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Who Stole the Funny?
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A Hollywood insider draws from his four decades of experience to create a scathingly brilliant and caustically comedic bird's-eye view behind the scenes of comedy television.A wickedly delicious roman-a-clef about the making of a sitcom called My Urban Buddies, this satirical romp of a novel portrays life on the other side of the television lens, hilariously sending up self-serious Hollywood stereotypes across the board.Programmed-for-success director J. T. Baker has to bring an up-and-coming sitcom to fruition after its initial director shoots himself in the head with a nail gun. Comically annotated with helpful and enlightening Hollywood glossary terms ("Creative-type director: One who has no hope of working in this town again"; "Eccentric: Affecting a style of dress, coiffure, speech, mannerisms, etc., carefully calculated to give the impression of creative credibility"), Benson creates an exaggerated world of crazy writers; backstabbing executives, agents, and producers; foul-mouthed everyone-elses; and hardcore cynics—and the ridiculous inner monologues behind them.
Bad Monkeys
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Jane Charlotte has been arrested for murder. She tells police that she is a member of a secret organization devoted to fighting evil; her division is called the Department for the Final Disposition of Irredeemable Persons—"Bad Monkeys" for short.This confession earns Jane a trip to the jail's psychiatric wing, where a doctor attempts to determine whether she is lying, crazy—or playing a different game altogether. What follows is one of the most clever and gripping novels you'll ever read.
Names I Call My Sister
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Four stories of sisterhood—the bonds, the wars, the frustrations, the love—seasoned with hot Latin spice! Those "Wild Orihuela Girls," Dori and her sister Sela, intend to live up to their reputation—and more!—in order to give their snooty sister-in-law-to-be exactly what she deserves on her wedding day . . . Till Death Do Us Part by Mary Castillo Anita Suarez is only seeking comfort after losing her dream job and carefree lifestyle, but finds that her old-fashioned sister Susana has abandoned her family to run off to Sin City with a college hunk. Now it's up to Anita to bring Susu back to reality and keep the younger man's sexy big brother at bay . . . What Stays in Vegas by Berta Platas Michelle Saez is a total straight-arrow by day—but at night, she lives a shocking double life in leather as Madame Michelina. And her scandalous secret could very well derail her attorney sister Jennifer's bid for elected office . . . Whipped by Sofia Quintero Popular talk-radio queen Marisol Avila can't keep her mouth shut—and she's airing her sister Cristy's dirty laundry to millions of listeners nationwide. It's going to take more than Cristy's unwanted fifteen minutes of fame to repair this sisterly rift and re-connect siblings who are seriously . . . Diss-Connected by Lynda Sandoval
I Take This Man
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Here comes the bride . . . there goes the groom.Penny Bracket waited two years to marry dream man Bram Shiraz. Then on the morning of the Big Day, while she's trying on her veil, Penny receives the worst two-line letter of her life: "Penny, I can't go through with it. Sorry, Bram."Penny's hurt and upset. But Esther, Penny's divorced mom, wants Bram's head on a platter. So Mom ambushes the cold-footed coward before he hot-foots it out of town, bonks him on the head with a champagne bottle, and spirits him away to a hidden room in her gargantuan mansion in Short Hares, New Jersey. Esther doesn't want much. All Bram has to do is write personal, heartfelt apologies to each of the two hundred disappointed wedding guests . . . and eat every mouthful of the very expensive gourmet wedding feast that has gone to waste. Then he'll be free to leave.Penny doesn't want Bram tortured. She just wants answers to "why" . . . and maybe a little revenge. Will she discover her runaway groom is locked away in the atticWill Bram's widowed father—handsome tough-guy Keith Shiraz—be able to locate his missing son . . . and maybe seduce Esther Bracket in the bargainWill Bram be able to maintain his athletic figure after consuming two hundred entrées and thousands of baby quichesRead on!
No Girl Needs a Husband Seven Days a Week
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A husband can be good for a number of things:Companionship (when he's home)Household repairs (if he's handy)Good loving (if you're lucky), but . . . no girl needs a husband seven days a week!Marie needs her "stay-at-home husband" to clean the house and babysit the kids, so she can take care of business coast-to-coast . . . and enjoy some harmless flirting on the side.Mai's perfectly content to be the perfect wife to a successful corporate superstar—throwing lavish parties and organizing gala charity fundraisers. But it's funny how quickly everything can change with just a single phone call . . . from prison!And high-powered ad exec Kennedy believes the best husband is no husband at all. Hot encounters with a succession of studs keep her going strong as she climbs to the top of her profession.A spouse is fine as long as he doesn't screw up the rest of your life. Now three lovely ladies who think they have this "husband" thing all worked out are about to learn that, when it comes to love and marriage, "perfection" can always be improved upon. And it's going to be one wild ride!
Ask Again Later
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Emily has a tendency to live with one foot out the door. For her, the best thing about a family crisis is the excuse to cut and run. When her mother dramatically announces they've found a lump, Emily gladly takes a rain check on life to be by her mother's side, leaving behind her career, her boyfriend, and those pesky, unanswerable questions about who she is and what she's doing with her life. But back in her childhood bedroom, Emily realizes that she hasn't run fast or far enough. One evening, while her mother calls everyone in her Rolodex to brief them on her medical crisis and schedule a farewell martini, Emily opens the door, quite literally, to find her past staring her in the face. How do you forge a relationship with the father who left when you were five years oldAs Emily attempts to find balance on the emotional seesaw of her life, with the help of two hopeful suitors and her Park Avenue Princess sister, she takes a no-risk job as a receptionist at her father's law firm and slowly gets to know the man she once pretended was dead. From the brainy, breezy writer who "writes like a professional comic" (The Onion) and is "hard to stop reading once you start" (USA Today) comes a laugh-out-loud tale that confirms you can recover from your parents, the bad habit of missed opportunities, and men who romance you with meat. When opportunity knocks, it's time to stop running and start living.
The Art of Social War
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New York career woman Stacey Knight marries James Makepeace just as she learns he's been offered the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to run a major Hollywood studio. There's one catch: they must relocate to Los Angeles. Will Stacey be lost in translation, or will her hard-earned New Yawk survival skills prove yet again, as Ol' Blue Eyes so often said, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere?The unwitting newlyweds land in a Technicolor high-stakes Social War, pursued by ruthless power brokers in the film demimonde. What's a girl to do when the promise of a glittering blockbuster future descends rapidly into film noir despairAt once seduced and repelled by the rigid caste system and predatory aspect of Hollywood life, Stacey navigates a sea of confusing social obstacles and extremely bad behavior. Empowered by 2,500-year-old military strategist Sun Tzu's The Art of War, Stacey takes control of the War Game and learns that they must adapt to survive and attack if they are to thrive.
Story of General Dann and Mara's Daughter, Griot and the Snow Dog
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Dann is grown up now, hunting for knowledge and despondent over the inadequacies of his civilization. With his trusted companions—Mara's daughter, his hope for the future; the abandoned child-soldier Griot, who discovers the meaning of love and the ability to sing stories; and the snow dog, a faithful friend who brings him back from the depths of despair—Dann embarks on a strange and captivating adventure in a suddenly colder, more watery climate in the north.
Some Nerve
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Thirty-year-old Celebrity journalist Ann Roth has one last chance to prove herself. She is different from the other reporters at Famous, the L.A. magazine, where she has her dream job interviewing stars like Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie. She values her ethics—she doesn't pick through people's garbage, doesn't print rumor and gossip, doesn't try to pervert the truth. But when her editor tells her she's too nice, that what he needs is a killer journalist who'll do whatever it takes to get a story, she realizes that she must do something drastic. Of course, her plan backfires. Not only does she fail to score an interview with the notoriously media-averse actor Malcolm Goddard (he'll only do the interview while piloting his Cessna and she has a terrible fear of flying), she gets fired. Her disappointment turns to rage when she learns that Malcolm knew about her phobia all along. He insisted on doing the interview on his plane just to get her off his back. Hurt, disappointed, not to mention unemployed, she trudges to her tiny hometown in Missouri to try to regroup, vowing to cure herself of her fears and reclaim her career. And suddenly her life takes a surprising twist: Ann hears that the great Malcolm himself is in Middletown as a patient at the local hospital—under an alias. Opportunity knocks. Ann sees a chance for payback and her ticket out of Missouri. She volunteers at the hospital with the sole intention of pretending to befriend Malcolm in order to worm the story of a lifetime out of him without his knowledge. If she writes it, she'll have her job back and prove she's the killer journalist her editor had wanted her to be. But after facing her fear of falling in love, how much is she willing to risk for her career?
Jump at the Sun
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After a series of stressful personal transitions, Grace Jefferson finds herself in a new house in a new city and in a new career for which she feels dangerously unsuited: a stay-at-home mom. An educated and accomplished modern woman, a child of the Civil Rights dream, she is caught between the only two models of mothering she has ever known—a sharecropping grandmother who abandoned her children to save herself and a mother who sacrificed all to save her kids—as she struggles to find a middle ground. But as the days pass and the pressures mount, Grace begins to catch herself in small acts of abandonment that she fears may foretell a future she is powerless to prevent . . . or perhaps secretly seeks. Jump at the Sun is a novel about an isolating suburban life and the continuing legacy of slavery, about generational change and the price of living the dream for which our parents fought. In her bold and fearless voice, Kim McLarin explores both the highs and lows of being a mother, and how breaking the cycle of suffocation and regret, while infuriatingly difficult, is absolutely necessary.
Temporary Insanity
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Meet Alice Finnegan: thirty-something, single and determined to take control of her own destiny ... even if she is stuck in a series of secretarial temp jobs and living with her beloved ninety-year-old grandmother -- a feisty, funny, former Ziegfeld showgirl. But that's easier said than done when your job counselor can't spell "employment" correctly, your boss has you planning her daughter's wedding, your new boyfriend cares more about his career than caresses, and your dreams of stardom are dashed when a hotshot casting director suggests you get your nose fixed -- and you already have. But even as it seems that Alice's world has gone crazy, and she succumbs to a Mr. Right who turns into a Mr. Not Right Now, she knows that any insanity is only temporary ...
32AA
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Emma Taylor wanted an engagement ring and a job promotion for her thirtieth birthday.What she got instead was the boot from herboyfriend, the heave-ho from his Manhattanloft -- and the indignity of having to work forthe weenie who stole her position. Her palsonly add insult to injury by giving her the "perfect" birthday gift: a bottle ofbreast-enhancing pills. It would be enough to defeat even a well-endowed woman, but Emma's notabout to let such twists of fate get her down, even as she sets out on the most grueling task known to humankind: apartment hunting in New York City. But sleeping in the backseat of her car provides an unexpected bonus -- she meets Jack, who's kind enough to invite Emma into his home ... in a strictly landlord/tenant-type of arrangement, of course. Perhaps things are looking up -- since honestly they couldn't get much worse. Emma may not be able to fill a bikini, but she's going to do that "life and love" thing right this time. Because no matter what else destiny throws in her face, she's determined to come out where she never has before ... on top!
Pride and Pinstripes
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More than a star pitcher and accomplished coach, Mel Stottlemyre has a history that serves as a behind-the-scenes tour of five decades of baseball. From Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford to Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry to Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, Stottlemyre connected generations of stars during a remarkable career.In his long-awaited autobiography, Stottlemyre tells his story in colorful detail, from his days as a rookie sensation on the last of the great Mantle teams to those as trusted pitching coach during the Joe Torre administration. Along the way he takes readers inside the clubhouses of champions describing the defiance of the '86 Mets, from manager Davey Johnson on down, and recalling the true grit and selflessness that helped make Torre's Yankees a dynasty from 1996 to 2000.
The Lost Fleet
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On January 2, 1678, a fleet of French ships sank off the Venezuelan coast. This proved disastrous for French naval power in the region, and sparked the rise of a golden age of piracy.Tracing the lives of fabled pirates like the Chevalier de Grammont, Nikolaas Van Hoorn, Thomas Paine, and Jean Comte d'Estres, The Lost Fleet portrays a dark age, when the outcasts of European society formed a democracy of buccaneers, settling on a string of islands off the African coast. From there, the pirates haunted the world's oceans, wreaking havoc on the settlements along the Spanish mainland and -- often enlisted by French and English governments -- sacking ships, ports, and coastal towns.More than three hundred years later, writer, explorer, and deep-sea diver Barry Clifford follows the pirates' destructive wake back to Venezuela. With the help of a lost map, drawn by the captain of the lost French fleet, Clifford locates the site of the disaster and wreckage of the once-mighty armada.
Jackpot Nation
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Is this a great country or whatYou can bet on the turn of the card or a roll of the dice, but also on the NFL, the NCAA, and which Olsen twin marries first. We bet $80 billion a year, the amount growing wildly as more and more people gain access to this huge American wheel of fortune. No longer quarantined in Las Vegas, gambling has become as local and convenient as our neighborhood cineplex. If there's not a casino around the corner, there's one on your laptop computer.In Jackpot Nation, Richard Hoffer takes us on a headlong tour, alternately horrifying and hilarious, across our landscape of luck. Whether he's trying to win a side of bacon in a Minnesota bar, hustling a paper sack filled with $100,000 in cash across Las Vegas parking lots, poring over expansion plans with a tribal chief in California, or visiting the New York prison cell of a retired bus salesman with a poor understanding of three-game parlays, Hoffer explores with wit and heart our national inclination a cultural predisposition, even to take a chance.
Everything Is Going to Be Great
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When she lands a coveted nonpaying, nonspeaking role in a play going on a European tour, Rachel Shukert with a brand-new degree in acting from NYU and no money finally scores her big break. And, after a fluke at customs in Vienna, she gets her golden ticket: an unstamped passport, giving her free rein to find herself on a grand tour of Europe. Traveling from Vienna to Zurich to Amsterdam, Rachel bounces through complicated relationships, drunken mishaps, miscommunication, and the reality-adjusting culture shock that every twentysomething faces when sent off to negotiate "the real world" whatever that may be.
Ask Me Again Tomorrow
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From her fame as the Oscar-winning actress who uttered the famous line in Moonstruck, "I know who I am," to her lauded role as Mrs. Madrigal, the landlord of indeterminate gender in Tales of the City, to being the cousin of Michael Dukakis, presidential candidate, Olympia Dukakis has captured the imagination of a broad audience. Known for her straightforward talk, her lack of pretension, and her ongoing quest to explore ever more aspects of herself and her art, she is a role model for women of all ages.Olympia Dukakis's role in Moonstruck made her a household name, but before that overnight success came twenty-eight years of hard work. For nineteen of those years, she was an integral part of running the Whole Theatre Company in Montclair, New Jersey, while she and her husband raised their three children. She managed to "have it all" -- career, family, home -- before having it all became fashionable.
If Football's a Religion, Why Don't We Have a Prayer?
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The last time a Philadelphia professional sports team won a championship, Ronald Reagan was in the White House and Return of the Jedi was number one at the box office. No city with all four major sports has gone longer without one. The local NFL franchise, the Eagles, has not won a title since 1960, putting its devoted fans through decades of futility and heartbreak.Peppered with riotous anecdotes about the grandstand brawlers and football lunatics who make Philadelphia one of the most entertaining places in America to watch a game, If Football's a Religion, Why Don't We Have a Prayeris the hilarious day-by-day account of the operatic passion of Eagles fans in the buildup to the team's first Super Bowl appearance since 1981. With outrageous detail and beer-on-your-shoes reporting, New York Times sportswriter and longtime Philly resident Jere Longman reveals what happens when the losingest sports town in America finally has a shot at winning it all.
Five Fortunes
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Witty, wise, and hope-filled, Five Fortunes is a large-hearted tale of five vivid and unforgettable women who know where they've been but have no idea where they're going. A lively octogenarian, a private investigator, a mother and daughter with an unresolved past, and a recently widowed politician's wife share little else except a thirst for new dreams, but after a week at the luxurious health spa known as "Fat Chance" their lives will be intertwined in ways they couldn't have imagined. At a place where doctors, lawyers, spoiled housewives, movie stars, and captains of industry are stripped of the social markers that keep them from really seeing one another, unexpected friendships emerge, reminding us of the close links between the rich and the poor, fortune and misfortune, and the magic of chance.
The Lightning Rule
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They say lightning never strikes the same spot twice. Detective Martin Emmett is about to prove the exception to the rule. It is the summer of 1967 and a heat wave is bringing Newark, New Jersey's simmering racial tensions to a boiling point. Banished to desk duty, his career on the line, Emmett is offered a chance at professional redemption if he can quickly and quietly solve the murder of a black teenage boy whose mutilated body has been found in a subway tunnel. But Emmett discovers that the teen is a victim of a sadistic predator who abducts boys to use as prey in a twisted game of cat and mouse. While the riots engulf Newark, crippling the city with chaos, Emmett must track down the killer before the next hunt begins.
The Real Thing
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The stories and sketches in this collection penetrate to the heart of human experience with the passion and intelligence readers have come to expect of Doris Lessing. Most of the piece are set in contemporary London, a city the author loves for its variety, its diversity, its transitoriness, the way it connects the life of animals and birds in the parks to the streets. Lessing's fiction also explores the darker corners of relationships between women and men, as in the rich and emotionally complex title story, in which she uncovers a more parlous reality behind the facade of the most conventional relationship between the sexes.
