Always in the Kitchen at Parties Simple Tools for Instant Confidence电子书

copyright

contents

preface

section I

a word to the shy…

don’t be an avoidance junkie

Hooked on ‘Hide and Seek’

Getting ‘High’ on Avoidance

don’t expect a miracle (today at least!)

TV Show: ‘Fearful People Are Freaks’

Phobia Coach Cures Acrophobia to Zoophobia. Success Guaranteed. Walk-ins Welcome

welcome

Right Idea, Wrong Timing

Easy Does It

The Magic Combo to Kill Shyness

the confidence warm-up

The Energy Crisis

First, Become Unglued

Naked Dancing

section II

why am I shy?

take the ‘cot test’ to see if you were born shy

When the Doctor Spanked You Did You Take It Personally?

Four Years Later

Does Being an Introvert Mean Being Shy?

Wanted: Thinker, Artist, Philosopher – Must Be Shy

did I ‘catch’ a dose of shyness?

Shake Your Family Tree for Signs of Shyness

Is Shyness a Communicable Disease?

was it bullies in bygone days?

Those Nasty Kids in the Neighbourhood

A Raspberry to Remember

it was all mum and dad’s fault

Dahling, My Shrink Said …

Where’s Lenny Now?

Tell Your Kids to Go Play in Traffic

Mums, Don’t Kiss It Better

so who ya gonna blame?

section III

dealing with people until your shyness is gone

should I tell people I’m shy?

Using the ‘S’ Word

The ‘Big Confession’

labels are lethal

When a Label Stopped the Music for Me

tell the truth, the half-truth, and nothing but the half-truth

How to Get Out of a Situation You’re Not Ready for – Yet!

Some Savvy Shys Prefer to Laugh and ‘Warn’ People

Is Shyness ‘Charming’?

section IV

what people really think of you

can people tell I’m shy?

Everybody’s Laughing at Me

The Great Pretenders

People Are Way Off Base

take off your mud-coloured spectacles

Don’t Nitpick for Negatives

I Just Know They Hate Me

He Said, She Said

Life Is the Pits

Life Is Beautiful

don’t be a sucker for rejection

If You Accept Me, I Don’t Accept You

come back down off the ceiling

Shoot the ‘My Life’ Movie

Your Out-of-Body Experience

think of your shyness from their perspective

Shys Don’t Play Stupid Games

Can’t Take It, Can Ya Buddy?

slay the monster memories

It Wasn’t as Bad as You Think It Was

It Starts Early

Clean Your Binoculars

Don’t Watch the Re-runs

Log It as a Cold Case

Get Real

I think I’m beginning to love you, self

Getting to Know and Love Yourself

Invest Just Five Minutes a Day for a Priceless Gift

section V

getting out of the kitchen

a shy’s most important 10 seconds

No Need to Stay Zapped All Day

Come On Big

who’s the boss? your mind or body?

If It Looks Like a Shy, Sounds Like a Shy, and Walks Like a Shy, It Must Be a Shy

Your Mind-Body Battle for Togetherness

The Goodbye-to-Shy Theme Song: Simple to Scary

What Super-Sure Looks Like

how to make eye-contact easy

Get Comfortable Looking at Two Eyeballs per Person

Baby, What Beautiful Eyes You Have

Raise the Bar

Longer Eye-contact Made Simple

The Unspoken ‘I Like You’

a quick smile and a slow jet get you nowhere fast

Whoops, I Missed Your Smile Because I Blinked

Is the Smile You Give the Smile They Get?

Smile at Your Goldfish

for the want of a smile

snobs don’t smile either

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Who, Me? A Snob?

Good Looks Can Count Against a Shy

if at first you don’t succeed, swear!

Three Strikes and You’re Not Out

battling blushing, sweating and clammy hands

What If You Know You Can’t Hide It?

Hit It on the Head with Humour

Here Comes Bernie the Blusher

section VI

absolutely no-pain, lots-of-gain techniques

the power and pleasure of anonymity

Not So ‘Merry Christmas’ for a Shy

The Masked Shy

My Costumed Caper

the out-of-town caper

Excuse Me, I’m a Stranger in Town

dress as your fantasy person

You Feel Like What You Wear

Wear ‘Look at Me’ Clothes

fries with that?

How Can I Help You?

section VII

get a (new) life

something to consider

Revelation on the Potty

the shy’s sneaky way to get a super job

The Professional World Cheats Shys

‘No Job’ Stress

Get a Great Job by Cheating

Money Slips Through Shy Fingers

section VIII

parties and other places in hell

building up to bashes

The Party-a-Thon

Party Like a Pigeon

going to a party is not ‘going to a party’

Don’t Growl at the Guests

preparing for a party

My ‘D’uh’ Moment

Go Ahead. Be Biased. (In a Politically Correct Way, Of Course)

getting legless is not the answer

Shys and Booze

how to get off the hook (half the time)

Stay Home, Guilt Free

Camouflaged Avoiding

the danger of being a ‘denying shy’

Confucius Said: ‘A Shy Smile Is Better Than Egg on Your Face’

section IX

fearless conversation

terrified of being trite?

Be a ‘You Firstie’

‘I’m Fine’ Isn’t Enough

Using Their Name Says Something about You

what do I say next?

Better Than Their Humanoid Sounds

the proven eye-contact cure

Dr Daffy Did It

Eye-contact Is Smart and Sexy, Too

chameleons should choose their colours carefully

Personality Is ‘Catching’

become an expert – on anything!

‘How Can You Tell a Poisonous One from a Good One?’

Excuse Me for Taking Up Space on Your Planet

Even a Mushroom Can Sprout Love

how to answer the inevitable question

Your Enthralling Answer to a Cliché Query

nobody expects you to perform

Some of the Best Conversationalists Never Open Their Mouths

Greek to Me

Nobody Expects You to Talk

passion slays shyness

Passion Makes You Forget Being Shy

Turn Off the ‘ME’ Show

The Incredible Power of Passion

section X

sure-fire extinguishers for shyness

a dare a day drives shyness away

It’s Better to Be Me

You’ve Got to Be Kidding! Are You Nuts?

make shopping a valuable part of SOS

a little help from man’s best friend

A New Twist on Trite Advice

Get a Look-alike Dog

social blooper remedy

The Chicken Little Syndrome

Great News

Write Your Own Horror Story

What If I Don’t Know What to Do?

take a bite out of shyness for lunch

A Very Healthy Diet

download confidence into your eardrums

Turn Off the Music, Turn On the Confidence

Audio Track to Confidence

section XI

sex and the single shy

there are no love ‘guarantees’

a dangerous dating game for shys

Opportunity or Trap?

oversexed or underconfident?

Shy Baby Sister or Class Slut?

Intimacy Is Not the Problem

It’s Not That Easy for a Shy Guy

being shy and gay is lonely

relationship rehearsals

A Mind-Boggling Question

Do Some Practice Dates

A Caution and a Gift

the lovin’ is easy. it’s getting there that’s hard

Now For Some Good News About Love (About Time!)

shall I put on a big act?

Voice Quality Counts, Too

Confirmation That I Was ‘Cured’

It Takes One to Spot One

section XII

shy no more

graduation day

From Frightened Rabbit to Bold Bunny

If you enjoyed Always in the Kitchen at Parties: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence, check out these other great Leil Lowndes titles.

notes

Cheryl’s Full Letter

more self-knowledge questions

references

acknowledgements

other books by