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Dedication
Contents
Chapter 1 - Just Like Instant Cookie Mix, but Slightly More Expensive
Chapter 2 - I Thought He Was the Love of My Life . . . and He Thought I Was a Sock
Chapter 3 - Petty Thieves with Eating Disorders
Chapter 4 - Khaki Folders
Chapter 5 - Damaged Goods
Chapter 6 - This Is Like Zagat’s—No One Gets a Perfect Score
Chapter 7 - If You Can’t Join ’Em, Eavesdrop on ’Em
Chapter 8 - Leave It to Me to Stump Webster’s
Chapter 9 - The Bitch Stole My Snack Pack
Chapter 10 - I Put Her in My Phone as Crosby, Stills, and Nash
Chapter 11 - A Lobster Named Snappy
Chapter 12 - Beware of Guys Who Say You Look Like a Celebrity . . . They’re Either Lying or Have Cataracts
Chapter 13 - The Clam Jam
Chapter 14 - Vodka Is Everyone’s Favorite Orphan
Chapter 15 - Real Men Wear Pink
Chapter 16 - The Overfed Flamingo
Chapter 17 - Princess Leia Was a Whore
Chapter 18 - Wheel of Fortune for Single Girls
Chapter 19 - Cupid Clearly Hates Me
Chapter 20 - The Other Woman’s Other Woman
Chapter 21 - Holy Rollers Sit to the Right
Chapter 22 - Let’s Go Hammer Ourselves
Chapter 23 - It Doesn’t Count if You Have to Blow Them Up or Pay Them by the Hour
Chapter 24 - Renaissance Man
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Erin Duffy
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
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