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The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me电子书

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作       者:Walter, Lisa Ann

出  版  社:HarperCollins e-books

出版时间:2011-05-01

字       数:30.5万

所属分类: 进口书 > 外文原版书 > 艺术/建筑/历史

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  • 读书简介
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Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of HollywoodThis hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the "celebrity adjacent" Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she'd kill for Richard Gere). She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime:Four words:Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don't even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you'll get free drinks! Always be seen with decrepit old men you'll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door.
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Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Contents

Introduction

Part One - The Self-Loathing Begins

Chapter 1 - Self-Loathing Is for Losers!!

Chapter 2 - Throwing the Gene Pool Dice: It Came Up Italian Pear-Shaped Peasant—I Crapped Out!

Chapter 3 - Weight Watchers—The Fairy Tale Begins!

Chapter 4 - College, Bulimia & Beer—What a Combo!

Chapter 5 - I Become a Mom—I Get Pregnant. And Get Married. To a Gay(-ish) Guy!

Chapter 6 - Being a Funny Chick—Not Such a Laughing Matter

Chapter 7 - My Career: Getting In—and Out—of Shape for Work

Chapter 8 - Actresses & Their Special Brand of Crazy: We’re Not Insane—We’re Just Hungry!

Chapter 9 - When Stars Jump the Shark

Chapter 10 - I’ve “Had a Little Help” Myself

Part Two - Self-Loathing—It Takes a Village

Chapter 11 - “I’m OK—You Need Lipo”

Chapter 12 - The Trauma of the Tween-age Girl

Chapter 13 - Women as Collaborators & Behavior Modification Rubber Band—FREE GIFT!

Chapter 14 - How Tabloids Sell Magazines—Spinning Hate into Profit

Chapter 15 - The “F” Factor

Chapter 16 - XXX Section: Sexy Is Part of Our Power Package

Part Three - Loving Your Big-Ass Life

Chapter 17 - How to Know That Your Snacky Ass Is Hot—Forever!

Chapter 18 - The Ridiculously Arbitrary Nature of Beauty

Chapter 19 - Crazy Diets & Exercise Trends

Chapter 20 - The Wide Weird World of Beauty: Nails, Hair, & Body Modification

Chapter 21 - Cougars Are the New Hot Asian

Chapter 22 - The Movement

Chapter 23 - How to Say No to the Self-Hate Pitch

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

About the Author

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

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