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Cover Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Introduction
What Is Social Anxiety (And How Do I Know if I Have It?)
Why Get Help?
How Can I Help?
How to Get the Most out of This Book
Born This Way? My Story
Contributing Factors: There Was More than One
Chapter 1 - Thoughts & Beliefs
The Two Prison Fences
Wanting Someone Else to Fix You
Acceptance without Judgment: I Stopped Beating Myself Up
You Should Stop Shoulding Yourself
I Focused More on the Solution (and Less on the Problem)
I Took My Power Back (The Victim Mentality)
“Hi I’m Tobi and I Aim to Please” (People Pleasing)
You Do You & I’ll Do Me (Some People Will Always Judge)
I Stopped Accepting Other People’s Opinions as Facts
Are You a People Pleaser and Approval Seeker?
Who Am I? (Get Clear on Exactly Who You Are)
Are You an Honest Person?
Why Do I Care So Much What Others Think of Me?
Are You a Mind Reader?
Perfectionism: I Let Go of My Need to Be Perfect
Accept Yourself (Flaws and All)
I Choose to Feel Good
Self-Love (I Learned How to Love Myself)
I Stopped Looking for My Worth Outside of Myself (Self-Love, Part 2)
Unhelpful Beliefs (Knock Out the Kingpins and the Rest Will Fall)
Reframing Negative Beliefs
The Deadly “I’m” Disease
Reminder: Remember What You’re Playing For
It’s Not the Event That Hurts: It’s the Meaning We Give to the Event
I Stopped Taking Things So Personally (Not Everything Is about Me)
Watch Your Mouth! (I Worked on My Self-Talk until My Worst Enemy Became My Best Friend)
Your Thoughts Are Not You
Predicting the Future (Worst-Case Scenario Thinking)
Introspection Checkpoint
The Man in the Mirror (Self-Image)
Self-Image Exercise
Visualization: The Blueprint to Becoming the Person You Want to Be
Visualization Exercise
I Remembered My Good Points and Wins
I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others
“Search Your Feelings, Luke.”
I Chose My Company More Wisely
Give Thanks & Give to Others
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
What to Do When You’re Feeling Anxious or Self-Conscious (This Is What I Did)
Irrational Fears
Fear of Death
Easier Said than Done
Summary
Chapter 2 - Actions & Exposure
Facing Your Social Fears
Introversion Isn’t a Weakness
Fear of Failure: Processing Failure and Rejection the Right Way
Things Will Be Different Now (You Have the Mental Tools)
You Need to Have a Strong Reason WHY
Confidence Comes from Practice
There Will Always Be Pain
The Uncomfortable Comfort Zone
Courage: The #1 Confidence Builder
Rationalizations & Excuses: Are You Lying to Yourself to Justify Your Avoidance Behaviors?
I Stopped Making Excuses
I Held Myself Accountable
Deathbed Exercise
Conversation Techniques & Social Skills
Social Confidence Building Exercises: Some of the Ways I Became More Social
Designing Your Own Social Exposure Plan
It Has to Be a Regular Thing
Take It in Baby Steps & Celebrate the Small Victories
I Let Go of the Outcome
You Win Some, You Lose Some—Either Way, People Don’t Care
We Learn by Doing
Keep Seeing the Big Picture—It’s a Gradual Process, Not an On- Off Switch
Summary
Chapter 3 - Healthy Diet
Lifestyle & Diet Play a Huge Part
Antidepressants
Xanax
Natural Antidepressants
Alcohol
Recreational Drugs
Healthy Eating
Chapter 4 - Lifestyle Choices
I Cut Out Stress from My Life
I Turned off the News and Stopped Reading Internet Comments
Exercise — I Went to the Gym
30 Minutes of Sunlight and Nature Every Day
I Decided to Work Fewer Hours
I Began Meditating Every Day
Living a Balanced Life
In Closing
Further Guidance
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