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Coming Back To Me: The Autobiography of Marcus Trescothick
￥72.40
A true-life sporting memoir of one of the best batsman in the game who stunned the cricket world when he prematurely ended his own England career. Trescothick’s brave and soul-baring account of his mental frailties opens the way to a better understanding of the unique pressures experienced by modern-day professional sportsmen. At 29, Marcus Trescothick was widely regarded as one of the batting greats. With more than 5,000 Test runs to his name and a 2005 Ashes hero, some were predicting this gentle West Country cricket nut might even surpass Graham Gooch's record to become England's highest ever Test run scorer. But the next time Trescothick hit the headlines it was for reasons no one but a handful of close friends and colleagues could have foreseen. On Saturday 25 February 2006, four days before leading England into the first Test against India in place of the injured captain Vaughan, Trescothick was out for 32 in the second innings of the final warm-up match. As he walked from the field he fought to calm the emotional storm that was raging inside him, at least to hide it from prying eyes. In the dressing room he broke down in tears, overwhelmed by a blur of anguish, uncertainty and sadness he had been keeping at bay for longer than he knew. Within hours England's best batsman was on the next flight home. His departure was kept secret until after close of play when coach Duncan Fletcher told the stunned media his acting captain had quit the tour for 'personal, family reasons.' Until now, the full, extraordinary story of what happened that day and why, of what preceded his breakdown has never been told. He reveals for the first time that he almost flew home from the 2004 tour to South Africa – of what caused it and of what followed – his comeback to the England side and a second crushing breakdown nine months later that left him unable to continue the 2006-07 Ashes tour down under. Coming Back to Me will replace the myths and rumours with the truth as Trescothick talks with engaging openness and enthusiasm about his rise to the top of international cricket; and describes with equal frankness his tortured descent into private despair.
The Year of Magical Thinking
￥66.22
From one of America's iconic writers, a portrait of a marriage and a life – in good times and bad – that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child. A stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Several days before Christmas 2003, John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion saw their only daughter, Quintana, fall ill. At first they thought it was flu, then pneumonia, then complete sceptic shock. She was put into an induced coma and placed on life support. Days later – the night before New Year’s Eve –the Dunnes were just sitting down to dinner after visiting the hospital when John suffered a massive and fatal coronary. In a second, this close, symbiotic partnership of 40 years was over. Four weeks later, their daughter pulled through. Two months after that, arriving at LA airport, she collapsed and underwent six hours of brain surgery at UCLA Medical Centre to relieve a massive hematoma. This powerful book is Didion’s ‘attempt to make sense of the weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I ever had about death, about illness … about marriage and children and memory … about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself’. The result is an exploration of an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage, and a life, in good times and bad.
Imran Khan: The Cricketer, The Celebrity, The Politician
￥147.35
The definitive biography of Imran Khan, the former Pakistan cricket captain and all-rounder – the Oxbridge graduate and vociferous campaigner; the devout Muslim whose kaleidoscopic social life flooded the gossip columns; the man who raised $60 million for cancer research and who is now one of the most important political figures in Pakistan. On one thing, Imran Khan’s friends and enemies agree: it all began with the leopard print satin trousers. In November 1974, the Cricketer International published an article about the new elite group of young talented players, ‘into concepts like fashion and pop music’, and bent on challenging cricket’s eternal stereotypes. Of the five featured stars on the cover, a superbly hirsute 21-year-old wearing a tight black shirt and gaudy trousers, with a facial expression of supreme self-confidence, stood out. Imran Khan has always been a controversial figure, a man who gives rise to hot debate on account of his strong conviction and hard line views. From his achievements on the cricket field as the Pakistan captain who captured the World Cup and the game’s best all-rounder in history, through to his racy social life – the practising Muslim boogieing on the dancefloor of Annabel’s, ‘an astonishing lovemaker’, according to one overnight partner, praised by Diana Princess of Wales, close friend to his then wife Jemima Goldsmith, as a ‘devoted husband’ – the Imran story is full of colour and contradictions. Acclaimed biographer Christopher Sandford has approached a richly varied cast list of Imran associates past and present – from Geoff Boycott, Javed Miandad, Mike Brearley, David Gower and John Major through to Nelson Mandela and close acquaintances male and female such as Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, John Major, Keith Richards, sources close to the late Princess of Wales and Pakistan’s General Musharraf. Imran Khan himself has agreed to be interviewed for the book and given Sandford exclusive access to his inner sanctum.
Mummy Knew
￥63.77
Four-year-old Lisa's world turned upside down when her step-father moved in. Most of the time he was just violent but then he started making her do things to him she knew were wrong. Soon he was visiting her at night. Lisa begged her mother for help but she just shrugged, telling Lisa he would have his way. It was the greatest betrayal of all. At first Lisa's step-father would just make her stroke and massage his feet, hitting her if she stopped, but he soon wanted more. Much more. By the time she was 12 he was regularly abusing her. One day, when Lisa turned 16, she came home to discover that her mother had swapped bedrooms with her. 'You're my girlfriend now', her step-father told her. Lisa turned to her mother for help, but was met with a shrug. She wouldn't hear a word against her husband. 'Don't blame me,' she said. Her step-father's abuse was horrific but what completely tore her apart was knowing her mother knew and encouraged it. Trapped and increasingly desperate, Lisa tried to find a way out. But her isolation was complete. A few months later her mother told her she'd arranged for Lisa and her step-father to move into a flat together down the road. It was too much for Lisa to bear. 'Please don't make me, please,' she sobbed. But her mother just ignored her. Lisa was marched around to the flat with her possessions and her nightmare was complete. Alone with her step-father, Lisa's life became even more unbearable. Then one day, finally, she got the chance she'd been looking for to escape. Lisa bravely struck out on her own, petrified her mother would find her and hand her back into the waiting arms of her step-father. But Lisa's mother had no idea how determined she was to break away…
Helpless
￥45.62
Neglected by her careless parents, Marianne turned to her neighbour, the one person that she thought she could trust…. Eight year old Marianne, the eldest of five children, was neglected by her slovenly mother and her violent alcoholic father. Uncared for and unkempt she was rejected at school by her peers and scarcely tolerated by her teachers. Only one person gave her the affection she craved; a neighbour who seeing the vulnerable child knew she was easy prey for his perverted desires. ‘Little Lady’ he called her over the few months he groomed her. Less than twelve months later she was caught in a trap of fear - if she talked she would be punished. With no one to turn to she kept ‘their secret’. At thirteen she fell pregnant. Still too frightened to speak out she refused to tell the social workers who the father was. Without family support the teenager gave birth to a daughter in the unmarried mother's home. Six weeks later the baby she had already grown to love was taken away for adoption. Marianne returned home, but the neighbour's abuse continued and a year later she was pregnant again. This time her father literally tried to beat the baby out of her but she failed to miscarry. Scared for her life and that of her baby's she ran away from home carrying only a plastic bag stuffed with her few possessions. Marianne who still missed her first child desperately struggled to keep her second daughter. Two months after the birth she realized that for the baby's sake she would have to hand her over for adoption. Helpless is Marianne’s heartbreaking story as told the bestselling author of Don’t Tell Mummy.
Never Say Die
￥54.25
On a Saturday morning in May 1980, Melanie Bowen, a pretty fifteen year old, ran down the stairs of her parents’ home in Port Talbot, grabbed her leather jacket and crash helmet, yelled a goodbye, and then walked out of the front door into the sunshine for what was to be the last time in her life. Never Say Die is the true story of what followed… Since the motorcycle crash that left her paralysed from the chest down, Melanie's life has been one of extremes. On the down side, she has endured 5 horrific months of despair and indignity in rehabilitation, undergone a colostomy at 23, been in another serious car crash, suffered syringomyelia and the terrifying prospect of full quadriplegia, been diagnosed with breast cancer and broken several bones. On the plus side, however, she's won medals in athletics for Wales, been humbled and inspired by Falklands veterans at RAF Chessington, raised thousands for charity, become a major disability poster girl in America, dabbled with the film world and been screen tested for a movie, met the Queen, and set up her own rehabilitation charity, whose patrons include the acclaimed actor Michael Sheen, Dame Tanni Grey Thompson and former Welsh Rugby captain, Gwyn Jones. She has also, against all the odds, found lasting happiness, having fallen in love with and married the surgeon who 25 years earlier told her she would never walk again.
Fab: An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney
￥80.25
The living embodiment of The Beatles and a musical juggernaut without parallel, Paul McCartney is undoubtedly the patriarch of pop. In this authoritative biography, acclaimed author and journalist Howard Sounes creates the most accurate and extensive profile of McCartney ever built, leaving no stone unturned, and no shadow unexplored. He is the torch-bearer of the Beatles – the greatest band in pop – and one of the most closely studied stars in show business. But surprises and secrets still linger in the life of Sir Paul McCartney. In FAB, his full story is told for the first time. Acclaimed author Howard Sounes spent more than two years investigating every aspect of Sir Paul’s life and work, including interviewing over 200 people. The result is the richest and more comprehensive biography of McCartney ever written. Uniquely, FAB pays equal attention to the story of Paul McCartney both in the Beatles and post-Beatles, creating a unique narrative spanning the arc of the artist’s life. FAB culminates in the sensational human story of Sir Paul’s calamitous marriage to Heather Mills, which is fully revealed for the first time. Sounes proves a judicious critic of the music of an iconic star while also delivering a superb psychological portrait of the man.
Aggers’ Ashes
￥146.27
An inside account of England’s Ashes triumph in Australia 2010/11. England’s much celebrated Ashes win by two clear matches with three comprehensive innings victories must rank as one of the finest of any English cricket team from any era. It kept people at home glued to their televisions, computers and radios – often all three at the same time – long into the night as the bitter winter and a depressed economy were forced into the background by the sheer joy and exhilaration of giving the old enemy a trouncing. It had been twenty-two years since a touring side won three Tests in Australia and twenty-four since the Ashes were last won on Australian soil. The current England team bears worthy comparison with some of the legendary teams of the past, captained by greats like Brearley, Hutton and Jardine. Andrew Strauss with back-to-back Ashes wins can now sit amongst that illustrious company. From the first ball of the tour in Perth to a closing rendition of the infamous ‘Sprinkler Dance’ on the outfield in Sydney some two months later – a clip that received some 250,000 hits in just three days – one person was there throughout, BBC Cricket Correspondent Jonathan Agnew, better known to his legion of Test Match Special fans as ‘Aggers’. Following the success of his last book Thanks, Johnners, Agnew has written a highly personal diary of his experiences in Australia. Whether he is sharing late night conversations in the bar with England coach Andy Flower, exchanging banter with new TMS recruit Michael Vaughan or keeping cricket junkies around the world sated with his daily Twitter feed, Aggers brings his unique sense of theatre and excitement to every day’s proceedings. With additional contributions from the best BBC cricket bloggers and the resident TMS statistician, Aggers Ashes is the only companion you will need to relive those glorious days when history was made Down Under.
Collected Love Poems
￥80.25
Of all the poets writing today, Brian Patten is perhaps the most accessible and popular. Now his love poems, old and new, are collected together in his single volume. Widely acknowledged as one of Europe's foremost writers, Brian Patten's love poems have earned him recognition far and wide. Truthful and tender, profoundly aware of the possibility of magic and the miraculous, these poems are beautiful, informed and, even at their darkest moments, filled with courage and hope. Alongside old favourites, this edition will contain a selection of new and hitherto unpublished poems. A must for lovers and poetry lovers everywhere this February.
Living with the Laird: A Love Affair with a Man and his Mansion
￥72.99
A captivating memoir of one woman’s relationship with a man and his mansion. When Belinda Rathbone, a New York art historian, met eccentric Anglo-Scots bachelor John Ouchterlony it was the start of a story of clashing cultures and crumbling houses. After a whirlwind romance she married the man – and his 400 acre estate and decrepit mansion in Scotland. In her charming and moving account of their time together she reveals her many discoveries about this strange world – not just the persistence of lino, and family history ancient and recent, but the value of dead elms, the art of the Aga, yoga with the aristocracy, and the vitally important business of producing an heir…
London Born: A Memoir of a Forgotten City
￥81.03
An extraordinary memoir from a man in his nineties who remembers everyday life in a North London now long gone: the hardships and deprivations of a life of poverty but also the resourcefulness and fortitude of a community determined to survive between the wars. 'When I look back, I can picture the old gels chinwagging on their steps in the Bay like it was yesterday. Little did they think that young Sid, passing by with his arse out of his trousers, would one way publish his memoirs!' 'Ordinary' people do not write their stories, believing their lives to be unremarkable. Some, like Sid, cannot write at all. But, with the aid of his granddaughter Helen Day, Sid has produced an extraordinary memoir of a city and a way of life now lost forever. 'London Born' is a book that has appeared against all the odds - as Sid says, 'When me granddaughter Helen Day said she wanted to record the story of the first half of me life and turn it into a book I was astonished. I thought to meself, Well, I've done a lot of things, but I never dreamt I'd get into the book game. You see, I can't write more than me own name.' In 'London Born', Sid remembers the city that emerged from the First World War and recreates the daily life of the people living in the notorious street known as 'Tiger Bay'. He describes the drinking and merrymaking, the poverty and unemployment - and the 'villainry'. With relish he relates how youthful high spirits and a refusal to accept the hardship of the times sometimes put him and his friends on the wrong side of the law. He goes on to tell of the wartime mayhem endured by Londoners and his determination to survive. His story closes with demobilisation when he returns to his wife and young family - 'the only thing that ever counted'. This is a memoir from a warm and cheeky voice; from someone who remembers, as if it were yesterday, parading down Archway in his fifty-bob suit, or running rings around Ernie Costen, the local policeman.
Michael Jackson – Legend, Hero, Icon: A Tribute to the King of Pop
￥100.06
A lavishly illustrated tribute to the greatest entertainer of a generation. ‘The world has lost one of the greats but his music will live on forever’ - Madonna Michael Jackson was the undisputed King of Pop and his untimely death has provoked tributes from around the world. With a colourful life spanning from 1968 when Michael was a member of the Jackson 5 to his recent announcement of a final comeback tour at the O2 in London, nobody can dispute the achievements of the man who was arguably the greatest artist of the millenium. This fully illustrated book offers an insightful tribute to the man behind Thriller, the world's best selling album of all time. Including sections on Michael's early life and the Jackson 5, the making of Off the Wall and Thriller, and the troubled years leading right up to his announcement of a comeback tour, this will be a comprehensive and fitting tribute to a legendary pop star, the likes of which the world will never see again.
Ngaio Marsh: Her Life in Crime
￥63.18
The Empress of Crime's life was the ultimate detective story – revealed for the first time in this forthright and perceptive biography. While Ngaio Marsh had a flamboyant public persona, she was fiercely protective of her private life. And no one knows better how to cover tracks with red herrings and remove incriminating evidence than a crime fiction writer… This fascinating biography of Ngaio Marsh pieces together both the public and private Marsh in a way that is as riveting as a crime novel. Through her writing and her theatre work, Joanne Drayton assembles the pieces to the puzzle that is Marsh, proving that life can be as thrilling as fiction. Marsh wrote her first detective novel in a London flat in the depths of the 1930s Depression, bringing life to Detective Inspector Roderick Alleyn in her first book, A Man Lay Dead. Through 32 novels he would establish himself as one of the great super-sleuths, and Marsh as one of the four Queens of Golden Age detective fiction, alongside Agatha Christie, Dorothy Sayers and Margery Allingham. In 1932, a family tragedy brought Marsh home to New Zealand, to a life divided - between hemispheres, between passionate relationships at home and abroad, and between the world of publishing and her life as a stage director. In 1949 her writing would earn her the ultimate distinction when Penguin and Collins released the 'Marsh Million': 100,000 copies each of ten of her titles on to the world market. The popular appetite for classic whodunits was insatiable and Ngaio Marsh was one of the best. But her greatest love was the stage - or was it?
Journey of a Lifetime
￥69.26
The iconic broadcasting legend dusts down his suitcase for a final journey around the globe, revisiting locations of significance to his life and career. Published to coincide with a major Bbc Tv series of the same name, this is a glorious celebration of 50 years in front of the camera. For as long as most can remember, Whicker has roamed far and wide in search of the eccentric, the ludicrous, and the socially-revealing aspects of everyday life as lived by some of the more colorful of the world's inhabitants. Since the late 1950s, when the long-running Whicker's World documentary was first screened, he has probed and dissected the often secretive and unobserved worlds of the rich and famous, rooting out the most implausible and sometimes ridiculous characters after gaining admittance to the places where they conduct their leisure hours. The great man's legacy contains a number of genuine television firsts. As well as landmark interviews with figures as diverse as Papa Doc, Paul Getty, and The Sultan of Brunei, he was a pioneer, covering subjects like plastic surgery, gay weddings, polygamy, swinging, and following gun-toting cops, fly-on-the-wall style, for British screens long before anyone else. This wonderful new book is the end product of a very personal journey. Whicker retraces his steps, catching up with some past interviewees and reflecting on how the world has changedfor good and badover the passing of time. Lyrical and uplifting, this autobiography is peppered with a celebrated globetrotter's brand of subtle satire.
Hellfire
￥70.44
The true story of one man's determination to master the world's deadliest helicopter and of a split-second decision that changed the face of modern warfare. May 2006. Pilot Ed Macy arrives in Afghanistan with a contingent of the Apache AH Mk1. It’s the first operational tour for the deadly machines and confidence in the cripplingly expensive attack helicopter is low. It doesn’t help that for their first month ‘in action’, Ed and his mates see little more than the back-end of a Chinook. But when the men of 3 Para get pinned down during Op Mutay, reservations about the fearsome new attack helicopters are thrown out the window. In the blistering firefight that follows, Ed unleashes the first ever Hellfire missile in combat and, with one squeeze of the trigger, changes the war in Afghanistan forever. What had been rumoured as a ?4.2 billion mistake quickly becomes the British Army’s greatest asset, as the awe-inspiring Apache is dramatically redirected to fight the enemy head-on. In this gripping account of war on the ground and in the skies above the dusty wastes of Helmand, Ed recounts the intense months that followed: the steep learning curve, the relentless missions, the evolving enemy and the changing Rules of Engagement. As he comes to grip with the Apache, his early career as a paratrooper stands him in good stead, as does his operational baptism as a pilot. Both shaped his ability to fly, fight and survive during that fateful first Afghanistan tour against a cunning and ruthless enemy. Ed will need every ounce of willpower and skill to succeed over the long, hot Helmand summer, as he and his colleagues find themselves on trial for their lives and for the reputation of a machine on which the British government has staked a fortune. The crucible of fire that awaited them would cement the fate of man and machine forever.
Trilogy Collection (Tales of the Notorious Hudson Family)
￥182.47
The first three titles in a series of gritty family sagas, Our Vinnie, My Uncle Charlie and My Mam Shirley chart the lives of three of the most infamous members of Yorkshire’s real-life notorious criminal family, the Hudsons. Dramatic and shocking, these three explosive true stories document a community forsaken by society - one brother’s unrelenting determination to take justice into his own hands, one man’s ascendancy to power, and the tragedy that brought it all crashing down, and, finally, the vivid account of the ‘Tucker’ girls; the resourceful women at the helm of a notorious Bradford family who will never be forgotten.
Daddy’s Little Princess: Part 3 of 3
￥47.48
The latest title from the internationally bestselling author and foster carer Cathy Glass. Beth is a sweet-natured child who appears to have been well looked after. But it isn’t long before Cathy begins to have concerns that the relationship between Beth and her father is not as it should be. Little Beth, aged 7, has been brought up by her father Derek after her mother left when she was a toddler. When Derek is suddenly admitted to hospital with psychiatric problems Beth is taken into care and arrives at Cathy’s. Beth and her father clearly love each other very much and Derek spoils his daughter, treating her like a princess, but there is something bothering Cathy, something she can’t quite put her finger on. Meanwhile Cathy’s husband is working away a lot and coming home less at weekends. Then, suddenly, everything changes. Events take a dramatic turn for both Beth and Cathy and her family; as Cathy strives to pick up the pieces all their lives are changed forever.
Lovey: Part 3 of 3
￥47.48
Lovey can either be read as a full-length eBook or in 3 serialised eBook-only parts. This is PART 3 of 3. You can read Part 3 1 week ahead of release of the full-length eBook and paperback. This deeply moving memoir tells the story of Hannah: a child who has been beaten and abused; a girl full of loneliness and rage; a student no one but learning disabilities teacher Mary MacCracken could reach. Mary had reservations about eight-year-old Hannah joining her class. The three emotionally disturbed boys she was currently looking after had been making steady progress, and Hannah, who had a reputation for being a withdrawn and incredibly troubled child, would only be a disruptive influence. For the first fortnight Hannah retired to a cupboard and refused to come out. Howling almost non-stop she was displaying the worst symptoms that Mary had ever seen. How could Mary help a child who had been shut up in closets and treated like an animal? What could she say to a child who had been locked out of her own home, and beaten by both her brother and her father? How could she reach this lost girl? This is the remarkable story of Hannah and Mary’s journey together. Deep within Hannah, Mary recognises an amazing strength. And with love, skill and patience, she gradually starts to make a difference. It’s a long road to recovery, but Mary never gives up. As this moving true story unfolds, we feel Mary’s joy, we share her hope and, in time, her faith that Hannah will be okay.
Betrayed: Part 2 of 3
￥28.45
Betrayed can either be read as a full-length eBook or in 3 serialised eBook-only parts. This is PART 2 of 3. You can read Part 2 one week ahead of release of the full-length eBook and paperback. In the much-anticipated follow-up to Sunday Times bestseller Trapped, foster carer Rosie Lewis tells the heartbreaking true story of 13-year-old Zadie. When the young teenage girl runs away and is discovered hiding on the city streets by the police, it is clear that all is not as it should be. Taught to believe that Westerners should not be trusted, when Zadie is initially delivered into the experienced hands of foster carer Rosie she is polite and well-behaved, but understandably suspicious of the family around her. Through Rosie’s support and understanding, gradually Zadie begins to settle into her new surroundings, but loyalty to her relatives, and fear of bringing shame on those around her, prevents her from confessing the horrifying truth about her troubled past. When the shocking truth finally emerges, Rosie and her family can hardly believe that Zadie had managed to keep the shocking secrets to herself for so long.
Look who it is!: My Story
￥57.09
The brilliantly funny Sunday Times top ten bestseller. Alan Carr tells his life story in his own words, from growing up in a football-mad family in Northampton to his rise as one of Britain’s best-loved comedians. ‘Puberty had been unkind. Whereas it had come in the night and left the other boys with chiselled, stubbly chins and deep masculine voices, I’d been left with a huge pair of knockers and the voice of a pensioner.’ Alan Carr Alan Carr grew up in one of the most boring towns in England – Northampton. A place known for making shoes. It was also known for its football club, Northampton Town FC. Alan’s dad as manager of the club was a local hero. A dream come true for most lads, but not Alan. Alan wore glasses and had man boobs at 14. He did not like P.E. In his very first book, Alan tells his life story, (‘oh and what a life’) with his unique twist of natural, observational humour – ‘I’m not saying I’m a fantasist but there have been times when things that I’ve seen on television when I was younger have tended to seep into my subconscious and blended into my own life. I remember telling my Mum about the time I stopped that woman from having a diamond encrusted necklace stolen and she’d say ‘No Alan, that was Poirot.’ With his tongue-in-cheek, end of pier humour that made him famous, Alan describes an ordinary life in bursts of technicolour. His journey from awkward schoolboy hiding his man-boobs on the pitch, drinking tea with the dinner ladies and working in a call centre, to becoming one of our best-loved comedians likened to the great Frankie Howerd, make his book a guaranteed tickler with a laugh-out-loud gag on every page.
Punished
￥57.09
‘Punished’ is the inspiring true story of an unusual little girl, Vanessa, whose childhood was devastated by torture and abuse at the hands of her sadistic mother. Vanessa was nearly destroyed until she discovered a secret that ultimately saved her life. From the age of 3, Vanessa lived in daily terror of her mother's unpredictable rage. If she was 'naughty', her mother would lash out at her – with beatings, torture, starvation and making Vanessa sleep in their garden's pigsty, tied up like an animal. Her mother said her punishments were God's revenge on her for being the devil's child. Her father lived in denial of her suffering. When she was 6 years old, Vanessa's grandfather began to sexually abuse her – to her despair, aided and abetted by both her mother and grandmother. At eight years old, she then discovered that the 'mother' who hated her so much had adopted her as a baby and would never love her as her own. At the most horrific times of Vanessa's abuse, she nearly lost all hope that she would escape her prison, until mysterious things started to happen to her that allowed her to fight back. This is the story of how Vanessa survived a childhood that nearly destroyed her and how her secret led her out of the horrors of her past.
