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Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
Step 1: Are You A Victim?
Definitions of victim
If You Are A Victim…
A negative controller is someone who
Always Getting Your Own Way
Step 2: Does Fear Control You?
Frightening Someone into Submission
Controlling People, Situations and Outcomes
Shifting Blame from Yourself
Criticism
Intimidation
Step 3: How Do You Become A Victim?
Rewards for Being a Victim
Parental Behavior
Are you really a victim?
Step 4: Do You Want to Change?
Why Do You Want To Become A Survivor?
Indicators of Change: Victim to Survivor
Relationship Development
Commitment
Step 5: The Process of Change
Don’t React
What if this is as good as it gets?
Don’t Expect Anything from Anyone Else
Step 6: Being Realistic
Stay in the Here and Now
Staying in Reality
Staying Focused
Relationship goals
Step 7: Devising a Long-Term Strategy
Practical and Emotional Blocks
Ten Rules for good problem solving:
Essential Needs for Productive Problem Solving
Step 8: Devising a Short-Term Strategy
Realistic
Attainable
Measurable
Make One Small Change
Step 9: Observe, Consolidate & Review
Observe
Consolidate
Review
Positive outcomes after changing
Step 10: Continue the Strategy
Personal Power
Personal Power from What You Have Learned
“Victim” – A Poem
Appendix A: Bullying in the workplace
What Workplace Bullies Do
What Impact Does Bullying Have On You?
How do you spot a bully?
What Can You Do If You Are A Victim?
Appendix B: Emergency Contacts
Bibliography
Index
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