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Lessons of Lifelong Intimacy电子书

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作       者:Michael Gurian

出  版  社:Atria Books

出版时间:2015-05-26

字       数:55.3万

所属分类: 进口书 > 外文原版书 > 励志自助/心灵

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  • 读书简介
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New York Times bestselling author Michael Gurian offers a groundbreaking plan for couples seeking to build a healthy relationship, work through past hurts, and create greater intimacy.Become separate from your partner yet also become closer—sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? With twenty-five years of family and marital counseling practice, Michael Gurian shows that “intimate separateness” is the key to creating a healthy partnership in life.
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Cover

Dedication

Epigraph

Introduction: The Surprising Secret of Love

The Counterintuitive Insight

Redefining Intimacy

Clinical Research in the Science of Love

Getting Started: Twenty Essential Questions

Essential Questions Survey 1: Assessing Your Present Relationship

Little Differences Have Big Consequences

Part I: The Secret to Real Love

Chapter 1: The Intimate Separateness Paradigm

Separateness and the Psychology of Attachment

The Angry Partner and the Anxious Partner

We Are Much Too Close but Don’t Realize It

Increasing Your Marital Intelligence with a New Lens

The Enmeshment/Abandonment Cycle

No-Fault Cycles and Rumination Distress

Recognizing and Embracing Your Crisis in Attachment

Essential Questions Survey 2: Are You Enmeshed?

Returning to the Secret

The Freedom to Love and Be Loved

Chapter 2: Becoming the Scientist of Your Own Marriage

Studying Conflict in the Relationships Around You

Essential Questions Survey 3: Studying Conflicts in Your Relationships, Family, or Workplace

Studying the Danger of Merging

When We Fall in Love

Separating and Disentangling Ourselves from Projections

Detachment at the Center of Love

Essential Questions Survey 4: How Do I Know If I Am Too Merged?

Instituting the Fourteen Free Passes Rule

The Joy of Separateness

Chapter 3: Relationship Wisdom from Both Women and Men

How Women and Men Love Differently

Looking at Brain-in-Love Differences

Analyzing Your Marriage

Love Between Two Brains

Essential Questions Survey 5: Where Do You Fit on the Gender Spectrum?

The Gift of Difference on the Gender Brain Spectrum

The Separateness Solution

The Courage to Choose Balanced Love

Chapter 4: Living All Twelve Stages of Love Successfully

Mapping the Stages of Love

Make This Your Model

A More Detailed Map

The Seven Stages of the Parent-Child Bond

Season 1: The Age of Romance

Season 2: The Age of Partnership

Season 3: The Age of Distinction

Season 4: The Age of Completion

Using the Power of Intimate Separateness in Each Stage

Essential Questions Survey 6: Getting at a Cause of Your Power Struggle

The Pro-Social Journey

Part II: Practicing the Art of Intimate Separateness

Chapter 5: Ending Power Struggle in Your Relationship

Are You in Power Struggle?

Sacrifices that Help End the Battle

Essential Questions Survey 7: Analyzing Your Separate, Non-Relational Sources of Power Struggle

Two New Tools for Ending Power Struggle

From Power Struggle to Intimate Separateness

Love as Personal Devotion

Chapter 6: Practicing Intimate Separateness for Life

Personality Patience, Intimate Separateness, and Attachment Security

Practicing Domain Security and Divisions of Labor

Essential Questions Survey 8: What Are Your Domains?

Practicing Equality, Not Sameness

Protecting Your Marriage

Chapter 7: The Powerful Lessons of Affairs and Infidelity

A Personal Story

The Gifts of Infidelity

Defining Terms: What Do You Mean by “Infidelity” or “Affairs”?

Essential Questions Survey 9, Part I: Defining Terms

Essential Questions Survey 9, Part II: Why You or Your Partner Might Be Unfaithful to a Spouse

The Separateness Solution from Different Viewpoints

The Gift of Separateness

Chapter 8: Busting Through the Myths of Marriage

Seeing the Signs of Trouble Early

Essential Questions Survey 10, Is Our Relationship in Trouble? Part I: Early Stages

Essential Questions Survey 10, Is Our Relationship in Trouble? Part II: Later Stages

A Balanced Approach to the Signs of Trouble

Removing Two Dangerous Myths from Millennial Relationship

Myth 1: Emotional Fulfillment and Divorce

Myth 2: Gender Stereotypes and Power Issues

The Wonder of Intimacy

Epilogue

Appendix I: Personality Mapping

Appendix II: The 9 Principles of a Balanced and Happy Relationship

Acknowledgments

About the Author

About the Gurian Institute

Notes and References

Bibliography

Index

Copyright

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