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万本电子书0元读

Scared of Santa
Scared of Santa
Joyce, Denise
¥72.93
He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night.Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus?!Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.
Mental Floss Presents Be Amazing
Mental Floss Presents Be Amazing
Koerth-Baker, Maggie
¥95.39
Be amazing Who says you can'tIt's time to get off the couch and take your life to the next level. Step one: stand on the shoulders of geniusesWhat good are the world's greatest geniuses if you can't muddy their shoulder pads and use their accomplishments as a step stoolmental_floss has combed through every success story in history to deliver this ultimate how-to guide for climbing your way to greatness.Step two: bask in the glow of admiring fansWhether you want to glow in the dark, swallow a sword, quit smoking, find Atlantis, live forever, get out of jury duty, buy the Moon, sink a battleship, stop global warming, become a ninja, or simply be the center of the universe, Be Amazing covers all the essential life skills. Just absorb a few pages, then let the hero worship begin!You will need: A hunger for greatness Some duct tape This book You may want: Sidekicks and/or minions An impressive nickname An amazing outfit
Why Is Daddy in a Dress?
Why Is Daddy in a Dress?
McCall, Amanda
¥73.03
Why face the embarrassment of dealing with life's most awkward questions when adorable baby animals can do it for youAmanda McCall and Ben Schwartz, the creators of the wickedly lovable Grandma's Dead, return with Why is Daddy in a Dress?, another invaluable aid to avoiding sticky situations. A book of postcards featuring cuddly kittens, playful puppies, fuzzy ducklings, and hoppity baby bunnies broaching sensitive subjects like "Are you a hooker?" or "Can we stop cuddling?," Why is Daddy in a Dressis the perfect cure for foot-in-mouth disease.
The Official Guide to Christmas in the South
The Official Guide to Christmas in the South
Barnette, David C.
¥94.10
No place celebrates Christmas like Dixie, and with this charming, humorous guide, anyone can learn how to deck the halls, Southern styleIt's the one time of the year when both the divine and debutantes take center stage in a perfect storm of hot glue and cheese grits: Christmas. But successfully navigating through the holiday season can be more complex than Santa's midnight journey. There are pitfalls hotter than any chimney -- and social situations more slippery than any roof! But now The Official Guide to Christmas in the South has arrived to reveal the finer and sometimes unspoken details of Dixie etiquette.Perfect for a true Southerner's coffee table or an imposter's survival guide, The Official Guide to Christmas in the South is the gift that will keep on regifting season after season.
Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
Caddy, Dan
¥110.71
Welcome to basic training, soldier.Now meet your worst nightmare . . . your drill sergeant.Even if you've never served in the military, you know the drill sergeant. The mere sight of his fatigues and the iconic "Round Brown" campaign hat strikes fear into the bravest of hearts. Drill sergeants inflict pain, demand discipline, and aren't afraid of power, aggression, and using fear as a motivational tool. But unless you've witnessed one firsthand with your face in the mud doing pushups, you might not know one other fact . . . drill sergeants are some of the FUNNIEST people on the planet!After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail and social media with other veterans. Now, in Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said, Caddy shares the best-of-the-best quotes, one-liners, stories, and top-ten lists proving once and for all that drill sergeants are the world's most underrated comedians and philosophers. If you have ever suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), these often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining rants from real life soldiers will add a much-needed dose of humor to your day. Now stop laughing and drop and give me fifty.
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
Hightower, Jim
¥78.60
If anything, in this presidential election special, he's madder than ever!In his earlier bestseller, There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos, Hightower only began to tap into the deep yearning that Americans have for a new politics that speaks to them from a real-world, kitchen-table perspective. Now, with the year 2000 being an especially significant marker for contemplating our country's direction, not only for the new year but for the new century and the new millennium, it's time for citizens to reclaim their political, economic, and cultural heritage.Leading the way with his hilariously irreverent yet profoundly serious book is our name-naming, podium-pounding, point-them-in-the-right-direction populist, Hightower himself. He whacks conventional wisdom right upside the head,showing,with startling facts and compelling personal stories, that despite a so-called period of prosperity, America's middle class is getting mugged, and that far from being ordained by the gods,globalization is globaloney! Hightower rips the mass off of the candidates, the parties, the consultants, and especially the moneyed powers whoa re supporting all of the leading presidential hopefuls. he's mad about them all--but what he's maddest about, what really gets his goat,is that they are all the same! To paraphrase Jim, American politicians are alike because they don't come cheap. In fact, they're all very expansive. which is why only the rich can own them and why their allegiance is definitely not to regular,worka-day citizens.No one is spared in this insightful and engaging blend of horror and success stories, hard-hitting commentary, laugh-out-loud humor, useful facts, and sparkling language. An equal opportunity muckraker and conscientious agitator for "We the people," Hightower inspires us to take charge again, to build a new politics, and, together, to build a better tomorrow. Jim Hightower's If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates proves yet again that his is a uniquely wise and peerlessly singular voice in the maelstrom of political prattle.
50 Things to Do with a Book
50 Things to Do with a Book
McCall, Bruce
¥95.52
Reading may be dead, but books are alive and well What good are books, you may be wondering, if we're not going to read themWhat are we even doing in this bookstoreNot to worry! It turns out that there are literally thousands of things to do with these chunky stacks of bound tree pulp. Fun, exciting, adventurous, creative things. In fact, this familiar rectangular object suddenly offers enough dazzling new interactive possibilities to, yes, fill a book. This book. From re-creating world wonders to settling marital disputes, entertaining dinner guests to channeling your inner secret agent, here are fifty wonderfully zany things to do with all your favorite books.
101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress
101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress
Walker, Cindy
¥112.44
Bridesmaid dresses -- what are they good forWe've got to pay for them, wear them, and then find a spot for them in the back of the closet. Our best women friends, suddenly transformed into tasteful-white-dress-wearing brides, tell us, "You'll be able to wear this bridesmaid dress again." But we know better.101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress, tongue firmly in cheek, pokes fun at the hopelessly horrible dress that a bride asks her "court" to don. These whimsical illustrations and silly suggestions, from cocktail napkins and shower curtains, to pony blankets and frilly jock straps, are a hilarious antidote to the bridesmaid dresses we'll never wear again.
Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters
Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters
Nelson, Michael J.
¥88.56
Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle ageHow should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkinIs there any future in being a MidwesternerCan you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plainHow come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half emptyIn more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.
Cyanide and Happiness
Cyanide and Happiness
Wilson, Kris
¥88.56
Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips.From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say!"Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." Dave's mom"I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." Kris's mom"I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.
The Greedy Bastard Diary
The Greedy Bastard Diary
Idle, Eric
¥90.54
A stunningly witty exploration of the American landscape -- not to mention a brilliant comic's mind -- this diary is chock-full of everything you ever wanted to know about Eric Idle, Monty Python, America, and sleeping on a bus. In these pages, the sixth-nicest Python is cheeky, touching, and funny when recounting the riotous tales of his beginnings, his affectionate reminiscences of his fellow Pythons, traveling the world, and taking us backstage at the smash Broadway hit Spamalot.Fascinating, moving, at times even amusing, this book will dramatically improve your sex life, will make you feel intelligent and charming within the first several pages, and after a few chapters, will permanently eliminate all your personal or health problems. So come experience eighty days, 15,750 miles, and forty-nine cities as you never have before!
My First Dictionary
My First Dictionary
Horsley, Ross
¥84.16
Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics from apple to zebra but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bedWhat makes Mommy so bitterWhere does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon dungeonAnd why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusionMy First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as:A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens.Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born.A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!
Babyhood
Babyhood
Reiser, Paul
¥83.03
I'm going to be totally honest with you. This is not a "how-to," a "when-to," or a "what-to-expect" book. It's not even endorsed by anyone remotely connected to the medical profession. "But if I have only one book to buy," you ask, "shouldn't I go for the helpful one?"Let's compare:Those know-it-all books tell you how to care for a newborn child.My book describes how tired I am.Those books give you essential information you can use in a life-threatening emergency.My book has some very amusing anecdotes about poop.So really, it's up to you.
HarperCollins e-books
HarperCollins e-books
Adler, Bill
¥112.44
Discusses Jay Leno's unique sense of humor, from his days as a New England schoolboy to his role as the top-rated late-night TV talk-show host, and examines some of the challenges and conflicts he faced to make it to where he is today.
Grumpy Old Men: New Year, Same Old Crap
Grumpy Old Men: New Year, Same Old Crap
David Quantick
¥81.52
At last! A comprehensive, handy guide for the misery-guts in your life. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Grumpy Old Men is an annotated, cross-referenced and fully illustrated manual for malcontents everywhere: the comprehensive Gripes of Wrath. A compilation of gripes and grumbles, illustrated with blood-boiling images such as derailed trains and traffic wardens throughout. The next time you find yourself enraged by pointless speed bumps, overcrowded trains, ill-mannered drivers, irritating adverts, inefficient customer help-lines, overbooked airlines, inconsiderate cyclists, slow-moving caravans, extortionate bank charges, persistent charity collectors, mindless hotel muzak, unfunny clowns or just plain miserable British weather, let this book take the strain. The ultimate in stress-relief for the 21st-Century Grouch.
Manolos In Manhattan (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 3)
Manolos In Manhattan (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 3)
Katie Oliver
¥38.26
She’s a fiancée of good fortune… Strutting down Park Avenue in her new Manolos, Holly James looks like a woman who has it all. But beneath the Prada sunglasses, Holly has a mounting list of decidedly unfabulous problems. Right at the top? The fact that since her fiancé Jamie started spending all his time at his new restaurant (with his impossibly gorgeous sous-chef!), Holly has practically forgotten what he looks like…and started to feel a teensy bit paranoid. …but has Holly found the right Mr Darcy? So being kissed by film star Ciaran Duncan should have been a much-needed boost to Holly’s ego. But losing herself in the moment is impossible, since she’s still fuming after meeting English lawyer Hugh Darcy. He’s easily the most arrogant man in Manhattan and she’s engaged to be married…so why can’t Holly stop imagining kissing him? Suddenly, Holly finds herself torn between three eligible bachelors…and it’s proving more difficult than choosing between a Manolo Blanik and a Jimmy Choo – especially since men are non-refundable! What’s a New York fashionista to do? Don’t miss Manolos in Manhattan, book three in Katie Oliver’s Marrying Mr Darcy series. Also by Katie Oliver: Prada and Prejudice Love and Liability Mansfield Lark And the Bride Wore Prada Love, Lies and Louboutins
Paper:An Elegy
Paper:An Elegy
Ian Sansom
¥73.58
A witty, personal and entertaining reflection on the history and meaning of paper during the (passing) era of its universal importance. Paper serves nearly every function of our lives. It is the technology with which we have made sense of the world. Yet the age of paper is ending. Ebooks now outsell their physical counterparts. Still, there are some uses of paper that seem unlikely to change – Christmas won’t be Christmas without wrapped presents or crackers. And the language of paper – documents, files and folders – has survived digitisation. In ‘Paper: An Elegy’ Ian Sansom builds a museum of paper and explores its paradox – its vulnerability and durability.
And The Bride Wore Prada (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 1)
And The Bride Wore Prada (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 1)
Katie Oliver
¥39.24
She’s dated Mr Darcy… After being hounded by the paparazzi ever since news of their engagement got out, Gemma and Dominic are flying to Scotland for a much-needed romantic getaway. But they didn’t expect to find Dominic’s ex, Natalie, and her husband Rhys, on the very same flight! Landing in a torrential blizzard and with only one hire car (let alone a limo!) between them, the four share a lift….but as the snowdrifts move in, stranding them in an isolated castle, it seems they’ll be reunited for longer than planned! Now it’s time to say ‘I do!’ In the face of adversity, Gemma does what any self-respecting celebrity fiancée would do: starts planning a last-minute wedding while she has Dominic to herself! After all, where better for a discreetly decadent wedding than in the middle of nowhere, miles from the nearest celebrity news desk? But marrying an A-lister away from prying eyes was never going to be easy. Will Gemma make it up the aisle? And, more importantly, now she’s miles away from Vera Wang, what is this fashionista going to wear?! And the Bride Wore Prada is the sensational first book in Katie Oliver’s long-awaited ‘Marrying Mr Darcy’ series, the follow-up to her best-selling ‘Dating Mr Darcy’ trilogy. Also by Katie Oliver: Prada and Prejudice Love and Liability Mansfield Lark and, coming soon: Love, Lies and Louboutins Manolos in Manhattan
Love, Lies And Louboutins (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 2)
Love, Lies And Louboutins (Marrying Mr Darcy, Book 2)
Katie Oliver
¥39.24
The course of a celebrity marriage never did run smooth… Gemma Heath has finally managed to get her rock-star husband Dominic to settle down – and she has the ring to prove it! But when she sees photos of her brand-new husband escaping on his private jet with the latest pop sensation, Gemma can’t help but assume the worst: once a cheater, always a cheater… …but that doesn’t mean you can’t look fabulous! So when her old flame Jack Hawkins resurfaces, Gemma can’t resist engaging in some extra-marital flirtation of her own – purely for revenge purposes, of course. But she wasn’t prepared for her old attraction for bad-boy Jack to resurface! Gemma has a decision to make – and running away from her problems has never been her style. Especially not when she’s in sky-high stilettos! Love, Lies and Louboutins is the second book in Katie Oliver's fabulous 'Marrying Mr Darcy' series, to be followed in March by Manolos in Manhattan. Also by Katie Oliver: The Dating Mr Darcy series: Prada and Prejudice Love and Liability Mansfield Lark The Marrying Mr Darcy series: And the Bride Wore Prada and, coming soon, Manolos in Manhattan
Keith? or Moliere Rewired
Keith? or Moliere Rewired
Patrick Marmion
¥40.79
… A South African gunrunner turned Buddhist monk.… A gullible startup millionaire.… His radical feminist ex wife.… Their aid worker daughter.… The young British Muslim she met in Syria.… An ethical Serbian hitman.And an unstable Brazilian cleaner.Modern Britain. Moral chaos. Total nightmare.A new comedy about life in Brexit Britain, the lies we tell to each other – and to ourselves.
Danny Boyle - Lust for Life
Danny Boyle - Lust for Life
Browning, Mark
¥98.00
Danny Boyle is one of contemporary filmmaking's most exciting talents. Since the early 1990s he has steadily created a body of work that crosses genres and defies easy categorisation, from black humour (Shallow Grave), gritty realism (Trainspotting), screwball comedy (A Life Less Ordinary), cult adaptations (The Beach), and horror (28 Days Later), to science fiction (Sunshine), children's drama (Millions), love stories (Slumdog Millionaire) and tales of personal redemption (127 Hours). Unlike many of his peers, Boyle seems most comfortable when working with modest budgets, relying on acting ability rather than special effects, and surrounding himself with a trusted team of writers, cinematographers and production designers. His restless energy, vitality and drive find their expression in the celebratory tone of his films - their lust for life.In this book, Mark Browning provides a rigorous but highly accessible analysis of Boyle's work, discussing the processes by which he absorbs generic and literary influences, the way he gains powerful performances both from inexperienced casts and A-list stars, his portrayal of regional identity, his use of moral dilemmas as a narrative trigger, and the religious undercurrents that permeate his films.