Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle ageHow should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkinIs there any future in being a MidwesternerCan you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plainHow come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half emptyIn more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.

Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips.From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say!"Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." Dave's mom"I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." Kris's mom"I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.

Part voyeuristic entertainment, part group therapy, Passive Aggressive Notes offers a fascinating look at the all-too-familiar frustrations of embattled office drones, apartment dwellers, parents, and pet owners everywhere. This curated collection combines dozens of outrageous, never-before-seen notes as well as favorites from Passive aggressivenotes.coma 2008 Webby Award Winner and the official "Best Blog" of the South by Southwest Interactive festival.

Buchbeschreibung: Jo Liebling erz?hlt die ungew?hnliche Liebesgeschichte zwischen Evelyn und Martin, die romantisch und z?rtlich beginnt und als Alptraum endet. Martin entpuppt sich als Narzisst. Evelyn begibt sich in eine ungesunde Opferhaltung und bringt sich damit in eine gef?hrliche Lage. Evelyn verliert ihr Ged?chtnis. Martin wird tot aufgefunden, fast nackt, mit einem String gekleidet und einem Eispickel im Hals. Die Spannung steigt. Es ist pur, auf den Punkt gebracht - Romantik, Erkenntnis, Dramatik und Mordaufkl?rung in einem Buch. Es lohnt sich!? www.echt-lieblich-verlag.de , kontakt@echt-lieblich-verlag.de.

The Vital Needs of the Dead is a tender coming-of-age story set in the provinces of the Soviet Union during the second half of the 20th century. At the center of this story, praised by Russian critics for its blend of realism and lyrical sensibility, lies the relationship of young Gosha Sidelnikov with his alluring and mysterious grandmother Rosa, who becomes his caregiver when he is virtually abandoned by his busy and distant parents. This relationship colors Sidelnikov’s subsequent forays into first love and sexual awakening. Even after her death, memories of Rosa accompany him into his adventures and misadventures as a provincial student. Then, one miserably cold winter night, her voice commands him to immediately depart for a place he’s never been before, precipitating a mysterious chain of events.

Women’s prose writing has exploded on the literary scene in Ukraine just prior to and following Ukrainian independence in 1991. Over the past two decades scores of fascinating new women authors have emerged. These authors write in a wide variety of styles and genres including short stories, novels, essays, and new journalism. In the collection you will find: realism, magical realism, surrealism, the fantastic, deeply intellectual writing, newly discovered feminist perspectives, philosophical prose, psychological mysteries, confessional prose, and much more.

Sarabande is a novel presented mostly through the rapid-fire interactions of the characters in one-on-one situations or in small groups. Most of the novel revolves around the male protagonist, the journalist Pavlo Dudnyk, who takes his schoolhood friend Sara Polonsky as his second wife. Sara, who blossomed from an inconspicuous overweight adolescent into a vivacious woman, used to mock him in school with the nickname “Underbutt” for his bony derriere that always needed padding on the classroom chairs. When Pavlo marries Sara, he doesn’t realize at first that he’s also married into her extended family, Sara’s band of Polonskys, with their myriad quirks and manifestations of peculiar behavior.

Moscow in the 1930s: A Novel from the Archives reveals Moscow as it was in a bygone age, a city now found only on old maps, but an era that continues to haunt us today. The novel features a wide cast of characters, who are all tied together by the author herself. The reader plunges into the remarkable Moscow literary scene of those days, and literature aficionados will encounter within a number of important locations for the history of Russian letters: the Dobrov house, Peredelkino, Lavrushinsky Lane, Borisoglebsky Lane – and also the names of legendary figures such as Olga Bessarabova, Maria Belkina, and Lydia Libedinskaya. History is brought to life: the author introduces the reader to Leonid Andreyev, leads us on a tour of the side-streets and alleyways of the Arbat district, and shows us the tattered notebooks of Olga Bessarabova. All this has long since fallen away into history, but now it proves so easily accessible to us.

"Reportajele din aceast? carte vorbesc despre aspecte din istoria recent?, cum ar fi migra?ia, corup?ia, via?a ?n penitenciare sau problemele minorit??ilor, ?nchiderea spitalelor sau stresul care schimb? vie?i, crizele din s?n?tate, pove?ti ale unor oameni obi?nui?i, care fac lucruri speciale. Reg?sim, ?ns?, ?i pove?ti de demult, cum e cazul reportajelor despre lupt?torii anticomuni?ti din mun?i, despre tezaurul de la Pietroasele sau istoriile din satele s?se?ti. Reportajele surprind realit??i dintr-o Rom?nie aflat? ?n continu? schimbare, cu enorme discrepan?e. Sunt ca o fotografie a realit??ii. Cine le cite?te afl? cum se tr?ia sau cum se tr?ie?te ?n anumite locuri. Cum se schimb? sau de ce nu se schimb? lucrurile ?i mentalit??ile. Cartea cuprinde 30 de reportaje publicate ?n revista Dilema veche, dar ?i adapt?ri dup? reportaje sau documentare radio difuzate la Europa FM ?i Radio Rom?nia Actualit??i. Reportajul e un gen mai rar ?nt?lnit ast?zi ?n presa din Rom?nia. Dar asta nu se ?nt?mpl? din cauza lipsei de interes a publicului, ci din pricina lipsei de bani ?i de investi?ii ?ntr-o pres? de calitate. De fiecare dat? c?nd totu?i apar reportaje bine f?cute, se constat? c? publicul le urm?re?te cu interes, tot a?a cum urm?re?te reportajele ?i documentarele oferite de televiziunile str?ine. Asta fiindc? oamenii au nevoie de pove?ti. Un reportaj bine f?cut este de fapt o poveste adev?rat?. P?n? la urm?, ?i aceast? carte este o carte cu pove?ti adev?rate." (Liliana Nicolae)

A salvo of hilarity from that loose canon of American humor that Mirth of a Nation editor Michael J. Rosen has culled from some 1200 pages of brilliantly original works by our best contemporary humorists. This action-packed compilation of highlights includes Bobbie Ann Mason's stint at the La Bamba hotline, David Rakoff's insights on families, Andy Borowitz's memoir of Emily Dickinson (basically, she was a drunken jerk), and Michael Feldman's helpful (re)locating of the Midwest.

A stunningly witty exploration of the American landscape -- not to mention a brilliant comic's mind -- this diary is chock-full of everything you ever wanted to know about Eric Idle, Monty Python, America, and sleeping on a bus. In these pages, the sixth-nicest Python is cheeky, touching, and funny when recounting the riotous tales of his beginnings, his affectionate reminiscences of his fellow Pythons, traveling the world, and taking us backstage at the smash Broadway hit Spamalot.Fascinating, moving, at times even amusing, this book will dramatically improve your sex life, will make you feel intelligent and charming within the first several pages, and after a few chapters, will permanently eliminate all your personal or health problems. So come experience eighty days, 15,750 miles, and forty-nine cities as you never have before!

The author of How to Be Idle, Tom Hodgkinson, now shares his delightfully irreverent musings on what true independence means and what it takes to be free. The Freedom Manifesto draws on French existentialists, British punks, beat poets, hippies and yippies, medieval thinkers, and anarchists to provide a new, simple, joyful blueprint for modern living. From growing your own vegetables to canceling your credit cards to reading Jean-Paul Sartre, here are excellent suggestions for nourishing mind, body, and spirit witty, provocative, sometimes outrageous, yet eminently sage advice for breaking with convention and living an uncluttered, unfettered, and therefore happier, life.

Everybody has that special someone in their life that they can't wait to get rid of. Whether it's a housekeeper, a therapist, or a personal trainer, the time comes when you have to pull the plug on the relationship.Featuring personal stories, useful *s, and interviews with experts such as Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser, funnyman Adam Carolla, and Michael Jackson's attorney, Thomas Mesereau, Dump 'Em is a practical guide for giving any bad relationship the boot. Jodyne L. Speyer provides a roadmap to finding your own way of saying "thanks, but no thanks." Written with honesty, empathy, and ruthless wit, Dump 'Em will teach you to conquer your fear of confrontation and master the art of the peaceful and permanent breakup. So what are you waiting forDump 'em!

Get revenge on all your annoying coworkers with this guide to 101 awesome office pranks Are your eyes beginning to glaze over from the fluorescent lights in your tiny cubicleHave you had one too many burnt cups of coffeeDoes the guy in the cube next to you insist on pencil-drumming while cranking "Hells Bells" and five-finger discounting your paper clipsIf your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you're in need of some Cubicle Warfare.With Cubicle Warfare, you'll never be bored at the office again. Make your coworkers jump, squeal, and run for cover with hilarious pranks such as the Paper Clip Chain, Bottomless Box, and the Sticky Note Office, as well as the more advanced Freezer Bomb, Chair Chaos, and Textless Keyboard. Even if you're not a prankster yourself, you can still use this riotous guide to recognize the warning signs and defend your desk from conniving coworkers. Bad days at the office will be a thing of the past.

Universal and timeless, Delia Ephron's How to Eat Like a Child is a delightful revisiting of the joys -- and tricky ploys -- of childhood. Made into a children's television special and a musical theater revue performed across the country each year, How to Eat Like a Child offers advice beyond the artful etiquette of food consumption. Ephron also teaches us "How to Laugh Hysterically," "How to Have a Birthday Party," "How to Torture Your Sister," and much, much more. As the Washington Post Book World noted, `After the giggles of recognition have subsided, one thing will be very clear: all adults are kids in grown-ups' clothing."

Kinky Friedman is back, and with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out he gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities from people he's known, like Bill Clinton, George W., Willie Nelson, and Bob Dylan -- not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit, such as Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House, marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, and cigars to the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations" (Rocky Mountain News) that are present in all his other work. Hilarious, irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.

Sir Peter Paul Rubens ( 28 June 1577 – 30 May 1640), was a Flemish Baroque painter, and a proponent of an extravagant Baroque style that emphasised movement, colour, and sensuality. He is well known for his Counter-Reformation altarpieces, portraits, landscapes, and history paintings of mythological and allegorical subjects.In addition to running a large studio in Antwerp that produced paintings popular with nobility and art collectors throughout Europe.. Early lifeRubens was born in the German city of Siegen, Westphalia to Jan Rubens and Maria Pypelincks. His father, a Calvinist, and mother fled Antwerp for Cologne in 1568, after increased religious turmoil and persecution of Protestants during the rule of the Spanish Netherlands by the Duke of Alba. Jan Rubens became the legal advisor (and lover) of Anna of Saxony, the second wife of William I of Orange, and settled at her court in Siegen in 1570; their daughter Christine was born in 1571. Following Jan Rubens's imprisonment for the affair, Peter Paul Rubens was born in 1577. The family returned to Cologne the next year. In 1589, two years after his father's death, Rubens moved with his mother Maria Pypelincks to Antwerp, where he was raised as a Catholic. Religion figured prominently in much of his work and Rubens later became one of the leading voices of the Catholic Counter-Reformation style of painting (he had said "My passion comes from the heavens, not from earthly musings").In Antwerp, Rubens received a humanist education, studying Latin and classical literature. By fourteen he began his artistic apprenticeship with Tobias Verhaeght. Subsequently, he studied under two of the city's leading painters of the time, the late Mannerist artists Adam van Noort and Otto van Veen. Much of his earliest training involved copying earlier artists' works, such as woodcuts by Hans Holbein the Younger and Marcantonio Raimondi's engravings after Raphael. Rubens completed his education in 1598, at which time he entered the Guild of St. Luke as an independent master. Italy (1600–1608)In 1600, Rubens travelled to Italy. He stopped first in Venice, where he saw paintings by Titian, Veronese, and Tintoretto, before settling in Mantua at the court of Duke Vincenzo I Gonzaga. The coloring and compositions of Veronese and Tintoretto had an immediate effect on Rubens's painting, and his later, mature style was profoundly influenced by Titian. With financial support from the Duke, Rubens travelled to Rome by way of Florence in 1601. Last decade (1630–1640)The Exchange of Princesses, from the Marie de' Medici Cycle. Louvre, ParisRubens's last decade was spent in and around Antwerp. Major works for foreign patrons still occupied him, such as the ceiling paintings for the Banqueting House at Inigo Jones's Palace of Whitehall, but he also explored more personal artistic directions.In 1630, four years after the death of his first wife, the 53-year-old painter married 16-year-old Hélène Fourment. Hélène inspired the voluptuous figures in many of his paintings from the 1630s, including The Feast of Venus (Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna), The Three Graces and The Judgment of Paris (both Prado, Madrid). In the latter painting, which was made for the Spanish court, the artist's young wife was recognized by viewers in the figure of Venus. In an intimate portrait of her, Hélène Fourment in a Fur Wrap, also known as Het Pelsken, Rubens's wife is even partially modelled after classical sculptures of the Venus Pudica, such as the Medici Venus. In 1635, Rubens bought an estate outside of Antwerp, the Steen, where he spent much of his time. Landscapes, such as his Ch?teau de Steen with Hunter (National Gallery, London) and Farmers Returning from the Fields (Pitti Gallery, Florence), reflect the more personal nature of many of his later works. He also drew upon the Netherlandish traditions of Pieter Bruegel the Elder for inspiration in later works like Flemish Kermis (c. 1630; Louvre, Paris).

Pe 1 mai 1915, c?nd Primul R?zboi Mondial intra ?n cea de a zecea sa lun?, un transoceanic de linie luxos, la fel de bogat decorat ca un conac englezesc de ?ar?, pleca din New York cu destina?ia Liverpool, av?nd la bord un num?r record de copii. ?n r?ndurile pasagerilor domnea o surprinz?toare stare de bun? dispozi?ie, de?i Germania declarase c? apele din jurul Marii Britanii constituiau o zon? de r?zboi. Luni de zile, submarinele germane sem?naser? teroarea ?n Atlanticul de Nord. Dar Lusitania era unul dintre marile transatlantice ale epocii, cel mai rapid vapor de linie aflat ?n serviciu, iar c?pitanul ei, William Thomas Turner, avea o ?ncredere de nestr?mutat ?n regulile stricte ale r?zboiului purtat de gentlemani, care feriser?, vreme de un secol, vasele civile de orice atac. Este o poveste pe care mul?i dintre noi cred c? o cunosc, f?r? a o ?ti cu adev?rat, iar Erik Larson ne-o readuce ?n aten?ie plin? de suspans, schimb?nd rolurile ?ntre v?n?tor ?i v?nat, ?n timp ce descrie un tablou mai general al Americii la apogeul Erei Progresului. Plin? de str?lucire ?i de emo?ie, Siajul mor?ii aduce la via?? o distribu?ie de personaje evocatoare, de la faimosul librar din Boston Charles Lauriat, la pioniera din domeniul arhitecturii Theodate Pope ?i la pre?edintele Woodrow Wilson, un om sufocat de suferin?? ?i ?ngrozit de perspectiva unui r?zboi mondial. Siajul mor?ii surprinde drama pur? ?i puterea emo?ional? a unui dezastru ale c?rui detalii intime ?i ?n?eles real riscau s? r?m?n? pierdute ?n negurile istoriei.

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.

The book all amateur digital photographers need – learn how to take the perfect photograph every time, from the authors of the bestselling Collins Complete Photography Course. In this book, John and Graeme apply their years of experience as professional photographers and instructors to teaching you the techniques and tips for capturing your friends and family, children and pets, holidays, sports days, celebrations, parties, festivals, weddings, births and birthdays. This book will show you the best way to photograph them all – every important person, place and memory you’ll want to treasure. Using the same practical, project based course structure that helped so many amateur photographers get to grips with their cameras in their bestselling Collins Complete Photography Course, John and Graeme will give you the confidence to get out your camera and start taking photos. Includes tips and advice on how to get the best out of your iphone and other mobile and point-and-shoots cameras as well as your digital SLR. John and Graeme’s warm and encouraging style will build your confidence, inspire your creativity and get you experimenting with your photos. With specially shot case studies and projects, step-by-steps, troubleshooting and project reviews you’ll be learning as you shoot right from the get go. Collins Complete Photography Projects is the natural follow-up to the Collins Complete Photography Course, benefiting those who have worked their way through the first one, but it will stand alone with a concise technical section that will bring new readers up to speed. A must have photography book for anyone with a digital camera and a little imagination.

Every year few millions of Americans start to study music. After one year 80% of them stop this studying. They are not talented enough? But what they are studying for whole year long. All music theory can be delivered for 30 minutes. In this book we deliver music theory in historical and logic succession demonstrating it on examples for playing piano and keyboards. This book really helps you.Every year few millions of Americans start to study music. After one year 80% of them stop this studying. They are not talented enough? But what they are studying for whole year long. All music theory can be delivered for 30 minutes. In this book we deliver music theory in historical and logic succession demonstrating it on examples for playing piano and keyboards. This book really helps you.