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Sh t My Dad Says电子书

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作       者:Halpern, Justin

出  版  社:HarperCollins e-books

出版时间:2010-05-04

字       数:15.0万

所属分类: 进口书 > 外文原版书 > 文学/自传/回忆录

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  • 读书简介
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your leagueSon, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hairIt looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
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Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

Never Assume That Which You Do Not Know

A Man’s House Is His House

It’s Important to Behave Oneself

Do Not Be a Goddamned Liar

It’s Important to Know the Value of a Dollar

Not Everyone’s Balls Should Be Busted

Try Your Best, and When That’s Not Good Enough, Figure Something Out Quick

At the End of the Day, You Have to Make the Best Decision for Yourself

Confidence Is the Way to a Woman’s Heart, or at Least into Her Pants

Always Put Your Best Foot Forward

You Have to Believe You’re Worth a Damn

Focus on Living, Dying Is the Easy Part

Don’t Be So Quick to Buy into What Authority Prescribes

You Never Stop Worrying About Your Children

At the End of the Day, at Least You Have Family

Sometimes It’s Nice When People You Love Need You

You Have to Listen, and Don’t Ignore What You Hear

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Credits

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Books by Justin Halpern

Copyright

About the Publisher

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