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Children Are from Heaven电子书

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254人正在读 | 0人评论 6.2

作       者:Gray, John

出  版  社:HarperCollins e-books

出版时间:2009-10-01

字       数:47.8万

所属分类: 进口书 > 外文原版书 > 法律/政治/宗教

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  • 读书简介
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This brilliantly original and practical system for parenting children is the brainchild of John Gray, whose Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus books and seminars have helped millions of adults communicate more effectively and lovingly with each other. Based on this idea that children respond better to positive rather than negative reinforcement, the Children Are from Heaven program concentrates on rewarding, not punishing, children and fostering their innate desire to please their parents.Central to this approach are the five positive messages your children need to learn again and again:It's okay to be different.It's okay to make mistakes.It's okay to express negative emotions.It's okay to want more.It's okay to say no, but remember Mom and Dad are the bosses.
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Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1

Every Child Has His or Her...

The Five Messages of Positive...

A Vision of Possibilities

Chapter 2

The Pressure of Parenting

Reinventing Parenting

A Short History of Parenting

Violence in, Violence out

Why Children Become Unruly...

A Global Shift in Consciousness

Chapter 3

Ask, but Don't Order or Demand

Use "Would You" And Not...

Give up Rhetorical Questions

Be Direct

Give up Explanations

Give up Giving Lectures

Don't Use Feelings to Manipulate

The Magic Word to Create...

A Short Review and Practice

What to Do When Children Resist

Chapter 4

Four Skills to Minimize Resistance

The Four Temperaments

Sensitive Children Need Listening...

Active Children Need Preparation...

Responsive Children Need Distraction...

The Gift of Singing

Making Chores Fun

The Gift of Reading

Using Distraction to Redirect

Receptive Children Need Ritual...

Loving Rituals

Practical Rituals

Giving Our Children What They...

Chapter 5

Why Children Resist

Taking Time to Listen

The Two Conditions

Hard-Love Parenting

Soft-Love Parenting

Learning to Delay Gratification

Meeting Your Children's Needs

Chapter 6

A Short Update on Punishment

Why and When Punishment Worked

The Positive Side of Punishment

The Simple Proof

The Alternative to Punishment Is...

The Two Reasons a Child Misbehaves

Why Giving Rewards Works

Negative Acknowledgments

Catching Your Child Being Good or...

The Magic of Rewards

Why Children Resist Our Direction

Understanding Rewards

Rewards According to Temperaments

Sample Rewards

Always Have Something up Your...

A List of Rewards

Recurring Patterns

Rewarding Teenagers

Dealing with a Demanding Child in...

Rewards Are Like Dessert

Learning from Natural Consequences

The Fear of Rewards

Chapter 7

Learning How to Command

Don't Use Emotions to Command

It's Okay to Make Mistakes

When Emotions Are not Helpful

Yelling Doesn't Work

Make Your Commands Positive

Command but Don't Explain

Commanding Teenagers

Reasons and Resistance

A Better Way of Commanding

Increasing Cooperation

Choosing Your Battles

Chapter 8

The Need for Time Out

How Negative Feelings Get Released

The Ideal Time Out

Explaining Time Outs

Four Common Mistakes

Too Much Time Out

Not Enough Time Out

Adjusting Your Will Versus Caving...

Expecting Your Child to Sit Quietly

Using Time Out as Punishment

Hugging Dad

When to Give Time Out

Three Strikes and You Are Out

When Time Out Doesn't Work

What Makes the Five Skills Work

Chapter 9

Gender Differences

Different Needs for Trust and Caring

Continuing to Trust and Care

Boys Are from Mars, Girls Are from...

Mr. Fix-It

Mrs. Home Improvement

When Advice Is Good

Boys Forget and Girls Remember

Different Generations

The Culture of Violence

Different Temperaments

How Temperaments Transform

Afternoon Activities

Different Body Types

Different Intelligence

Academic Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Physical Intelligence

Creative Intelligence

Artistic Intelligence

Common Sense Intelligence

Intuitive Intelligence

Gifted Intelligence

Different Speeds of Learning

Good Here but Not Good There

Comparing Children

Chapter 10

From Innocence to Responsibility

Whose Fault Is it Anyway?

Learning Responsibility

Hardwired to Self-Correct

Your Child's Learning Curve

Understanding Repetition

Learning from Mistakes

Learning to Make Amends

Don't Punish, Make Adjustments

How to React When Children Make...

Doing Your Best Is Good Enough

When it Is Not Okay to Make Mistakes

Hiding Mistakes and Not Telling...

Children of Divorced Parents

Not Setting High Standards or...

Justifying Mistakes or Blaming Others

Teens at Risk

Low Self-Esteem and Self-Punishment

Making it Okay to Make Mistakes

Chapter 11

The Importance of Managing Feelings

Learning to Manage Feelings

Coping with Loss

Why Expressing Emotion Helps

The Power of Empathy

The Five Second Pause

When Children Resist Empathy

When Parents Express Negative...

The Mistake of Sharing Feelings

Asking Children How They Feel

What You Suppress, Your Children...

The Black Sheep of the Family

Making Negative Emotions Okay

Chapter 12

The Fears About Desire

The Virtues of Gratitude

Permission to Negotiate

Learning to Say No

Ten Ways to Say No

Asking for More

Modeling How to Ask

The Power of Asking

Giving Too Much

Children Will Always Want More

Children of Divorced Parents

The Longing of the Human Spirit

Chapter 13

How Parents Affect Their Children

Coping with Negative Emotions

The Development of Cognitive...

Children's Need for Reassurance

Children Have a Different Memory

Coping with Increased Will

Balancing Freedom and Control

Two Problems of Losing Control

The Nine-Year Stages of Maturity

The Development of Responsibility

Understanding the Generation Line

Divorce and the Generation Line

Controlling Your Preteens and Teens

Using the Internet to Improve...

Getting Support from Other Parents

Chapter 14

Mothers and Daughters

Fathers and Daughters

Mothers and Sons

Fathers and Sons

Teens Secretly Appreciate Limits

What to Do When Your Child Takes...

Dealing with Disrespectful Language

Permission to Speak Freely

Making Decisions

The Cycles of Seven

Why Teens Rebel

Improving Communication with Teens

Respect Your Teen's Opinions

Sending Your Teen Away

Instead of "Don't" Use "I Want"

Asking Your Children What They...

The Challenge of Parenting

The Gifts of Greatness

About the Author

Books by John Gray

Copyright

About the Publisher

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