Love Parisienne: The French Woman’s Guide to Love and Passion电子书

Title Page

Copyright

Epigraph

Contents

Preface

Part 1: Fleeting Pleasures

To love or not to love?

I’ve forgotten how to hit on someone.

Where do you find him?

Know his habitat!

Dressing for the first date . . .

Quick, I need an outfit for tonight!

I met him at Les Bains nightclub. Can it work?

The tricky phone number question

He’s my boss! He’s as old as my father and even has the same first name.

He’s a bit of a loser.

He’s a star!

Public kisses

Private kisses

Sex on the first date?

He wanted to spank me!

How to undress

Undressing in style

Oh dear, he was useless in bed.

We slept together, and he doesn’t call.

He calls!

He sends dozens of texts but we never meet up.

Surprise, he’s returning to Buenos Aires tomorrow!

The first drink: Do I treat it like a job interview?

Parisian playlist

I drank too much and blurted everything out!

First dinner at your place—store-bought sushi or a good home-cooked meal?

Recipe ideas

He didn’t pick up the tab.

On paper it’s perfect—but there is a but . . .

To be honest, his body is really odd.

Where to get him a makeover

A naughty rendezvous?

Hotels for a five-to-seven

Strategy? Yes—but at the strategic moment!

He’s still on Tinder.

I messed up my sext.

All we do is make love.

Surprise! He’s married.

Should I tell him EVERYTHING?

Should you always follow your girlfriends’ advice?

Things are a bit chilly this week. Is he leaving me or just taking a breather?

Do you go for your opposite or your twin?

His best friend thinks that Paris was named after Paris Hilton.

How to go to the bathroom at his place

I think he really wants to leave me.

He doesn’t excite me anymore. How to end it?

Good places to end it

Being single is also a blast! Or, what to do when you are heartbroken . . .

The five best public benches to kiss on

Ick, he’s too clingy! Things are moving too fast! His messages are idiotic!

He’s wonderful . . . What if he’s the one?

Part 2: Encore! Encore! Still Together!

Help, he’s fantastic! I’m scared I’ll lose my freedom!

Who should call first? Are we still playing the game?

The nightclub, the opera, or the bookstore: your first outing as a couple

He has bizarre fantasies.

Sleeping at his place—negligee or naked?

Mini makeup bag

I’m scared his children won’t like me.

I can’t help it—I hate that he’s a periodontist!

My friends are his friends?

His mom adores me!

I’m so happy I’m putting on weight.

You have work problems, and he couldn’t give a damn.

Now he complains all the time.

Should we go on a weekend getaway?

He’s going to live in London—is it over?

He’s really wonderful! I’m terrified we’ll split up.

Should we talk during sex?

List of things we think are sexy but in fact aren’t at all

What if I’m not very good in bed?

Some evenings are not a blast.

He’s taking me skiing . . . and I don’t know how!

We always go out with friends. When do we get to see each other alone?

Where to go for impulse weekends away

I want to have his child.

Do I confess everything?

I’m afraid he’ll change me into someone else.

We’ve had our first argument. Is it serious?

Shall I call an ex to make him jealous?

It feels like it’s ending.

Should you show you’re jealous?

Since I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve felt ugly.

We’ve separated. Should I go back?

You’re single? These amazing women were too!

He’s still close with his ex-wife.

His politics are different!

I want to surprise him by waiting naked on the piano . . .

Small follies to surprise him with

He’s as silent as the grave.

He wants a Birkin bag too!

The first vacation

The Parisienne’s holiday bag

He thinks I smoke too much.

Oh dear, one of his buddies is your ex!

Should we celebrate Valentine’s Day?

He wants to live together . . . and so do I!

I want to marry him!

Part 3: Years of Happiness!

Our four hundredth dinner together

We didn’t go out this week, and nothing’s planned for next week. Are we stuck in a rut?

Ten ideas to liven up your evenings

We’ve had breakfast together for the past ten years. Where’s the mystery?

Farewell, mystery!

Feeling playful? Buy yourself a sex toy!

He hates my collection of flats.

Should I dress up on weekends?

Coming for a run, darling?

He still goes to a nightclub every Thursday.

Where to take him dancing

I don’t want to pick up his dirty boxers!

Do you keep count in love?

I was a sex goddess when I was pregnant, now I feel like a nun.

The first child: I’ve been hit by a tsunami!

His presents are great . . . once in a while.

Quickies are good, any time of day!

Am I dreaming, or has he turned into the nanny?

I admit it—I find him sexy on a scooter.

The other day I felt like screaming at him!

He wants the children to learn Chinese!

Keeping the children occupied? Follow the guide!

Oh dear, the nanny is stunning!

I want to cheat on him.

Damn, I’ve cheated on him!

I think I’m dreaming of a house in the suburbs.

Paris in your bag!

Sometimes I’m scared we’re drifting apart.

Give yourself some luxury bubbles.

It’s awful. I want him to do what I say!

He wants me to get my breasts done.

He looks more and more like George Clooney.

How to look good at forty

I’m fed up tonight. Am I fed up with the relationship?

We’re so busy, we don’t even have time to argue!

Who should take the first step to make up?

How can I keep desiring him, after all these nights?

Ten things to invite into your bed

I feel like I’m turning into my mother.

Easy family destinations

He dreams of becoming a DJ.

Is it strange I’m so happy all the time?

Using strategy is fine at the beginning . . . but afterward?

He’s suddenly a pro at wild new sex positions. Is he cheating on me?

Just the two of us?

Famous couples who march to the beat of their own drum

All our friends are getting divorced. What about us?

Test: Do you still love him?

He’s cheating on me. Is it over?

We’ve been together twenty years, and I’m crazier about him every day. Am I soft in the head?

Can you fall back in love with the same man?

Epilogue: We Didn’t Agree On Everything.

Thanks

The Authors

The Illustrator

About the Publisher