Passages in Caregiving电子书

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

The Making of a Caregiver

1

Why I Wrote This Book

Collision of Life Stages

2

Finding the Right Doctor

What Is Your Story?

3

Eight Turnings Around the Labyrinth of Caregiving

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

VII

VIII

Walking The Path In Your Own Way

4

Even Alphas Wear Out

The Acute Caregiver

The Chronic Caregiver

Men Are Caregivers, Too

The Long-Distance Caregiver

Strategies

Are Your Parents Safe and Sound?

What Are They Eating?

“Nana” Technology to Close the Distance

Culturally Scripted Caregivers

Who Cares For The Caregiver?

The Upside

First Turning

5

Seeking Surgery Without Stress

Reprieve

Strategies

Empower Yourself

Start the Conversation Before the Crisis

Interview Doctors

Seek a Second Opinion

Consider Treatment Options

Use Guided Imagery—Your Insurance May Pay for It!

Ask About Quality of Life Under Treatment

Check Out Hospitals

Google Without Freaking

Absorb the Shock and Process Together

Develop an Action Plan

6

Dealing with Parental Rebellion

Strategies

Hotline Help for Caregivers

Brain Training for Dad—and You, Too!

Become a Reporter and an Advocate

Call Your Local Area Agency on Aging

Consider a Geriatric Care Manager

Find Out Why Mom Is Falling

Investigate a Medical Alert System

Create a Notebook

Have the Conversation with Your Siblings

Get a Diagnostic Workup

Second Turning

7

Sacrifices We Rush to Make

A New New Normal

8

Strategies

Don’t Miss Geriatric Depression

Ask for a Geriatric Depression Screen

Get the Whole Family Involved

The Colberts’ New Normal

Strategies

Don’t Be the Lonely Hero

Care for Yourself

Boomerang

Playing God

Strategies

The Pace Program

“I Can’t Do It Anymore”

The Family Meeting

Strategies

Balancing Work and Care

How Can a Family Caregiver Be Paid?

Recommended Reading

9

Playing from Old Scripts

Brotherly Love

Sisters Forever

Third Turning

10

Pulling Together

Never Give Up

Strategies

Designate a Medical Quarterback

Consider Hiring a Research Guide

Explore Complementary Treatments

11

Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There!

The Conversation

Strategies

Relieve Caregiver Stress

Hold On to Your Job

Pull Close to Friends

Seek Distractions

Seek Out Other Caregivers or Join a Support Group

The Conversation

12

When Dad Becomes Caregiver

“I Can’t Do It Alone!”

One Family’s Meeting

Strategies

Transfers Without Fear of Falling

Getting Mom Out of the House

Unexpected Benefits

Strategies

Expand Your Care Circle

Cultivate Your Social Network

Empower a Parent to Decide Not to Drive

Get Everyone at the Table for the Family Meeting

Find a Neutral Facilitator

Set Up a Shared Family Calendar

Fourth Turning

13

Traveling—Fearless or Foolish?

Strategies

Don’t Give Up on Traveling

The View From Meredith Vieira

14

Sharing Family History

Strategies

Encourage Storytelling

Coming Out of the Cocoon

Why Doesn’t He Appreciate?

Strategies

Protect Yourself from Patient Backlash

15

The Codependency Trap

The Consequences of Playing God

Strategies

Take a Reality Check

Set Boundaries!

16

Grief as Fear

Reentering the Outside World

Strategies

Revise Your Attachment

Powerful Tools for Caregivers

Connect with Other Well Spouses

Is It Really Alzheimer’s?

Fifth Turning

17

Chemo—Killing to Cure

Round-trips to the Emergency Room

Fateful Conversations

When You Least Expect It

Strategies

Move, Baby, Move!

Dealing with the Discharge Planner

Twenty-four Steps

Misplacing Clay

Strategies

Don’t Succumb to Caregiver Guilt

Transits Without Trauma

Moving to Rehab? Plan Early!

High-Voltage Warning

Going Home Smart

Create an Online Calendar

Ask the Purpose of Every Test

18

You Don’t Have to do It Alone

Strategies

Does Your Company Offer a Care Manager?

Cooling Down Stress

Strategies

The Laughing Cure—No Joke!

19

When He Forgets Who You Are

Another New Normal

The Reluctant Caregiver

20

Bringing Mother Back

Creativity Never Dies

Strategies

Stages of Alzheimer’s

Sixth Turning

21

Feeling the Fears

Seeking Serenity

Finding My Joy

Giving Up My Passages House

A Triangle of Care

Strategies

Reconnect with Your Transports to Joy

Keith Wolfard’s Comeback

22

Strategies

Necessary Reconciliations

When The Caregiver Is Abused

Mary’s Emergence

Seventh Turning

23

Nobody Wants the Chronically Ill

Seeking Solace from My Daughter

The Magic Partnership

Strategies

When Is It Time for Hospice?

Follow the Money

Healing Places

Unlearning Helplessness

24

Strategies

What Kind of Home Care Do You Need?

Does Medicaid Cover Home Care?

Finding an Elder-Care Attorney

Does Your Insurance Cover Home Care?

You Need a “Fixer”

Strategies

Can You Afford a Geriatric Care Manager?

What Can a Home Health Aide Do?

Recommended Agencies

Do You Need to Hire a Nurse?

Compare the Cost of Alternatives

You Have an Advocate

Go to the Gray Market

Our Team

Strategies

Managing Home Care

How to Find a Geriatric Care Manager

Last Trip to the Hospital

25

Eighth Turning

26

Deciding on How and When to Let Go

The Contini Family Crisis

Strategies

Palliative Care Versus Hospice

When to Ask for Palliative Care

What to Ask For

Where to Find It

27

When to Push the Body, When to Nourish the Spirit

Strategies

Asking the Right Questions

Returning Power to the Patient

Palliative Care for the Caregiver

A Call to Action

Resisting

Strategies

Rehearse Physical Separation

Recognize Caregiver Burnout

Curing Codependency

Strategies

Pick Up Your Former Passion

28

Letting Go

Is It Time?

29

Catching Up with Hillary

How Am I Going to Die?

Finding Myself Again

The Crisis of Impermanence

Epilogue

Sustainable Aging

Afterlife of a Caregiver

For Better or Worse

New York, New York, If You Can Age Here

Community Care Comes to You

Final Words

From Crisis to Closure

Resources

Hospice Programs

Palliative Care Programs

Searchable Terms

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Books by Gail Sheehy

Copyright

About the Publisher