The Open Adoption Experience电子书

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

How to Use This Book

Part One - A Realistic Look at Open Adoption

1 The Reasons for Open Adoption

Why Confidential Adoptions Began

The Evolution to Open Adoption

2 Understanding Open Adoption

Competition with Birth Parents

Fear of Intrusion

Birth Parents’ Feelings

Concerns of the Extended Family

Semiopen Adoptions

Working Through Your Fears

The Grieving Process

Meeting New Challenges

Part Two - Moving Toward Open Adoption

3 Readiness for Open Adoption

Accepting and Understanding Adoption

4 Choosing Each Other

Finding Each Other

Meeting Each Other

Learning More About Each Other

Caution Signs

Making a Commitment

5 Getting to Know Each Other

The Birth Father and the Adoptive Parents

Extended Family

Difficult Situations Prior to Placement

Resolving Conflict

Sexual Overtones

The Importance of Support

Evaluating the Relationship

Making a Plan

Anticipating Feelings

Part Three - Birth and Placement

6 Before, During, and After the Birth

The Adoptive Parents’ Preparation

Birth Parents’ Readiness

Final Plans for Labor and Delivery

The Role of Extended Family

Working with the Hospital

Putting the Plan into Effect

After the Birth

Welcoming the Baby

Breastfeeding

Emotional Reactions

Naming the Baby

Interacting After the Birth

The Birth Father

Gifts

Reviewing the Decision

Difficult Birth, Birth Defects, Death of a Baby

An Entrustment Ceremony

Leaving the Hospital

7 Making an Adoption Plan After the Baby’s Birth

Risks in Last-Minute Adoptions

Making the Adoption Plan at the Hospital

Making a Plan Later

Making the Transition

Part Four - The Relationship Grows and Changes

8 The First Year After Placement

Making the Transition

Claiming the Child

Attachment

Entitlement

Coping with Grief

Letting Go

Renegotiating Openness

Change in Control

Disclosing Adoption

Birthdays, Holidays, and Special Occasions

Finalization and Moving On

9 The Open Adoption Relationship Unfolds: Beyond the First Year

Different Types of Relationships

Extended Family Members

10 Changes in Lives, Changes in Openness

Why Changes Occur

Adoptive Parents Who Don’t Honor the Agreement

Opening a Confidential or Semiopen Adoption

Changing the Open Adoption Relationship

Part Five - Children in Open Adoption

11 Growing Up in Open Adoption

The Child’s Relationship with the Birth Parents

Challenges to the Relationship

12 Children’s Questions and Concerns About Adoption

Infancy to Preschool

Preschool Through Kindergarten

The Middle Childhood Years (Ages Seven to Eleven)

Adolescence

Keeping Each Other Informed

When Information Is Not Available

Unreliable Information

Sharing Difficult Information

When Children Don’t Ask

13 Brothers and Sisters in Open Adoption

Before the Adoption

After Placement

Explaining the Adoption Plan Later

When Adoptions Become More Open

Relationships Between Siblings

Conflicting Parenting Styles

When Children Have Joined the Family in Different Ways

A New Baby

Abortion

A Child’s Right to Privacy

Helping Children Feel Comfortable

Part Six - Special Situations

14 When the Birth Parent Decides to Raise the Baby

Reasons that Plans Change

Making the Decision

Blocking the Reclaiming

The Transition

The Emotional Reactions of Adoptive Parents

The Role of Openness

The Birth Parents’ Feelings

The Next Step

Staying in Touch

15 Open Adoptions Within Families, with Older Child Placements, and in Other Situations

Older Child Placements

Kinship or Relative Adoption

Stepparent Adoption

Medically or Developmentally Challenged Children

Transracial Adoption

International Adoption

Surrogacy, Donor Insemination, and Technology-Assisted Conceptions

Getting Help

Afterword

Resources

References

Index

Acknowledgments

Other Books by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia

Copyright

About the Publisher