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万本电子书0元读

In the Event of My Untimely Demise
In the Event of My Untimely Demise
Sack, Brian
¥78.55
When Brian Sack's mother passed away, he was left with a letter and a pink cardigan. The cardigan was promptly placed in a drawer, but the letter was pure gold. In just a few pages of fancy cursive, her posthumous dispatch offered the kind of guidance you would expect from a mother to her young son. And while he didn't necessarily follow all the advice, he never forgot how very important those words and that letter were to him. Decades later, on the verge of parenthood himself, Brian decided to write something for his own child, wanting a legacy, and not just a pink cardigan, to leave to his son. But far from the usual collection of advice, Brian has written a sharp, sage, warts-and-all survival guide to life.With quick wit and self-deprecating honesty, Sack draws from his experiences, tapping them for the humor within. Holding nothing back, he: Gives the skinny on relationships don't let the woman you love wander alone in France Commiserates about the death of the meritocracy wanting to sing doesn't mean you can Recounts his awkward entry into fatherhood you'll overcome your aversion to poo Offers firsthand advice avoid any bipolar lady with a drug-sniffing wonder-cat And argues that the Empire State Building is not a phallic symbol no matter what the professor said Every chapter takes on subjects ranging from the universal and mundane to the life changing and inevitable. With its funny and heartfelt musings from a father to a son, In the Event of My Untimely Demise is a delightful life primer for all of us.
Cube Monkeys
Cube Monkeys
Editors of CareerBuilder.com
¥78.10
You drag yourself to work wearing your office uniform, complete with khaki pants and sense of impending doom. After grabbing a cup of the office sludge, you settle in with your fellow cube dwellers and wonder: How will I last another day in this freaky corporate jungleCheaper than therapy, Cube Monkeys is your secret weapon to surviving the longest 40 hours of the week. Wanna get the overachieving intern firedDon't know how to tell the Stink Bomb down the hall he needs a scrub a dub dubAfraid you may have told off the boss after your fifth margarita at last night's happy hourNeed a handy list of excuses good for any occasionLook no further. The editors of CareerBuilder.com and Second City Communications have answers to your most pressing office survival questions, as well as advice, tips, and more to help you make it through the day without killing anyone. (Well, maybe the intern will take a hit. But that little snitch had it coming.)
How to Relax Without Getting the Axe
How to Relax Without Getting the Axe
Bing, Stanley
¥77.49
If business is a hamster wheel, what kind of hamster do you want to beThe one who runs all day long, huffing and puffing to keep things turningOr the sleek and happy rodent who works in the corner office down the hallStanley Bing has seen the way the big furballs operate in good times and bad.Core skills taught in this book:DelegationTelling people what to do and having them do it.AbsenceOperating from the digital vacuum.Abuse of statusIt can be done.DecisivenessEven when confused.EngagementBut only when necessary.Step off the wheel.Grab this book.And relax.
Player HateHer
Player HateHer
Johnson-George, Tamara A.
¥78.65
At last, a humorous, anecdote-filled exploration of the many ways in which women stab each other in the back and talk about each other behind closed doors If you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilty of being a Player hateHER: You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are. You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him. You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you. Player hateHER shows women why they hate on one another, and, most important, how they can stop! A much-needed lesson in respecting one another and respecting yourself.
Mental Floss presents In the Beginning
Mental Floss presents In the Beginning
Editors of Mental Floss
¥95.39
Sure, you know all about the birds and bees. But did Dad ever tell you that it wasn't a stork that put that shiny can opener in your kitchen drawerOr paperclips started out as proud, Nazi-fighting warriorsAnd did he tell you how cruise control was originally conceived by a blind geniusFrom mullets to Silly Putty, lie detectors to karaoke, we've got the true stories behind everything you didn't think had stories. Because if you're looking for answers, In the Beginning is the place to start.
It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit
It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit
Steve Stack
¥73.58
The Optimist’s Encyclopedia. In this A-Z of all things nice, Steve Stack takes the reader on an alphabetical tour of the good things in life. Trivial things such as dunking biscuits, drawing pictures in steamed up windows and the sound jelly makes. Big important things like falling in love, Nobel Peace Prize winners and the Internet. And pretty much everything in between from Lego to the shipping forecast, popping bubble wrap to meerkats with guest appearances from Sir David Attenborough, Oliver Postgate, Columbo and The Flaming Lips. It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit is the perfect gift for the cynic in your life. It will cheer up even the most miserable of old gits.
Drinking and Dating
Drinking and Dating
Glanville, Brandi
¥83.03
Feisty, funny, and almost fabulous: A relationship guide and collection of outrageous dating mishaps from the unfiltered and often inappropriate Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star. Welcome to Drinking and Dating . . . and how social media is ruining us all. In this honest, hilarious, and wild tell-all, reality TV starlet and number one New York Times bestselling author Brandi Glanville chronicles her misadventures stumbling through today's dating world. From felons to social media blunders and bedroom esca-pades, Brandi withholds nothing as she writes about the perils of getting back . . . on her back. Despite Brandi's life in the public spotlight, she has the same difficulty meeting, trusting, and even dating new people as the rest of us—perhaps even more. She hopes to develop a lasting, loving relationship, but it's been a struggle. With her signature tell-it-like-it-is voice, the single mother of two brings you along on her journey as the controversial but charming former fashion model shows her all-too-human side, candidly sharing the humorous and unforeseen ups and downs—literally and figuratively—in her search for love. Brandi Glanville is surprising, vulnerable, and outspoken, and her take on dating after heartbreak—and life in general—is as unique as she is. Just like Brandi herself, Drinking and Dating is sexy, funny, and eyebrow-raising—not that she can raise hers. #Botox.
Dump 'Em
Dump 'Em
Speyer, Jodyne L.
¥90.77
Everybody has that special someone in their life that they can't wait to get rid of. Whether it's a housekeeper, a therapist, or a personal trainer, the time comes when you have to pull the plug on the relationship.Featuring personal stories, useful *s, and interviews with experts such as Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser, funnyman Adam Carolla, and Michael Jackson's attorney, Thomas Mesereau, Dump 'Em is a practical guide for giving any bad relationship the boot. Jodyne L. Speyer provides a roadmap to finding your own way of saying "thanks, but no thanks." Written with honesty, empathy, and ruthless wit, Dump 'Em will teach you to conquer your fear of confrontation and master the art of the peaceful and permanent breakup. So what are you waiting forDump 'em!
Cubicle Warfare
Cubicle Warfare
Austin, John
¥90.77
Get revenge on all your annoying coworkers with this guide to 101 awesome office pranks Are your eyes beginning to glaze over from the fluorescent lights in your tiny cubicleHave you had one too many burnt cups of coffeeDoes the guy in the cube next to you insist on pencil-drumming while cranking "Hells Bells" and five-finger discounting your paper clipsIf your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you're in need of some Cubicle Warfare.With Cubicle Warfare, you'll never be bored at the office again. Make your coworkers jump, squeal, and run for cover with hilarious pranks such as the Paper Clip Chain, Bottomless Box, and the Sticky Note Office, as well as the more advanced Freezer Bomb, Chair Chaos, and Textless Keyboard. Even if you're not a prankster yourself, you can still use this riotous guide to recognize the warning signs and defend your desk from conniving coworkers. Bad days at the office will be a thing of the past.
Power Moves
Power Moves
Welzein, Karl
¥90.90
Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.
Mirth of a Nation
Mirth of a Nation
Rosen, Michael J.
¥90.54
A salvo of hilarity from that loose canon of American humor that Mirth of a Nation editor Michael J. Rosen has culled from some 1200 pages of brilliantly original works by our best contemporary humorists. This action-packed compilation of highlights includes Bobbie Ann Mason's stint at the La Bamba hotline, David Rakoff's insights on families, Andy Borowitz's memoir of Emily Dickinson (basically, she was a drunken jerk), and Michael Feldman's helpful (re)locating of the Midwest.
Genius and Heroin
Genius and Heroin
Largo, Michael
¥95.39
What is the price of brillianceWhy are so many creative geniuses also ruinously self-destructiveFrom Caravaggio to Jackson Pollack, from Arthur Rimbaud to Jack Kerouac, from Charlie Parker to Janis Joplin, to Kurt Cobain, and on and on, authors and artists throughout history have binged, pill-popped, injected, or poisoned themselves for their art. Fully illustrated and addictively readable, Genius and Heroin is the indispensable reference to the untidy lives of our greatest artists and thinkers, entertainingly chronicling how the notoriously creative lived and died whether their ultimate downfalls were the result of opiates, alcohol, pot, absinthe, or the slow-motion suicide of obsession.
Oh the Moon
Oh the Moon
Yi, Charlyne
¥94.10
From actress, comedian, musician, and writer Charlyne Yi comes this collection of illustrated, interconnected short stories and anecdotes that blends comedy, fantastic adventures, and a storm of feelings that will make you want to laugh and cry at the same time—reminiscent of the works of Demetri Martin, Shel Silverstein and John Cassavetes. Charlyne Yi takes readers from a sky filled with vengeful clouds to the depths of a frog’s stomach, and to Hell and back—literally—in this collection of short stories that showcases her unique style. Equal parts whimsical, hilarious, heartbreaking, and terrifying, these short stories—both written and illustrated by Charlyne—can be read separately, but are connected thematically following the difficulties of love at every age: Forgive Me: What happens when the tiniest boy of all time is the only thing standing between the world’s largest baby and an angry mobWho could ever love something so smallOr so big She’s All Legs: In this spicy, action-packed romance, Agatha, a woman who is literally just legs and a head, decides to hunt down and kill the Devil himself. Along the way she meets Cassady, an Elvis impersonator with his own, mysterious gripe with the Dark Lord. Short, one-page anecdotes, poems, reflections, and imagery are also included. Strange, heartfelt, and wonderful, Oh the Moon shows you love in the way that only Charlyne Yi’s brilliant, witty mind can.
Yiddish Yoga
Yiddish Yoga
Grunberger, Lisa
¥83.08
Meet Ruthie: a recently widowed New York City Jewish grandmother who doesn't necessarily come to yoga with the most open of minds. But when her granddaughter Stephanie gives her a year of yoga classes as a gift ("I think it will help you grieve, Bubby"), she doesn't want to risk offending her.At first, Ruthie is skeptical of yoga and its promise of renewal, healing, and transformation ("You know what's wrong with yogaThey haven't mastered the art of kvetching!"). She can't resist poking fun at some of the new words and rituals she encounters, translating the exotic language of Yoga into the more familiar idiom of her native Yiddish culture.As Ruthie's journey progresses from week to week, she forges new paths, new postures, and unexpected friendships, slowly overcoming her grief. Yiddish Yoga is a poignant, witty, and human story of love in its many expressions between grandmother and granddaughter, between an older woman and her younger yoga teacher, between a widow and her beloved husband of fifty years. As Ruthie learns to let go of the past without forgetting, she shows us how to embrace the present with new vigor, strength, and courage and, above all, makes us laugh.
Mental Floss: What's the Difference?
Mental Floss: What's the Difference?
Editors of Mental Floss
¥72.70
Enlighten Up Already!MonetManetWho can even tell the differenceWell, with the help of the newest mental_floss tome, you can! Want to learn how to tell egg rolls from spring rolls, nuclear bombs from dirty nuclear bombs, or even how to tell an idiot from a moron (there's a real scientific difference)Piece of cake! Whether you're trying to impress your boss, your mother-in-law, attractive singles, or a pack of fourth graders (you know how they love semantics), mental_floss gives you all the tips and tricks to have you sounding like a genius.
Macho Meditations
Macho Meditations
Cathcart, Thomas W.
¥50.60
An uproariously funny daily inspirational guide for manly men. Ralph and Reggie two regular, blue-collar buds from Boston offer one-a-day mcnuggets of affirmation, inspiration, manly wisdom and earth-shaking epiphanies from the end of the bar on the inner issues that truly matter everything from sex to sports to sex to imported vs. domestic to sex to the meaning of life.
Fail Nation
Fail Nation
Failblog.org Community
¥73.03
From the underbelly of the nuts behind hit websites failblog.org and icanhascheezburger.com comes FAIL Nation, your silent guide and handler to the not-even-close-to-perfect nation of FAIL, chock-full of irrelevant tips and useless suggestions about why to shop, who to eat, and when to see. So fasten your exit and check for the nearest seatbelt your FAIL plane departs now.
I Heart My Little A-Holes
I Heart My Little A-Holes
Alpert, Karen
¥94.10
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Today I Am a Ma'am
Today I Am a Ma'am
Harper, Valerie
¥121.85
Valerie Harper has a message for women of a certain age: "Work those laugh lines!" With the irreverence and wit that made her one of television's most beloved personalities, Harper (a.k.a. Rhoda Morgenstern) takes on those phony "fabulous at 50" books written by women whose skin is free of laugh lines and who wouldn't know a cellulite pocket if it bit them on the backside. With her trademark shoot-from-the-hip, call-'em-like-she-sees-'em style, she helps women celebrate, with humor and grace, what it means to be middle aged. Harper's essays explore the treacherous terrain women must travel -- from the tyrannies of fashion to the unmentionables of menopause. She tackles the most perplexing questions of the day: If you wear a size zero, do you existWould menopause be revered if it happened to menDo calories count if you eat standing upAre dressing rooms fitted with fun house mirrorsToday I Am a Ma'am is the perfect antidote to the youth obsession of our culture, offered by America's most reliable girlfriend. It is Humor Replacement Therapy for midlife women, a book you can pick up when ever you need a laugh or a reminder that midriff drift is not the end of the world.
Chocolate, Please
Chocolate, Please
Lampanelli, Lisa
¥84.28
An inside look at the life of Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, as she dishes on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back In her jaw-droppingly hilarious and politically incorrect memoir, Lisa reveals all including the dysfunctional childhood that made her the insult comic she is today, the subject for which she's best known (black men, black men, and more black men), and her hilarious struggles with her addiction to food and hot guys. By telling her story in her very real, very candid, very open way, Lisa shows her audience that it's okay to be yourself, even if it's just one rehab stint at a time. Lisa also takes readers behind the scenes at the roasts that have marked her comedy career and launched her into the comedy elite, and reveals the important "firsts" in her career, including her first time on her hero's program, The Howard Stern Show.Chocolate, Please is a side-splittingly funny portrait of the woman behind the award-winning insult comedy.
I Shudder
I Shudder
Rudnick, Paul
¥83.03
A hilariously funny, touching, and revelatory book from one of America's preeminent humorists In his plays, his screenplays, and his writing for the New Yorker and Premiere, Paul Rudnick has established himself as a comic master whose talents transcend genre. Now, in I Shudder, he trains his wickedly perceptive eye on everything from his New Jersey family to Hollywood to demented alcoholic Broadway stars waving swords. At his Uncle Rudy's funeral, Rudnick's beloved Aunt Lil put one hand on her husband's coffin and her other hand on Rudnick's shoulder and said, "Your Uncle Rudy always loved you. He never understood why, in your writing, you had to use that kind of language, but he loved you."Charming and touching, I Shudder is rendered in Rudnick's gorgeous, zinger-laden prose and reminds us of the need to keep our tongues sharp in the midst of life's many obstacles and absurdities. Here is one of the most accomplished collections in years, from a writer who ranks with David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs as one of our most gifted and hilarious social observers.