Desire
In My Head
My Outstretched Hand
The Long Good-bye
It’s All About Safety
Escaping in the New Year
Perilous Climb
Unconnected
The Art of Fooling People
Inner Evil
Rock Bottom
Other People’s Blood
The Dutiful Sister
The Pie Approach
Godless Whore
Freak Like Me
Playing Dead
A Big Shock
Puppy Love
Thank You, Dr. Melkonian
More Inner Evil
Broken
Severed Head in a Sack
Butthole to Hell
I’ve Always Been a Bad Whore
What Are Friends For?
The Road Home
Hot Neighborhood
The Bandwagon
A Bog of Odors
Minor Details
Missing Pieces
My Mother’s Reflection
Myrtle the Lesbian Ghost
The New Ghost
Get Right with God
Jesus Loves Atheists
Acknowledgments
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About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
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