Four Seconds电子书

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

Part 1: Change Your Mental Defaults

1. Four Seconds: Pause. Breathe. Course Correct.

2. Why the Pinto Blew Up: Rethink Goal Setting

3. Byron’s Real Problem: Commit to Following Through

4. My First TEDx Talk: Ditch the Urge to Be Perfect

5. It Finally Felt Like Mine: Trust Yourself First

6. Nothing Helped My Tennis Elbow: Stand Back and Do Nothing

7. Everything Is Amazing and No One Is Happy: Accept Reality. Change Expectations.

8. The Value of Drinking Tea: Make Time for Rituals

9. Before Slipping the Kayak into the Water: Prepare Every Day

10. A Lesson from My Wireless Router: Reset Yourself

11. This Is What It Feels Like to . . .: Stop Performing. Start Experiencing.

12. “I Have No Time to Think”: Invest in Unfocused Focus

13. Why I Returned My iPad: Embrace Boredom

14. Dorit’s First-Grade Classroom: Ignore the Inner Critic

15. Carlos’s Double Whammy: Reclaim Your Sweet Spot

16. House Rock Rapid: Imagine the Worst

17. Turn the Boat Toward the Wind: Be Prepared with a Process, Not a Solution

Part 2: Strengthen Your Relationships

18. A Lesson from My Mother-in-Law: Prioritize Relationships

19. The Hardest Part Is After the Speech: Show People Who You Truly Are

20. He Broke Up with Her in a Text: Don’t Let the Package Distract You from the Message

21. I Want to Be Like You When I’m Seventy-Seven: Choose to Be Inspired by People

22. A Lesson from My Mother: Refuse to Write Someone Off

23. The Inescapable Parking Ticket: Walk Away from an Argument

24. Don’t Blame the Dog: Take the Blame Instead

25. Hardware Stores Don’t Sell Milk: Learn Other People’s Rules of Engagement

26. Sophia’s First Powder Day: Meet People Where They Are

27. It Was a Long Shot: Become a Great Receiver

28. A False Start Gets You Disqualified: Empathize First. Help Them Feel Better Later.

29. It’s Not About the Shampoo: Listen for the Unspoken

30. My Best Birthday Ever: Give the Gift of Appreciation

31. Getting a Free Upgrade to First Class: Appeal to People’s Generosity

32. Why Tim Didn’t Get the Promotion: Don’t Skip Your Thank-Yous

33. No: Establish Boundaries with Others

34. Towing Our Neighbor’s Son’s Car: Ask Questions. Don’t Attack Back.

Part 3: Optimize Your Work Habits

35. Hair Salon Leadership: Keep Your Cool

36. George Washington vs. Super Bowl I: See Individuals Individually

37. Complaining with Complainers: Neutralize Negativity

38. The Training Wheels Had to Come Off: Let People Fail—or Almost Fail

39. Are You Ready to Be a Leader?: Support Others’ Success

40. Who Deserves Credit for a Great Movie?: Share the Glory

41. The Chef Who Didn’t Get It: Take Responsibility for Your Colleagues’ Work

42. I’ve Got Too Much to Do . . .: Offer to Do Other People’s Work

43. The Day the Distribution Centers Were Full: Focus on Outcome, Not Process

44. Don’t Bet on Winning the Lottery: Zero In on What Matters to the Organization

45. Ron Drones On and On: Be Helpful Instead of Nice

46. “Actually, There Is Something . . .”: Accept the Gift of Criticism

47. Crying About a Gift: Create a Safe Space for Yourself and Others

48. I Don’t Miss a Thing: Stop Checking E-mail

49. The No-PowerPoint Rule: Embrace the Informal Meeting

50. The Pea Haters Who Ate Peas Like Pea Lovers: Tell Stories to Get Others to Change

51. How Jori Lost Eighty Pounds: Forget Willpower. Restructure Your Environment.

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Notes

Index

About the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher