I'm going to be totally honest with you. This is not a "how-to," a "when-to," or a "what-to-expect" book. It's not even endorsed by anyone remotely connected to the medical profession. "But if I have only one book to buy," you ask, "shouldn't I go for the helpful one?"Let's compare:Those know-it-all books tell you how to care for a newborn child.My book describes how tired I am.Those books give you essential information you can use in a life-threatening emergency.My book has some very amusing anecdotes about poop.So really, it's up to you.

Featuring twenty-five iconic fashion styles, Manga Fashion is filled to the brim with gorgeous girls in dazzling clothes. Seventy-three of Japan's top manga artists portray key styles from party to romantic, gothic Lolita to nautical. De*ions of the different styles break them down into their essential components types of clothing, shoes, and accessories, as well as how the looks developed and what kind of modern manga girls wear them. Classic items like miniskirts, kimonos, military jackets, and ball gowns are covered, as are accessories including high heels, obis, and hair ribbons. And as the cherry on this manga sundae, two manga paper dolls can be found in the back of the book, accompanied by stylish outfits and accessories.

An extraordinary new volume in the bestselling Monster Book of Manga books Gothic features thirty dark characters and easy-to-follow instructions teaching you how to create them.The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the ultimate guide to creating the hottest, most cutting-edge manga. Inside you'll find thirty devious and mysterious manga characters, along with step-by-step instructions taking you from initial line drawings to graphic, full-color designs. The characters include rebellious and subversive youth from rock stars and dancers to gothic cheerleaders and a beautiful, modernized gothic Lolita. There are also dangerous cyberpunks, vampires, and warriors, as well as a gothic space queen and a satanic being. Unique in its content and the elegance of its characters, The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the only comprehensive guide to creating gothic manga and a must-have for all new and experienced manga artists alike.

A veteran waitress dishes up a spicy and robust account of life as it really exists behind kitchen doors.Part memoir, part social commentary, part guide to how to behave when dining out, Debra Ginsberg's book takes readers on her twentyyear journey as a waitress at a soap-operatic Italian restaurant, an exclusive five-star dining club, the dingiest of diners, and more. While chronicling her evolution as a writer, Ginsberg takes a behind-the-scenes look at restaurant life-revealing that yes, when pushed, a server will spit in food, and, no, that's not really decaf you're getting-and how most people in this business are in a constant state of waiting to do something else.

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics from apple to zebra but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bedWhat makes Mommy so bitterWhere does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon dungeonAnd why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusionMy First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as:A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens.Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born.A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!

Bridesmaid dresses -- what are they good forWe've got to pay for them, wear them, and then find a spot for them in the back of the closet. Our best women friends, suddenly transformed into tasteful-white-dress-wearing brides, tell us, "You'll be able to wear this bridesmaid dress again." But we know better.101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress, tongue firmly in cheek, pokes fun at the hopelessly horrible dress that a bride asks her "court" to don. These whimsical illustrations and silly suggestions, from cocktail napkins and shower curtains, to pony blankets and frilly jock straps, are a hilarious antidote to the bridesmaid dresses we'll never wear again.

RA:The Book - The Recording Architecture Book of Studio Design was first published as a single, hardcover volume in 2011 and which has sold in over fifty countries to critical acclaim. A necessarily large format dictated by the detailed drawings it contained, RA:The Book was unavoidably heavy and costly to produce and ship. This iBook version is the first of three stand alone volumes which will hopefully make this essential guide to recording studio design more accessible. It includes a new introduction with previously unavailable photographs. The following de*ion is for the original hardcover: Established by Roger D'Arcy and Hugh Flynn on April 1st 1987 Recording Architecture has risen to become one of the premier recording studio design companies in the world. First Commissioned by ex Def Leppard guitarist Pete Willis for Blue Room studios In Sheffield swiftly followed by projects such as Hulgrave Hall, for composer Keith Hopwood the company has grown to design key installations around the world. Now for the first time they will be publishing a history of these ground breaking designs covering all aspects of architectural, acoustic and interior design of these studios and spaces specifically related to sound on a project by project basis. In a Career spanning Three decades Recording Architecture has virtually unrivalled experience in the design of studios which range in size and purpose from classical orchestral, residential, mixing, mastering, post production, film dubbing, video editing and rehearsal studios over 40 countries worldwide. Stating his desire to expand awareness with the new book Roger D Arcy states Over the years, and perhaps surprisingly, the only available books on recording studio design seem to have been written by individuals with little or no qualified background in Architecture or design in the field - we are trying show the detailed architectural/acoustic input behind a successful design with each studio study showing drawings in large format . This is not a theoretical guide but a detailed presentation of tried and tested techniques as applied to real, built projects in many of the case studies, the actual drawings issued for construction are reproduced. The examples illustrate not only what we think should be done but what was in fact physically (and successfully) implemented in a wide variety of situations from small, private project studios to large, commercial land mark studios such as Lansdowne and CTS. Examples range in scope from individual spaces and rooms to multi studio facilities and cover the two principal strands of recording and mixing: MUSIC studios recording (tracking), mixing and mastering (including cutting) project to orchestral in scale examples have been taken from the private, commercial and educational sectors. POST PRODUCTION studios voice over (dubbing), FX recording ( Foley ), film mix studios (dubbing theatres) from small voice over studios for TV to large Dolby Premier Certified film mix theatres. Contents include hundreds of photographs together with detailed plans and construction drawings - including comprehensive specifications of materials and techniques - showing exactly how these environments were created.

There is a perfect drink for every situation. So what should you drink tonightIt depends . . .Are you stalking your exTry a pisco sour.Drowning out the ticking of your biological clockA bee's knees will do.Spoiling for a vicious brawl with your dearest loved onesA tipperary helps you get there.Sinking into debauchery underneath the mistletoe at your boss's holiday partyA presbyterian, what else?How to Booze has all the answers on what to drink when. Armed with nearly one hundred iconic recipes, useful facts on technique and ingredients, and more than enough advice to get you into trouble, you will now know just the right drink for the occasion and how to prepare it likea professional.

What separates the men from the boysThe Man Cave. Boyhood Fort Man Cave Who's allowed Not girls—they have cooties Not women—they have authority Primary materials used in construction Wood, stuff your mom doesn't want Particleboard, stuff your wife doesn't want Key activities inside Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Peak periods of use After school, weekends After work, weekends Slumber parties with buddiesYes No Food and beverages consumed Soda and unhealthy snacks Beer and unhealthy snacks Spend the night insideNot as a habit, but it's been known to happen Not as a habit, but it's been known to happen Money spent on space As little as possible As much as possible Is this a phase you will outgrowYes No The Man Cave Book is a tribute to great and glorious man spaces and the craftsmen behind them. Complete with instructions and insights into creating your own unique refuge and shrine to beer, sports, and everything else that's right with the world, this is an essential manual for any man cave enthusiast.

A stunningly witty exploration of the American landscape -- not to mention a brilliant comic's mind -- this diary is chock-full of everything you ever wanted to know about Eric Idle, Monty Python, America, and sleeping on a bus. In these pages, the sixth-nicest Python is cheeky, touching, and funny when recounting the riotous tales of his beginnings, his affectionate reminiscences of his fellow Pythons, traveling the world, and taking us backstage at the smash Broadway hit Spamalot.Fascinating, moving, at times even amusing, this book will dramatically improve your sex life, will make you feel intelligent and charming within the first several pages, and after a few chapters, will permanently eliminate all your personal or health problems. So come experience eighty days, 15,750 miles, and forty-nine cities as you never have before!

Welcome to basic training, soldier.Now meet your worst nightmare . . . your drill sergeant.Even if you've never served in the military, you know the drill sergeant. The mere sight of his fatigues and the iconic "Round Brown" campaign hat strikes fear into the bravest of hearts. Drill sergeants inflict pain, demand discipline, and aren't afraid of power, aggression, and using fear as a motivational tool. But unless you've witnessed one firsthand with your face in the mud doing pushups, you might not know one other fact . . . drill sergeants are some of the FUNNIEST people on the planet!After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail and social media with other veterans. Now, in Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said, Caddy shares the best-of-the-best quotes, one-liners, stories, and top-ten lists proving once and for all that drill sergeants are the world's most underrated comedians and philosophers. If you have ever suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), these often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining rants from real life soldiers will add a much-needed dose of humor to your day. Now stop laughing and drop and give me fifty.

Anxious about the apostrophe? Confused by the comma? Stumped by the semicolon? Join Lynne Truss on a hilarious tour through the rules of punctuation that is sure to sort the dashes from the hyphens. We all had the basic rules of punctuation drilled into us at school, but punctuation pedants have good reason to suspect they never sank in. ‘Its Summer!’ screams a sign that sets our teeth on edge. ‘Pansy’s ready’, we learn to our considerable interest (‘Is she?’) as we browse among the bedding plants. It is not only the rules of punctuation that have come under attack but also a sense of why they matter. In this runaway bestseller, Lynne Truss takes the fight to emoticons and greengrocers’ apostrophes with a war cry of ‘Sticklers unite!’

A Hilarious Expose of the Secret Lives of Unicorns, Based on the Popular Online Comic!In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals - through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions - that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks whose petty, selfish antics include stomping on children's sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall. In the vein of The Book of Bunny Suicides, this humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature.

Get comfy, pull up a pan of blondies, and settle in for some girlfriend talk. Get the lowdown on who's low and how's down, whose long-standing but unspoken conflict with her mother is contributing to her sexual repression, and whose boyfriend named his penis. A hysterical send-up of everyday life and love with lots of heart, Lipshtick is a quick fix, a good schmooze, a heartfelt sob or two.It will take you on a trip through things universal to all pairs of X chromosomes worth their salt: for coping with social dances in junior high (where the sexes meet like a hormonal high noon) to the joys of plucking out your chin hair like evil weeds; from the natural order of a girl's fantasies (like sweets that don't make you fat, spending that doesn't break the bank, a beautiful nap in the middle of a long day) to why flings with bad boys are the ultimate in dating pleasure (finding the right boy to lust after is a lifelong struggle--eventually you grow to be picky about who rejects you); from getting married (His best qualityHe was like family. His worst qualityHe was like family.) to the sad state of postnatal breasts. Gwen Macsai cover it all--with a shtick twist. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you're not her. No situation unaccounted for, no mole left unexamined, Macsai captures a woman's life from her first leg-shave to her last dose of hormone replacement therapy.When you finish Lipshtick you'll have added another great girlfriend to your already glittering array. And in this world you can't have enough girlfriends or laughter.

Did you wash your handsSet the alarm clock?Lock the front doorBetter yet: Do you like even numbersDo you fold all of your trash neatly into squaresDo you count stepsDo you carry a bottle of hand sanitizer with you at all timesEveryone has his or her own neuroses. On a routine trip to the office bathroom, Lianna Kong discovered one of hers: "How could I possibly pee with my coworker sitting right next to me doing her business?" And, in that quiet moment of panic, iamneurotic.com was born.i am neurotic (and so are you) is a smorgasbord of anonymous confessions that reveal people's deepest, strangest, and funniest compulsions quirks that are triggered in the boardroom, the bedroom, and everywhere in between.

Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle ageHow should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkinIs there any future in being a MidwesternerCan you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plainHow come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half emptyIn more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.

Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips.From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say!"Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." Dave's mom"I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." Kris's mom"I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.

If anything, in this presidential election special, he's madder than ever!In his earlier bestseller, There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos, Hightower only began to tap into the deep yearning that Americans have for a new politics that speaks to them from a real-world, kitchen-table perspective. Now, with the year 2000 being an especially significant marker for contemplating our country's direction, not only for the new year but for the new century and the new millennium, it's time for citizens to reclaim their political, economic, and cultural heritage.Leading the way with his hilariously irreverent yet profoundly serious book is our name-naming, podium-pounding, point-them-in-the-right-direction populist, Hightower himself. He whacks conventional wisdom right upside the head,showing,with startling facts and compelling personal stories, that despite a so-called period of prosperity, America's middle class is getting mugged, and that far from being ordained by the gods,globalization is globaloney! Hightower rips the mass off of the candidates, the parties, the consultants, and especially the moneyed powers whoa re supporting all of the leading presidential hopefuls. he's mad about them all--but what he's maddest about, what really gets his goat,is that they are all the same! To paraphrase Jim, American politicians are alike because they don't come cheap. In fact, they're all very expansive. which is why only the rich can own them and why their allegiance is definitely not to regular,worka-day citizens.No one is spared in this insightful and engaging blend of horror and success stories, hard-hitting commentary, laugh-out-loud humor, useful facts, and sparkling language. An equal opportunity muckraker and conscientious agitator for "We the people," Hightower inspires us to take charge again, to build a new politics, and, together, to build a better tomorrow. Jim Hightower's If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates proves yet again that his is a uniquely wise and peerlessly singular voice in the maelstrom of political prattle.

He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night.Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus?!Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.

Be amazing Who says you can'tIt's time to get off the couch and take your life to the next level. Step one: stand on the shoulders of geniusesWhat good are the world's greatest geniuses if you can't muddy their shoulder pads and use their accomplishments as a step stoolmental_floss has combed through every success story in history to deliver this ultimate how-to guide for climbing your way to greatness.Step two: bask in the glow of admiring fansWhether you want to glow in the dark, swallow a sword, quit smoking, find Atlantis, live forever, get out of jury duty, buy the Moon, sink a battleship, stop global warming, become a ninja, or simply be the center of the universe, Be Amazing covers all the essential life skills. Just absorb a few pages, then let the hero worship begin!You will need: A hunger for greatness Some duct tape This book You may want: Sidekicks and/or minions An impressive nickname An amazing outfit

Reading may be dead, but books are alive and well What good are books, you may be wondering, if we're not going to read themWhat are we even doing in this bookstoreNot to worry! It turns out that there are literally thousands of things to do with these chunky stacks of bound tree pulp. Fun, exciting, adventurous, creative things. In fact, this familiar rectangular object suddenly offers enough dazzling new interactive possibilities to, yes, fill a book. This book. From re-creating world wonders to settling marital disputes, entertaining dinner guests to channeling your inner secret agent, here are fifty wonderfully zany things to do with all your favorite books.