Does the thought of mistletoe give you hivesDoes the sound of jingling bellsinstill fear in your heartDo you hide under the covers from the day after Thanksgiving till New Year's DayAnd even if you love Christmas, do thehyperconsumerism, overindulgence, andtinsel-covered everything make you crazy?If you said yes to any of these questions, this is the book for you. You are not alone. Everyone has a Christmas-nightmare story to tell. Some of the best writers around have gone through some of the worst Christmases ever. Their tales of holly-draped horror are gathered here for your amusement, from NEAL POLLACK's Christmas-ham disaster to the accidental Santahood of JONI RODGERS to BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM's receiving what may be the worst gift ever given. And Stanley Bing gives us a peek at the lonely guy's Xmas feast. All this, plus many more recollections of Worst Noels past.So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, chisel off a piece of rock-hard fruitcake, and curl up in the big comfy chair by the fireplace where the stockings have been hung with such care -- and settle in to read The Worst Noel.

The modern woman has enough hassles without having to put up with the antics of the man in her life. Why endure another day of snoring, football, and wet towels on the floorWith this hilarious, fully illustrated guide, learn 101 reasons why you should dump your chump and hook up with a cat! So, besides the fact that your man's just not that into you, can he scratch his ear with his footIs he adorable when he pounces off the fridge onto your shoulderDo you get to watch him nudge another man aside and eat his foodAnd can you improve his mood by tossing a fuzzy mousie for him to chaseOf course not. There; that's four reasons to dump him and get a cat instead! Plus, you never have to remember how your cat takes his coffee. You don't need to pretend to your cat that you haven't had many other cats. And if your cat thinks your friends are hot, so whatFor every woman who's had enough of men, 101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat is the perfect gift—chock-full of humor, inspiration, and great advice. Why look for love in all the wrong places when it's right across the room chasing its own tail?

IBM is one of the greatest sales and marketing organizations ever assembled. Established over seventy years ago, it now employs 400,000 people and generates $50 billion a year in revenue. Yet it operates more like a cottage industry than a huge multinational organization.How does IBM do itThat's what even the most successful companies want to know. Now Buck Rodgers, the man who has personified "the IBM way," describes for the first time the reasons behind its extraordinary achievements. He has not written a company history, or an expose, or a book on management theory. He has written a book about everything that makes IBM IBM, as only an insider could.

Published to strong reviews and major media attention, this heartfelt and inspirational rags-to-riches memoir by the highly regarded CEO of Parade Publications tells the emotional story of how he came to terms with an identity and a family that he never knew he had until he reached middle age.Meant To Be begins when Anderson, a 21-year-old Marine returns from service to say goodbye to his dying father and tries to find the answer to a question that has inexplicably haunted him from his earliest years: Was the alcoholic, abusive man who has so tormented him in his childhood his real fatherShockingly, the answer turns out to be "No." Unbeknown to him, at least until that point, his mother, a German Protestant, fell in love during World War II with a Russian Jew and bore his child. Anderson learns this information as a young man but he and his mother keep this secret for another 35 years, until the day Anderson now an unusually successful publishing executive meets an unknown brother who, it turns out, has lived a nearly parallel life. Meant To Be is a love story, a journey of self-discovery and spirituality, and a provocative challenge to common notions about the role of heredity in our lives.

Dad SaidOlestad, we can do i t all. . . .Why do you make me do thisBecause it's beautiful when it all comes together.I don't think it's ever beautiful.One day.Never.We'll see, my father said. Vamanos.From the age of three, Norman Ollestad was thrust into the world of surfing and competitive downhill skiing by the intense, charismatic father he both idolized and resented. While his friends were riding bikes, playing ball, and going to birthday parties, young Norman was whisked away in pursuit of wild and demanding adventures. Yet it were these exhilarating tests of skill that prepared "Boy Wonder," as his father called him, to become a fearless champion and ultimately saved his life.Flying to a ski championship ceremony in February 1979, the chartered Cessna carrying Norman, his father, his father's girlfriend, and the pilot crashed into the San Gabriel Mountains and was suspended at 8,200 feet, engulfed in a blizzard. "Dad and I were a team, and he was Superman," Ollestad writes. But now Norman's father was dead, and the devastated eleven-year-old had to descend the treacherous, icy mountain alone.Set amid the spontaneous, uninhibited surf culture of Malibu and Mexico in the late 1970s, this riveting memoir, written in crisp Hemingwayesque prose, recalls Ollestad's childhood and the magnetic man whose determination and love infuriated and inspired him and also taught him to overcome the indomitable. As it illuminates the complicated bond between an extraordinary father and his son, Ollestad's powerful and unforgettable true story offers remarkable insight for us all.

In this poetic and haunting tale set in contemporary Appalachia, New York Times bestselling author Ron Rash illuminates lives shaped by violence and a powerful connection to the landLes, a longtime sheriff, is just weeks from retirement when he is forced to contend with the ravages of crystal meth—and his own corruption—in his small Appalachian town. Meanwhile, Becky, a park ranger with a harrowing past, finds solace amid the lyrical beauty of the North Carolina mountains.Enduring the mistakes and tragedies that have indelibly marked them, they are drawn together by a reverence for the natural world. When an embittered elderly local is accused of poisoning a trout stream on the property of a nearby resort, Les and Becky are plunged into deep and dangerous waters, forced to navigate currents of disillusionment and betrayal that will force them to question themselves and test their tentative bond—and threaten to carry them over the edge.Echoing the lapsarian beauty of William Faulkner and the spiritual isolation of Carson McCullers, Above the Waterfall demonstrates the prodigious talent of an author hailed as "a gorgeous, brutal writer" (Richard Price) and "one of the best American novelists of his day" (Janet Maslin, New York Times). Unforgettable and evocative, tragic and indelible, Above the Waterfall is a breathtaking achievement from a literary virtuoso.

Across the United States, children are vanishing. Only this time, faeries may not be to blame …Dante, Regent of the fae's Rogue Court, has been receiving disturbing reports. Human children are manifesting magical powers in record numbers. Shunned and forgotten, they live on the streets in ragtag groups with the already-booming population of homeless changelings. But the streets aren't a haven; someone, or something, is hunting these children down.Wraith, a teenage spell slinger, has no home, no family, and no real memories of her past. She and her friends SK, Fritz, and Shadow are constantly on the run, fleeing from a dark and unknown enemy. But when her companions are taken by "the snatchers," Wraith is their only hope. Her journey to find them will test the limits of her magic—and her trust. A dark force is on the rise, and it could spell the end of our world as we know it.

very great player knows that success in poker is part luck, part math, and part subterfuge. While the math of poker has been refined over the past 20 years, the ability to read other players and keep your own "tells" in check has mostly been learned by trial and error.But now, Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer specializing in nonverbal communication and behavior analysis or, to put it simply, a man who can tell when someone's lying offers foolproof techniques, illustrated with amazing examples from poker pro Phil Hellmuth, that will help you decode and interpret your opponents' body language and other silent tip-offs while concealing your own. You'll become a human lie detector, ready to call every bluff and the most feared player in the room.

Exploring the mystery, wisdom, and power of the dark phase of the moon's cycle--a lunar-based model for moving through the dark times in our lives with understanding, consciousness, and faith in renewal.The moon's dark phase has traditionally been a time of fear and superstition, a time associated with death and isolation. The mythical embodiment of these fears is the Dark Goddess. Known around the world by many names--Lilith, Kali, Hecate, and Morgana--the archetypal Dark Goddess represents death, sexuality, and the unconscious--the little understood, often feared aspects of life.Demetra George combines psychological, mythical, and spiritual perspective on the shadowy, feminine symbolism of the dark moon to reclaim the darkness from oppressive, fear-based images. George offers rites for rebirth and transformation that teach us to tap into the power of our dark times, maximizing the potential for renewal inherent in our inevitable periods of loss, depression, and anger.

Countless mothers of brides and grooms have asked Peggy Post for a wedding planner just for them. Here it is! Whether you're helping a little or a lot, or like most moms are serving as combination coach, diplomat, and troubleshooter, this planner is packed with useful ideas, including: Planning lists especially for moms Questions to ask before hiring wedding professionals Times when a mother's tactful advice is most helpful A Resources section with worksheets for keeping track of guests, gifts, budget, and more An Address Book you'll refer to again and again Peggy Post will help you navigate finances, guest list, ceremony, and reception details; interact with your daughter's or son's future in-laws; and plan your role (including your outfit!) while making memories to last a lifetime.

*Author will be named after the final show is aired in Australia*The winner of the hit TV show, The Apprentice, shows how anyone can become their own personal success in both business and life, using his or her own experiences as a self-made entrepreneur,his or her work ethic, top business strategies, and lessons learned competing on the show, working for Donald Trump and winning the most talked about reality shows in years.Foreword by Donald Trump.

For more than fifty years, the world C. S. Lewis created in Narnia has captured our hearts and imaginations. Both children and adults have discovered that rereading the books leads to entirely new experiences and insights. In the midst of these breathtaking stories of adventure, betrayal, and discovery in a magical land are profound messages about the true meaning of life. Whether it is Eustace struggling with his dragon skin, Digory debating obedience to Aslan versus saving his mother, or Edmund facing his shame after his rescue from the White Witch, the questions and dilemmas facing the characters are surprisingly relevant to us today. By pondering the world of Narnia, we better understand our own.In the first book of its kind, A Year with Aslan offers 365 of the most thought-provoking passages from all seven books, paired with reflective questions that get at the heart of what matters most. An unprecedented way to experience the magic of Narnia every day of the year, A Year with Aslan allows us all to go "Further up and further in!"

I broke up with God. The breakup was devastating. It was like a divorce when all the friends you had as a couple are forced to choose sides and end up not choosing yours. Sarah Sentilles's relationship with God was not casual. When it began to unravel she was in the ordination process to become an Episcopal priest, a youth minister at a church, and a doctoral student in theology at Harvard. You might say they were engaged and that the wedding was all planned. Calling it off would be more than a little awkward. But in the studying of the religion she'd been raised on and believed wholeheartedly, one day she woke up and realized . . . it was over. In this powerful memoir of faith, Sentilles reveals how deep our ties to God can be, and how devastating they can be to break. Without God to mold herself to and without religion as her *, who was she and what was her purposeHer relationship with God had been connected to everything her family, her friends, her vocation, the places she frequented, the language she used, and her way of being in the world.Not unlike after a divorce, she had to reorient her life and face a future that felt darkly unfamiliar. But this beautiful, brave book is surprisingly filled with hope, a coming-out story that lets others know it's safe to come out too, and that there's light on the other side.

A collection of thirty-six forty eerie, mysterious, intriguing, and very short stories by the acclaimed authors Stefan Bachmann, Katherine Catmull, Claire LeGrand, and Emma Trevayne. The Cabinet of Curiosities is perfect for fans of Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and anyone who relishes a good creepy tale. Great for reading alone or reading aloud at camp or school!The book features an introduction and commentary by the authors and black-and-white illustrations throughout.

A personal trainer to the stars and regular contributor to The Dr. Oz Show, Joel Harper has spent twenty years helping people achieve their weight-loss goals and optimally balancing every category of their lives. Over his career, he has witnessed firsthand thousands of health transformations and personal breakthroughs. But he's also seen time and time again how different people following the exact same regime will produce stunningly different results. Some people flourish, while others simply throw in the towel. So Harper set out to figure out why. By investigating cutting-edge research in the fields of neuroscience and neuropsychology, Harper soon discovered that people who are stuck struggling with excess weight have one thing in common—destructive self-talk and negative thinking patterns. That's right. The missing solution to successful—and long-lasting—weight loss isn't another fad diet. The secret, according to Harper, lies in tapping the power of your mind. In Mind Your Body, Harper explores the crucial—and often overlooked—connection between meals, moves, and mindset: meals to keep you nourished, moves that can be done in the comfort of your home, and the mindset to keep you motivated, inspired, and thriving. And in the process, he provides a "whole-istic" three-step weight-loss program that will help you quadruple your weight loss, maximize your workouts by 85 percent, and boost your happiness and energy levels by more than 40 percent—in just fifteen minutes a day.With Harper's proven, fun, and effective program, you'll be able to finally blast through those frustrating plateaus and achieve—once and for all—the physical, mental, and emotional health you desire. Harper teaches you the ten optimal traits that lead to successful nutritional, physical, and mental fitness. If you are tired of yo-yo dieting, fed up with hitting weight-loss plateaus, and ready to finally achieve the health and happiness that seem so elusive, Mind Your Body is the self-empowering and life-changing mind-body solution you've been waiting for.

FBI agent Jessica Blackwood believes she's left her complicated life as a gifted magician behind her . . . until a killer with seemingly supernatural powers puts her talents to the ultimate test.A hacker who identifies himself only as "Warlock" brings down the FBI's website and posts a code in its place that leads to a Michigan cemetery, where a dead girl is discovered rising from the ground . . . as if she tried to crawl out of her own grave.Born into a dynasty of illusionists, Jessica Blackwood is destined to become its next star—until she turns her back on her troubled family to begin a new life in law enforcement. But FBI consultant Dr. Jeffrey Ailes's discovery of an old magic magazine will turn Jessica's world upside down. Faced with a crime that appears beyond explanation, Ailes has nothing to lose—and everything to gain—by taking a chance on an agent raised in a world devoted to achieving the seemingly impossible.The body in the cemetery is only the first in the Warlock's series of dark miracles. Thrust into the media spotlight, with time ticking away until the next crime, can Jessica confront her past to stop a depraved killerIf she can't, she may become his next victim.

Her mother was a brainy knockout with the sultry beauty of Marilyn Monroe, a raconteur whose fierce wit could shock an audience into hilarity or silence. Her father was a distinguished figure in American letters, the National Book Award–winning author of four of the greatest novels of World War II ever written. A daughter of privilege with a seemingly fairy-tale-like life, Kaylie Jones was raised in the Hamptons via France in the 1960s and '70s, surrounded by the glitterati who orbited her famous father, James Jones. Legendary for their hospitality, her handsome, celebrated parents held court in their home around an antique bar an eighteenth-century wooden pulpit taken from a French village church playing host to writers, actors, movie stars, film directors, socialites, diplomats, an emperor, and even the occasional spy. Kaylie grew up amid such family friends as William Styron, Irwin Shaw, James Baldwin, and Willie Morris, and socialized with the likes of Truman Capote, Norman Mailer, George Plimpton, and Kurt Vonnegut.Her beloved father showed young Kaylie the value of humility, hard work, and education, with its power to overcome ignorance, intolerance, and narrow-mindedness, and instilled in her a love of books and knowledge. From her mother, Gloria, she learned perfect posture, the twist, the fear of abandonment, and soul-shattering cruelty. Two constants defined Kaylie's childhood: literature and alcohol. "Only one word was whispered in the house, as if it were the worst insult you could call someone," she writes, "alcoholic was a word my parents reserved for the most appalling and shameful cases drunks who made public scenes or tried to kill themselves or ended up in the street or in an institution. If you could hold your liquor and go to work, you were definitely not an alcoholic." When her father died from heart failure complicated by years of drinking, sixteen-year-old Kaylie was broken and lost. For solace she turned to his work, looking beyond the man she worshipped to discover the artist and his craft, determined that she too would write. Her loss also left her powerless to withstand her mother's withering barbs and shattering criticism, or halt Gloria's further descent into a bottle one of the few things mother and daughter shared. From adolescence, Kaylie too used drink as a refuge, a way to anesthetize her sadness, anger, and terror. For years after her father's death, she denied the blackouts, the hangovers, the lost days, the rage, the depression. Broken and bereft, she began reading her father's novels and those writers who came before and after him and also pursued her own writing. With this, she found the courage to open the door on the truth of her own addiction.Lies My Mother Never Told Me is the mesmerizing and luminously told story of Kaylie's battle with alcoholism and her struggle to flourish despite the looming shadow of a famous father and an emotionally abusive and damaged mother. Deeply intimate, brutally honest, yet limned by humor and grace, it is a beautifully written tale of personal evolution, family secrets, second chances, and one determined woman's journey to find her own voice and the courage to embrace a life filled with possibility, strength, and love.

150 of the World's Funniest and Most Delightful Christmas CardsKaren Robert has spent the last several years tracking down the wonderful and wacky Christmas cards represented in this book the best out of tens of thousands she has reviewed. Featuring everything from young couples in love, classic kids-'n'-dogs, and quirky workplace situations to every incarnation of Santa fat, thin, young, old, canine these cards will surprise you with their irrepressible creativity. Some are heartwarming, some are hilarious, some are simply strange but every single one was actually sent out as a Christmas card. So whether you're one of the millions of people who love all things Christmas, looking for inspiration for your own holiday card, or just a desperate Scrooge on the hunt for the perfect stocking stuffer, pick up Merry Christmas from . . . for a holiday pick-me-up.

One Person Can Make a Difference In search of adventure, twenty-nine-year-old Conor Grennan traded his day job for a year-long trip around the globe, a journey that began with a three-month stint volunteering at the Little Princes Children's Home, an orphanage in war-torn Nepal. Conor was initially reluctant to volunteer, unsure whether he had the proper skill, or enough passion, to get involved in a developing country in the middle of a civil war. But he was soon overcome by the herd of rambunctious, resilient children who would challenge and reward him in a way that he had never imagined. When Conor learned the unthinkable truth about their situation, he was stunned: The children were not orphans at all. Child traffickers were promising families in remote villages to protect their children from the civil war for a huge fee by taking them to safety. They would then abandon the children far from home, in the chaos of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu.For Conor, what began as a footloose adventure becomes a commitment to reunite the children he had grown to love with their families, but this would be no small task. He would risk his life on a journey through the legendary mountains of Nepal, facing the dangers of a bloody civil war and a debilitating injury. Waiting for Conor back in Kathmandu, and hopeful he would make it out before being trapped in by snow, was the woman who would eventually become his wife and share his life's work. Little Princes is a true story of families and children, and what one person is capable of when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. At turns tragic, joyful, and hilarious, Little Princes is a testament to the power of faith and the ability of love to carry us beyond our wildest expectations.

"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted. "Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'" "But how shall I absolve this dilemmaI have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly."It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!" Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid at all costs if you ever want your novel published. In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manu*-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manu* out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

Uniquely fusing practical advice on writing with his own insights into the craft, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Richard Rhodes constructs beautiful prose about the issues would-be writers are most afraid to articulate: How do I dare writeWhere do I beginWhat do I do with this story I have to tell that fills and breaks my heartRich with personal vignettes about Rhode's sources of inspiration, How to Write is also a memoir of one of the most original and celebrated writers of our day.