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Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Everything I Knew About Love as a Teenager
Boys
The Bad Date Diaries: Twelve Minutes
The Bad Party Chronicles: UCL Halls, New Year’s Eve 2006
A Hellraiser Heads to Leamington Spa
Recipe: Hangover Mac and Cheese
The Bad Date Diaries: A Hotel on a Main Road in Ealing
The Bad Party Chronicles: Cobham, New Year’s Eve 2007
Dear Anyone I’ve Ever Met and a Few People I’ve Never Met
Being a Bit Fat, Being a Bit Thin
Everything I Knew About Love at Twenty-One
Gooseberry Fool: My Life as a Third Wheel
Things I Am Scared Of
Being Björn Again
The Most Annoying Things People Say
The Uncool Girls of Uncool Camden
Recipe: The Seducer’s Sole Meunière
Dear Friends Who I Normally Only Ever Get Completely Leathered With
Recipe: Apple Pizza With Can’t Be Arsed Ice Cream
“Nothing Will Change”
The Bad Date Diaries: A £300 Restaurant Bill
The Bad Party Chronicles: My House in Camden, Christmas 2014
Recipe: Got Kicked Out of the Club Sandwich
The Bad Date Diaries: A Midmorning, Completely Sober Snog
Everything I Knew About Love at Twenty-Five
Reasons to Have a Boyfriend and Reasons Not to Have a Boyfriend
Tottenham Court Road and Ordering Shit Off Amazon
Dear All
Weekly Shopping List
Florence
Recipe: Scrambled Eggs
Texts That My Flatmate India Has Let Me Send Off Her Phone Pretending to Be Her
Hello Any Woman Emily Has Known for the Last Twenty-eight Years
My Therapist Says
Dear Dolly Something Alderton
Heartbreak Hotel
I Got Gurued
Good Morning to Karen’s Fertile and Barren Friends
Enough
Twenty-Eight Lessons Learned in Twenty-Eight Years
Homecoming
Everything I Know About Love at Twenty-Eight
Thirty
Recipe: Meltdown Birthday Cake
Everything I Know About Love at Thirty
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
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