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万本电子书0元读

Everybody Dies
Everybody Dies
Tanaka, Ken
¥84.16
Nobody likes to think about death, but the world would be awfully crowded without it.From YouTube sensation Ken Tanaka and actor David Ury, who was crushed by an ATM on AMC's Breaking Bad, comes Everybody Dies, a colorful story and delightful assemblage of games that makes it easy-even fun- to come to grips with mortality.
Mirth of a Nation
Mirth of a Nation
Rosen, Michael J.
¥90.54
A salvo of hilarity from that loose canon of American humor that Mirth of a Nation editor Michael J. Rosen has culled from some 1200 pages of brilliantly original works by our best contemporary humorists. This action-packed compilation of highlights includes Bobbie Ann Mason's stint at the La Bamba hotline, David Rakoff's insights on families, Andy Borowitz's memoir of Emily Dickinson (basically, she was a drunken jerk), and Michael Feldman's helpful (re)locating of the Midwest.
My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top
My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top
Glaser, Jon
¥83.03
An irreverent and ridiculous collection of "found" documents that will change everything you thought you knew about rock and roll, by the creator and star of Adult Swim's DelocatedJon Glaser delves into the unknown and highly secretive histories of dozens of rock and roll's greatest bands with sometimes spectacular, sometimes heartbreaking, always completely made-up results. In this book, you'll discover the following: Handwritten letters by Glaser's own father, which reveal him to be an early member of the band we now know as ZZ Top Old lyrics journals of, among others, Bob Dylan and David Bowie, featuring a collection of songs they probably hoped would never see the light of day A letter from Ringo to the rest of the Beatles, the week after their breakup, informing them of his plans to start a Beatles tribute band Formerly classified government documents with shocking revelations about the Navy SEALs and the Butthole Surfers Prince's set list for the bat mitzvah of Steven Spielberg's daughter Rachel, including the songs "Purple Oy Vey," "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Rabbi," and "When Doves Kvetch" My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top is for everyone who loves absurd, made-up stories about their favorite bands. It's also for everyone who doesn't love absurd, made-up stories about their favorite real bands they just might not enjoy it as much.
The Works of John Leguizamo
The Works of John Leguizamo
Leguizamo, John
¥94.10
John Leguizamo's smash–hit one–man shows have been acclaimed by critics and fans alike. In this new Harper Paperback edition, all four shows are compiled into one phenomenally entertaining volume. Mambo Mouth (1991), Leguizamo's first show, was an off Broadway sensation. Leguizamo's portrayal of seven different Latino characters earned him both Obie and Outer Critics Circle awards. His follow up, Spic–O–Rama (1993), a "dysfunctional family comedy," presents 24–hours in the life of one family. It enjoyed a sold–out run in Chicago before relocating to New York where it won its creator a Drama Desk Award. Freak (1998), Leguizamo's Broadway debut, is his own coming–of–age story. A "demi–semi–quasi–pseudo–autobiography," the show was a critical and commercial success and won an Emmy when it was shown on TV. Sexaholix: A Love Story (2001), based on the sold–out national tour of John Leguizamo Live! was nominated for an Outer Critics Circle Award as well as a Tony Award. Alternately hilarious and poignant, always candid and searingly intelligent, The Works of John Leguizamo is a must–have for fans of this inimitable performer.
Mental Floss: What's the Difference?
Mental Floss: What's the Difference?
Editors of Mental Floss
¥72.70
Enlighten Up Already!MonetManetWho can even tell the differenceWell, with the help of the newest mental_floss tome, you can! Want to learn how to tell egg rolls from spring rolls, nuclear bombs from dirty nuclear bombs, or even how to tell an idiot from a moron (there's a real scientific difference)Piece of cake! Whether you're trying to impress your boss, your mother-in-law, attractive singles, or a pack of fourth graders (you know how they love semantics), mental_floss gives you all the tips and tricks to have you sounding like a genius.
In the Event of My Untimely Demise
In the Event of My Untimely Demise
Sack, Brian
¥78.55
When Brian Sack's mother passed away, he was left with a letter and a pink cardigan. The cardigan was promptly placed in a drawer, but the letter was pure gold. In just a few pages of fancy cursive, her posthumous dispatch offered the kind of guidance you would expect from a mother to her young son. And while he didn't necessarily follow all the advice, he never forgot how very important those words and that letter were to him. Decades later, on the verge of parenthood himself, Brian decided to write something for his own child, wanting a legacy, and not just a pink cardigan, to leave to his son. But far from the usual collection of advice, Brian has written a sharp, sage, warts-and-all survival guide to life.With quick wit and self-deprecating honesty, Sack draws from his experiences, tapping them for the humor within. Holding nothing back, he: Gives the skinny on relationships don't let the woman you love wander alone in France Commiserates about the death of the meritocracy wanting to sing doesn't mean you can Recounts his awkward entry into fatherhood you'll overcome your aversion to poo Offers firsthand advice avoid any bipolar lady with a drug-sniffing wonder-cat And argues that the Empire State Building is not a phallic symbol no matter what the professor said Every chapter takes on subjects ranging from the universal and mundane to the life changing and inevitable. With its funny and heartfelt musings from a father to a son, In the Event of My Untimely Demise is a delightful life primer for all of us.
Player HateHer
Player HateHer
Johnson-George, Tamara A.
¥78.65
At last, a humorous, anecdote-filled exploration of the many ways in which women stab each other in the back and talk about each other behind closed doors If you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilty of being a Player hateHER: You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are. You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him. You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you. Player hateHER shows women why they hate on one another, and, most important, how they can stop! A much-needed lesson in respecting one another and respecting yourself.
Fail Nation
Fail Nation
Failblog.org Community
¥73.03
From the underbelly of the nuts behind hit websites failblog.org and icanhascheezburger.com comes FAIL Nation, your silent guide and handler to the not-even-close-to-perfect nation of FAIL, chock-full of irrelevant tips and useless suggestions about why to shop, who to eat, and when to see. So fasten your exit and check for the nearest seatbelt your FAIL plane departs now.
236 Pounds of Class Vice President
236 Pounds of Class Vice President
Mulgrew, Jason
¥84.16
When Jason Mulgrew enrolls in a private high school in an exciting new neighborhood (North Philly, murder center of the city), he finds himlf displaced into a world of privilege and strict standards. His classmates, whose parents are lawyers and bankers, live in houses with yards and pools. Mulgrew, whose longshoreman father bought him a motorcycle upon completion of his driver's test, struggles to relate in this wider world, fighting his way through the gauntlet of high school as an awkward, sexless giant. Mulgrew tackles the glorious complications, misapprehensions, and obsessions of the teenage mind. He revisits his unhealthy fixations on dogs, his "bird," the Prep, friends who are girls, Kahlúa & Cream, and a certain position in student body government to craft yet another raunchy, honest, and relentlessly funny memoir.
Cubicle Warfare
Cubicle Warfare
Austin, John
¥90.77
Get revenge on all your annoying coworkers with this guide to 101 awesome office pranks Are your eyes beginning to glaze over from the fluorescent lights in your tiny cubicleHave you had one too many burnt cups of coffeeDoes the guy in the cube next to you insist on pencil-drumming while cranking "Hells Bells" and five-finger discounting your paper clipsIf your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you're in need of some Cubicle Warfare.With Cubicle Warfare, you'll never be bored at the office again. Make your coworkers jump, squeal, and run for cover with hilarious pranks such as the Paper Clip Chain, Bottomless Box, and the Sticky Note Office, as well as the more advanced Freezer Bomb, Chair Chaos, and Textless Keyboard. Even if you're not a prankster yourself, you can still use this riotous guide to recognize the warning signs and defend your desk from conniving coworkers. Bad days at the office will be a thing of the past.
Power Moves
Power Moves
Welzein, Karl
¥90.90
Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.
Genius and Heroin
Genius and Heroin
Largo, Michael
¥95.39
What is the price of brillianceWhy are so many creative geniuses also ruinously self-destructiveFrom Caravaggio to Jackson Pollack, from Arthur Rimbaud to Jack Kerouac, from Charlie Parker to Janis Joplin, to Kurt Cobain, and on and on, authors and artists throughout history have binged, pill-popped, injected, or poisoned themselves for their art. Fully illustrated and addictively readable, Genius and Heroin is the indispensable reference to the untidy lives of our greatest artists and thinkers, entertainingly chronicling how the notoriously creative lived and died whether their ultimate downfalls were the result of opiates, alcohol, pot, absinthe, or the slow-motion suicide of obsession.
Oh the Moon
Oh the Moon
Yi, Charlyne
¥94.10
From actress, comedian, musician, and writer Charlyne Yi comes this collection of illustrated, interconnected short stories and anecdotes that blends comedy, fantastic adventures, and a storm of feelings that will make you want to laugh and cry at the same time—reminiscent of the works of Demetri Martin, Shel Silverstein and John Cassavetes. Charlyne Yi takes readers from a sky filled with vengeful clouds to the depths of a frog’s stomach, and to Hell and back—literally—in this collection of short stories that showcases her unique style. Equal parts whimsical, hilarious, heartbreaking, and terrifying, these short stories—both written and illustrated by Charlyne—can be read separately, but are connected thematically following the difficulties of love at every age: Forgive Me: What happens when the tiniest boy of all time is the only thing standing between the world’s largest baby and an angry mobWho could ever love something so smallOr so big She’s All Legs: In this spicy, action-packed romance, Agatha, a woman who is literally just legs and a head, decides to hunt down and kill the Devil himself. Along the way she meets Cassady, an Elvis impersonator with his own, mysterious gripe with the Dark Lord. Short, one-page anecdotes, poems, reflections, and imagery are also included. Strange, heartfelt, and wonderful, Oh the Moon shows you love in the way that only Charlyne Yi’s brilliant, witty mind can.
Crazy Bosses
Crazy Bosses
Bing, Stanley
¥123.24
Since the latter part of the century just past, Stanley Bing has been exploring the relationship between authority and madness. In one bestselling book after another, reporting from his hot-seat as an insider in a world-renowned multinational corporation, he has tried to understand the inner workings of those who lead us and to inquire why they seem to be powered, much of the time, by demons that make them obnoxious and dangerous, even to themselves. In What Would Machiavelli Do?, Bing looked at the issue of why mean people do better than nice people, and found that in their particular form of insanity lay incredible power. In Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up, he offered a spiritual path toward managing the unruly executive beast. And in Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, he taught us how to become one of them, and wage war on the playing field that ends in a dream home in Cabo. Now he returns to his roots to offer the last word on the entity that shapes our lives and stomps through and on our dreams: The Crazy Boss. Students of Bing and there are many, secreted inside tortured organizations, yearning for blunt instruments with which to fight will note that he has walked this ground before, looking for answers. In 1992, he published the first edition of Crazy Bosses, which was fine, as far as it went. Now, some 15 years and several dozen insane bosses later, he has updated and rethought much of the work. Back in the last century, Bing was a small, trembling creature, looking up at those who made his life miserable and analyzing the mental illness that gave them their power. Today, while still trembling much of the time, he is in fact one of those people his prior work has warned us against. His own hard-won wisdom and now institutionalized dementia make this new edition completely fresh and indispensable to anyone who works for somebody else or lives with somebody else, or would like to. In short, Bing is back on his home turf in this funny, true, and essential book, peering with his keen and frosty eye at the crazy boss in all his guises: the Bully, the Paranoid, the Narcissist, the Wimp, and the self-destructive Disaster Hunter. If you loved the original, classic Crazy Bosses, you'll be thrilled to plunge back into the new, refurbished pool. If you are new to the book, strap yourself in: it's going to be a crazy ride.
I Heart My Little A-Holes
I Heart My Little A-Holes
Alpert, Karen
¥94.10
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Today I Am a Ma'am
Today I Am a Ma'am
Harper, Valerie
¥121.85
Valerie Harper has a message for women of a certain age: "Work those laugh lines!" With the irreverence and wit that made her one of television's most beloved personalities, Harper (a.k.a. Rhoda Morgenstern) takes on those phony "fabulous at 50" books written by women whose skin is free of laugh lines and who wouldn't know a cellulite pocket if it bit them on the backside. With her trademark shoot-from-the-hip, call-'em-like-she-sees-'em style, she helps women celebrate, with humor and grace, what it means to be middle aged. Harper's essays explore the treacherous terrain women must travel -- from the tyrannies of fashion to the unmentionables of menopause. She tackles the most perplexing questions of the day: If you wear a size zero, do you existWould menopause be revered if it happened to menDo calories count if you eat standing upAre dressing rooms fitted with fun house mirrorsToday I Am a Ma'am is the perfect antidote to the youth obsession of our culture, offered by America's most reliable girlfriend. It is Humor Replacement Therapy for midlife women, a book you can pick up when ever you need a laugh or a reminder that midriff drift is not the end of the world.
It Books
It Books
Tyler, Aisha
¥139.90
self-inflicted wound (n): a spectacularly humiliating, and often hilarious, incident entirely of one's own making. see also: you did it to yourself.Have you ever made a decision you instantly regrettedHumiliated yourself in a room of your peers, or shamed yourself in front of your massive crushEver blown a job interview, frozen during a presentation, acted like a total idiot on a dateEver said the wrong thing at the wrong time, unable to keep your tongue from flapping out the stupidest words you've ever said in your life, everIf you are a human being, the answer, of course, is yes. Take heart. You're not alone. This is known as the Self-Inflicted Wound, and every one of us bears a scar. Or several. Here, Aisha Tyler, comedian, actress, cohost of CBS's The Talk, star of Archer, and creator of the top-ranked podcast Girl on Guy, serves up a spectacular collection of her own self-inflicted wounds. From almost setting herself on fire, to vomiting on a boy she liked, to getting drunk and sleeping through the SATs, to going into crushing debt to pay for college and then throwing away her degree to become a comedian, Aisha's life has been a series of spectacularly epic fails. And she's got the scars to prove it. Literally.Through it all, Aisha's triumphs haven't come in spite of the failures, but because of them. Because with every failure comes a lesson learned, a strength revealed, a fear overcome, or an adventure braved. Self-Inflicted Wounds isn't just about surviving failure. It's about embracing failure pursuing it, even on the winding path to success. And after you've failed a time or three, hopefully you'll have learned something. Or at the very least have a really killer story. Because to err is human, but to fail epically is hilarious.
Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut: Essays and Observations From An Odd Mom Out
Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut: Essays and Observations From An Odd Mom Out
Kargman, Jill
¥110.71
Demonstrating Woody Allen's magical math equation, comedy = tragedy + time, a sensational collection of witty essays about life, love, hate, kids, work, school, and more from the author of The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund and Arm Candy Jill Kargman is a mother, wife, and writer living the life in New York City . . . a life that includes camping out in a one-bedroom apartment with some unfortunate (and furry) roommates, battling the Momzillas of Manhattan, and coming to terms with her desire for gay men. In this entertaining collection of observations, Kargman offers her unique, wickedly funny perspective as she zips around Manhattan with three kids in tow.Kargman tackles issues big and small with sharp wit and laugh-out-loud humor: her love of the smell of gasoline, her new names for nail polishes, her adventures in New York City real estate, and her fear of mimes, clowns, and other haunting things. Whether it's surviving a family road trip or why she can't stand Cirque du So Lame, living with a mommy vagina the size of the Holland Tunnel or surviving the hell that was her first job out of college, Kargman's nutty self triumphs, thanks to a wonderfully wise outlook and sense of fun that makes the best of everything that gets thrown her way. And if that's not enough, Kargman illustrates her reflections with doodles that capture her refreshing voice.
Bertha Venation
Bertha Venation
Ashmead, Larry
¥84.05
An ideal gift book with personality and charm, Bertha Venation is a legendary editor's lifetime collection of the amazing names of actual people, with his own inimitable wit, commentary, and stories.Roger Gotobed . . . Ida Slaptor . . . Formica Dinette . . . Honeysuckle Weeks . . . Gay Beach . . . Sappho Clissit . . . Dimple MysteryThis colorful collection of extraordinary names, sure to please every lover of miscellany, features: Celebrity Children, Weirdest Names in Sports, Aptly Named Professionals, Literary Highlights, Funny Name Marriages, Places and Houses with Strange Names, Long and Meaningless Names, and Pets.Barbara Fatt Heine . . . P. Enis . . . Razzle and Dazzle . . . Moondog . . . Casa Enima . . . Phydeaux . . . Phat Ho . . . Fitz Funfrock . . . Mone't Elysea Ann . . . and Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
When Did I Get Like This?
When Did I Get Like This?
Wilson, Amy
¥83.03
When Did I Get Like Thisis the hilarious story of one mother's struggle to shrug off the ridiculous standards of modern parenting, and remember how to enjoy her children Over the last seven years of long days with little children, I have had many moments of joy, calm, and peaceful reverie.This book is about the other moments.Before I became a mother, failing at something did not shake my fundamental belief in my capabilities as a human being. But now that I am the mother of three children under the age of seven, I have one overriding daily thought: I suck at this.What kind of mother feeds her kids dinosaur chicken nuggetsThree times a weekWhat kind of mother lets hand washing after using the toilet slide, as long as it was just Number OneAnd then I wonder: When did I get like thisWhy do I doubt my parenting abilities, day after dayWhy does motherhood, a job as old as Eve, have me teetering daily on the edge of sanity?With each new stage of motherhood, I tell myself I will never again be suckered by the question, "Don't you want what's best for your children?" And yet, time after time, I am. Sometimes, I am right to obsess. Other times, the record will show, it has been distinctly counterproductive.I'm working on it . . .
How to Eat Like a Child
How to Eat Like a Child
Ephron, Delia
¥90.77
Universal and timeless, Delia Ephron's How to Eat Like a Child is a delightful revisiting of the joys -- and tricky ploys -- of childhood. Made into a children's television special and a musical theater revue performed across the country each year, How to Eat Like a Child offers advice beyond the artful etiquette of food consumption. Ephron also teaches us "How to Laugh Hysterically," "How to Have a Birthday Party," "How to Torture Your Sister," and much, much more. As the Washington Post Book World noted, `After the giggles of recognition have subsided, one thing will be very clear: all adults are kids in grown-ups' clothing."