How to Feel Confident: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence电子书

Title Page

Also by Leil Lowndes

Contents

Preface

Section I: A word to the shy . . .

Don’t be an avoidance junkie

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 1: Go cold turkey on the small stuff

Don’t expect a miracle (today at least!)

Welcome

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 2: Eat the Peaches at your own pace

The confidence warm-up

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 3: Wake up like a whacko

Section II: Dealing with people until your shyness is gone

Should I tell people I’m shy?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 4: Why tell strangers?

Labels are lethal

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 5: Don’t burn yourself with the ’shy’ branding iron

Tell the truth, the half-truth, and nothing but the half-truth

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 6: I’m shy, so what?

Section III: What people really think of you

Can people tell I’m shy?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 7: Be shy on the sly

Take off your mud-coloured spectacles

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 8: Pitch the paranoia

Don’t be a sucker for rejection

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 9: Don’t choose toxic friends

Come back down off the ceiling

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 10: Stamp out the surreal

Think of your shyness from their perspective

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 11: Don’t let stupid sures make you shy

Slay the monster memories

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 12: Be your own social scribe

I think I’m beginning to love you, self

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 13: Find your passion and your purpose

Section IV: Getting out of the kitchen at parties

A shy’s most important 10 seconds

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 14: Click on ’animate’ for 10 seconds

Who’s the boss? Your mind or body?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 15: Let your body be the boss

How to make eye-contact easy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 16: Infant eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 17: Octogenarian eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 18: Eager eyes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 19: Say ’I like you’ silently

A quick smile and a slow jet get you nowhere fast

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 20: Make faces at yourself For the want of a smile

For the want of a smile

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 21: A lifetime of happiness was lost

Snobs don’t smile either

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 22: Don’t let them feel snubbed

If at first you don’t succeed, swear!

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 23: Your first failure is success

Battling blushing, sweating and clammy hands

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 24: Laugh it off before it happens

Section V: Absolutely no-pain, lots-of-gain techniques

The power and pleasure of anonymity

The out-of-town caper

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 25: Be anonymous for a day

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 26: Be an undercover shy

Dress as Your Fantasy Person

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 27: Kick out the dull kit Fries with That?

Fries with That?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 28: Be a part-time job-hopper

Section VI: Get a (new) life

Something to consider

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 29: Time to jump ship?

The Shy’s Sneaky Way to Get a Super Job

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 30: Interview with companies you don’t want to work for

Section VII: Parties and other places in hell

Building up to bashes

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 31: Prescription: one small dose of party

Going to a party is not ’going to a party’

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 32: Have a buddy monitor you

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 33: Showing up is not enough

Preparing for a party

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 34: Ponder before the party

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 35: Get opinionated!

Getting legless is not the answer

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 36: Drink and drugs make shyness worse

How to get off the hook (half the time)

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 37: Toss a coin

The danger of being a ’denying shy’

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 38: Bring a note from your subconscious

Section VIII: Fearless conversation

Terrified of being trite?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 39: Be banal, but not brief

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 40: Sound dazzled over the dullest things

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 41: Use their moniker in moderation

What do I say next?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 42: Ask ’go on’ questions

The proven eye-contact cure

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 43: The eyeball lock

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 44: Looking longer looks smart

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 45: Lingering looks kindle ’chemistry’

Chameleons should choose their colours carefully

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 46: A little shove from a non-shy friend

Become an expert – on anything!

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 47: Find others who share your passion

How to answer the inevitable question

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 48: Rehearse your mini-CV

Nobody expects you to perform

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 49: Look, nod, smile

Passion slays shyness

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 50: Stamp out shyness with your particular passion

Section IX: Sure-fire extinguishers for shyness

A dare a day drives shyness away

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 51: Do your daily dare

Make shopping a valuable part of SOS

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 52: Inspect six, buy one

A little help from man’s best friend

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 53: Attention-getter on a leash

Social blooper remedy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 54: Make a mental movie of your cool moves

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 55: What the manners mavens say

Take a bite out of shyness for lunch

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 56: Eat your shyness

Download confidence into your eardrums

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 57: Listen to the voices in your head

Section X: Sex and the single shy

There are no love ’guarantees’

A dangerous dating game for shys

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 58: Computer dating is a sure’s game

Oversexed or underconfident?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 59: Don’t get caught in the sex/love trap

Being shy and gay is lonely

Relationship rehearsals

The lovin’ is easy. It’s getting there that’s hard

Shall I put on a big act?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 60: Act your way to confidence

Section XI: Shy no more

Graduation day

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 61: Give yourself a graduation party

Section XII: Why am I shy?

Take the ’cot test’ to see if you were born shy

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 62: Ask them if you freaked out

Did I ’catch’ a dose of shyness?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 63: Rummage through your relatives

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 64: Did shyness rub off on you?

Was it bullies in bygone days?

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 65: Replay the early show

It was all mum and dad’s fault

CONFIDENCE BOOSTER 66: Don’t baby your baby

So who ya gonna blame?

Notes

Cheryl’s full letter

More self-knowledge questions

References

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Acknowledgements

About the author

Copyright

About the Publisher