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万本电子书0元读

101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat
101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat
Katz, Molly
¥83.93
The modern woman has enough hassles without having to put up with the antics of the man in her life. Why endure another day of snoring, football, and wet towels on the floorWith this hilarious, fully illustrated guide, learn 101 reasons why you should dump your chump and hook up with a cat! So, besides the fact that your man's just not that into you, can he scratch his ear with his footIs he adorable when he pounces off the fridge onto your shoulderDo you get to watch him nudge another man aside and eat his foodAnd can you improve his mood by tossing a fuzzy mousie for him to chaseOf course not. There; that's four reasons to dump him and get a cat instead! Plus, you never have to remember how your cat takes his coffee. You don't need to pretend to your cat that you haven't had many other cats. And if your cat thinks your friends are hot, so whatFor every woman who's had enough of men, 101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat is the perfect gift—chock-full of humor, inspiration, and great advice. Why look for love in all the wrong places when it's right across the room chasing its own tail?
Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth
Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth
Teitell, Beth
¥140.08
Short of spending every waking hour engaged in antiaging treatments, is there anything the average woman can do to shave even a few months from her appearanceDo any of the miracle creams, procedures, or magic potions actually make a person look more youthfulDoes a woman have to worry about her nasolabial folds if she doesn't even know where they're located on her bodyVeteran journalist Beth Teitell aims to find the answers to these questions and many more in her hilarious travels looking for the elusive elixir of youth. If you feel bad about your neck (or any other body part), if the idea of Botox-filled syringes fills you with horror, if you don't want to empty your wallet to pay for $475 serums that promise to cheer up aging skin or the hourly cost of a facial-fitness coach, or if you don't believe the claims of antiaging gummy bears or age-defying bottled water, then Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth is the book for you. There's not a woman in America who won't see herself in Teitell's struggles or come away feeling that the enormous amount of energy, time, and money we spend trying to restore our bodies to the way they were when we were twenty could be better spent elsewhere. With honesty, outrage, and wit, Teitell goes deep into the youth-at-any-cost culture and takes it apart from the inside out. And then she reassures us that there is hope there are things we can do to look and feel younger, and ways we can learn to stop worrying about looking older.Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth is for every woman who isn't as young as she used to be a book of wisdom and advice, and a laugh-out-loud look at our age-obsessed culture.
My Drunk Kitchen
My Drunk Kitchen
Hart, Hannah
¥129.07
One day, sad cubicle dweller and otherwise bored New York transplant Hannah Hart decided, as a joke, to make a fake cooking show for her friend back in California. She turned on the camera, pulled out some bread and cheese, and then, as one does, started drinking. (Doesn't everyone cook with a spoon in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other?) The video went viral and an online sensation was born. My Drunk Kitchen includes recipes, stories, full color photos, and drawings to inspire your own culinary adventures in tipsy cooking. It is also a showcase for Hannah Hart's great comedic voice. Hannah offers key drink recommendations, cooking tips (like, remember to turn the oven off when you go to bed) and shares never-before-seen recipes such as: ?The Hartwich (Knowledge is ingenuity! Learn from the past!) ?Can Bake (Inventing things is hard! You don't have to start from scratch!) ?Latke Shotkas (Plan ahead to avoid a night of dread!) ?Tiny Sandwiches (Size doesn't matter! Aim to satisfy.) ?Saltine Nachos (It's not about resources! It's about being resourceful.) This is a book for anyone who believes they have what it takes to make a soufflé for the holiday party and show up the person who apparently has nothing better to do than bake things from scratch. It also recommends the drink you'll need to accompany any endeavor of this magnitude. In the end, My Drunk Kitchen may not be your go-to guide for your next dinner party . . . but it will make you laugh and drink . . . I mean think . . . about life.
The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me
The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me
Walter, Lisa Ann
¥145.49
Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of HollywoodThis hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the "celebrity adjacent" Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she'd kill for Richard Gere). She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime:Four words:Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don't even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you'll get free drinks! Always be seen with decrepit old men you'll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door.
Daddy, Stop Talking!
Daddy, Stop Talking!
Carolla, Adam
¥94.10
Last Will & Testament of Adam CarollaI, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article II appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article IITo my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.Article IIII devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
How Not to Act Old
How Not to Act Old
Satran, Pamela Redmond
¥83.03
How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . . Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids or themselves.
Fifteen Candles
Fifteen Candles
Lopez, Adriana V.
¥84.05
For the uninitiated, the quincea era celebrates the passage of a fifteen-year-old girl into adulthood: It's a bit bat mitzvah with a dash of debutante ball, and loaded with the same potential for hilarity and adolescent angst. In this original anthology, fifteen of the brightest and funniest Latino writers, men and women alike, share their own memories of these moving and often absurd extravaganzas tales of that unique form of familial humiliation that is borne of the best intentions, fierce love, and the infectious joy of parents finally allowing their little girl to grow up.
A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat
A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat
Kilpatrick, Joel
¥83.93
They're Going to Heaven . . . and They Know ItAt last, a complete, unsparing guide to evangelical Christians. This hilarious and highly useful manual, written by an insider, illuminates this rapidly growing and unique segment of America and offers a thoroughly entertaining, no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud survey of evangelical culture. See inside for the scoop on: What Evangelicals Believe -- Plus a Master List of Who Is Going to Hell How to Party Like an Evangelical -- Ambrosia, Li'l Smokies, and Potluck Fever The Diversity of Evangelical Politics -- From Right-Wing to Wacko Evangelical Mating Habits -- The Shocking Truth
The Dictionary of Love
The Dictionary of Love
Stark, John
¥83.93
In its more than three hundred pages, The Dictionary of Love gets to the heart of the matter: To rusticate is to get out of town with one's lover.A ballabust is a controlling wife or girlfriend.Bob Hope had the longest Hollywood marriage.Kinkalicious is your girlfriend in a teddy.Tahiti is an island where lovers do the 'upa'upa. From "afterglow" to "zipper," "Ikea" to "Twister," The Dictionary of Love is chockablock with everything you ever wanted to know about love but couldn't find in your Funk Wagnalls. The book draws from all areas of life: love songs, poems, history, law books, sex manuals, medical and psychology texts, folklore, modern science, cookbooks, classical literature, Internet dating sites, TV shows, and today's slang. What famous people best define loveAccording to The Dictionary of Love, they include Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Bill Clinton, Casanova, Lana Turner, Nefertiti, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Don Quixote, Ben & Jerry even Flipper and Lassie!Included, too, are charts, graphs, and illustrations, plus a G-spot directional map for women to give their boyfriend or lover. An indispensable tool for anyone who is composing a love sonnet, breaking up over e-mail, writing a romance novel, planning a romantic getaway, or just looking for something juicy to whisper in their lover's ear, The Dictionary of Love is a first-of-its-kind compendium of all things amorous.
Get Rich Cheating
Get Rich Cheating
Kreisler, Jeff
¥88.56
In these difficult times, there's only one proven path to ridiculous amounts of money: Cheating. Everyone's doing it from sleazy CEOs to 'roided-up home run kings, silicone-enhanced starlets, and backroom-dealing congressmen so why not youGet Rich Cheating is your definitive guide to the illegal, immoral, and fun, detailing the schemes that have proven time and time again to generate more cash than God, Google, and the Treasury combined. No one ever bought a fleet of Bentleys with hard work, perseverance, and honesty. Simply by purchasing this book, you've already done more than most "ethical" people dare. Open it, savor the moment, and inhale deeply in the musk of your impending wealth it's time to Get Rich Cheating.
How to Be Black
How to Be Black
Thurston, Baratunde
¥83.03
If You Don't Buy This Book, You're a Racist.Have you ever been called "too black" or "not black enough"Have you ever befriended or worked with a black personIf you answered yes to any of these questions, this book is for you.Raised by a pro-black, Pan-Afrikan single mother during the crack years of 1980s Washington, DC, and educated at Sidwell Friends School and Harvard University, Baratunde Thurston has over thirty years' experience being black. Now, through stories of his politically inspired Nigerian name, the heroics of his hippie mother, the murder of his drug-abusing father, and other revelatory black details, he shares with readers of all colors his wisdom and expertise in how to be black.Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be The Black Friend" to "How to Be The (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month."To provide additional perspective, Baratunde assembled an award-winning Black Panel three black women, three black men, and one white man (Christian Lander of Stuff White People Like) and asked them such revealing questions as:"When Did You First Realize You Were Black?""How Black Are You?""Can You Swim?"The result is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be."
Little Pink Raincoat
Little Pink Raincoat
Anders, Gigi
¥84.16
A little Coco Chanel, a lot Carrie Bradshaw, with a dash of Maureen Dowd a hip, hilarious collection of mini-profiles in shopping and romantic courage. From one very fabulous and elusive little pink raincoat (to woo the commitment phobe) to a pair of very persuasive peach panties (gift from a dazzling doc), author Gigi Anders relates her experiences as they deal with her dual obsessions of clothing and men. Here are ten vignettes chronicling ten choice sartorial items and the corresponding boyfriends that would undoubtedly love her stylishly ever after...even if they didn't.Featuring items and boyfriends from Anders's real life, real (extremely jammed) closet, and real bed, Little Pink Raincoat is a very tasty, very funny, universal, uplifting, pop cultural meditation on the things we crave and the lengths we'll go to get them.
It's Not Easy Bein' Me
It's Not Easy Bein' Me
Dangerfield, Rodney
¥77.49
An American comic icon tells the story of his second act rise from obscurity to multimedia stardom. "When I was a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I worked tough places in show business places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's. That was a tough joint. I looked at the menu. They had broken leg of lamb." For once, one of America's most beloved comic icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has seen every aspect of the entertainment industry: the rough and tumble nightclubs, the backstage gag writing sessions, the drugs, the hookers, the lousy day jobs and the red carpet star treatment. As he traces his route from a poor childhood on Long Island to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he takes readers on a roller coaster ride through a life that has been alternately touching, sordid, funny, raunchy, and uplifting equal parts "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula." And unlike most celebrity autobiographers, he seems to have no qualms about delivering the unfiltered whole story, warts and all. Dangerfield's personal story is also a rollicking show business tale, full of marquee name droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and good stories about same. Defying the old saws about the fleeting nature of fame and the dearth of second acts in American life, Dangerfield transformed himself from a debt ridden aluminium siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia superstar and stayed an icon for decades. His catchphrase "I get no respect" has entered the lexicon, and he remains a visible cultural presence and perennial talk show guest. Dangerfield's hilarious and inspiring musings should thrill comedy fans and pop culture watchers, and his second act comeback will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Maybe he'll even get some respect.
Imponderables
Imponderables
Feldman, David
¥72.01
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?Which fruits are in Juicy Fruit gumWhy do people cry at happy endings?Why do you never see baby pigeons?Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in Why Don't Cats Like to Swim-- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most perplexing questions. Part of the Imponderables series, Feldman's book arms readers with information about everyday life -- from science, history, and politics to sports, television, and radio -- that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. Where else will you learn what makes women open their mouths when applying mascara?
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Bobby Henderson
¥87.51
It all began in June 2005 when Bobby Henderson wrote an open letter to the Kansas School Board proposing a third alternative to the teaching of evolution and intelligent design in schools. Bobby is a prophet of sorts, the spiritual leader of a growing, world-wide group of followers who worship the teachings of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). The FSM appeared to Bobby as a giant ball of spaghetti, with meatballs for eyes, and touched Bobby with “His noodly appendage” – resulting in the revelation that the FSM is the real creator of the universe. The FSM faithful look to Bobby as their prophet and spiritual leader. Shortly after Bobby’s revelation a website (www.flyingspaghettimonster.org) came into existence to promote the word. Then came the articles, which were worldwide: The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian (UK), Die Welt (Germany), Surprise (Austria), and many others chimed in to report the existence of the FSM. Bobby received letters of support from academics and Kansas School Board members alike – not to mention a couple million hits per day on the website – and it was all-too-clear that there needed to be a book to lay out FSM *ure, rites and observances, proofs, and answers to the Big Questions. This is that book.
People in Watercolour (Collins 30-Minute Painting)
People in Watercolour (Collins 30-Minute Painting)
Trevor Waugh
¥66.02
This practical and inspirational guide, in a handy sketchbook format, is aimed at the practised beginner and shows how to achieve successful watercolour paintings of people in just 30 minutes – ideal for the busy amateur artist who doesn't have much time to paint. Many people think they don't have enough time to paint, but in this attractive guide Trevor Waugh encourages quick and simple painting. By working with just a few materials and focusing on the key techniques it is possible to achieve successful, realistic paintings of people in no more than half an hour. And for those artists who already have a little painting experience, learning to work more quickly enables them to free up their style and paint more spontaneously. All the key topics are covered, from watercolour techniques, colour and tone to learning about proportions, simple silhouettes, facial features, and backgrounds.
Digital SLR Handbook
Digital SLR Handbook
John Freeman
¥125.18
This is the definitive practical guide to getting the most out of your digital SLR camera, written by top working photographer, John Freeman. Full of inspiring photography and professional tips, it is ideal for all keen amateur photographers and those aspiring to move over from using a traditional film SLR camera. The digital single lens reflex (DSLR) camera is now the must-have camera for all serious amateur photographers. Whether you already own one or are thinking of making the move from a point-and-shoot digital camera or a film SLR, this practical guide will provide all the help, advice and inspiration you need. Chapters include: understanding the DSLR system, seeing the picture, photographing landscapes, nature, people, architecture, still life, action, getting more from your DSLR and post-production techniques.
A Certain Age
A Certain Age
Lynne Truss
¥62.59
From the bestselling author of ‘Eats Shoots & Leaves’, a wonderfully funny collection of twelve monologues. In the tradition of Alan Bennett's ‘Talking Heads’ come Lynne Truss's twelve bittersweet tales about love, romance, friendship and family. Her six men and six women each have very different stories to tell, ranging from the wife who feels better when her husband disappears to the pedant who undergoes a TV makeover and the swimmer who can't escape the shadow of her sister…but all are funny, touching and as beautifully observed as would be expected from the bestselling author. Whether describing fathers and daughters, married men, cat-lovers or ‘other women’, she is always brilliantly perceptive.
Grumpy Old Men on Holiday (Text Only)
Grumpy Old Men on Holiday (Text Only)
David Quantick
¥76.03
Following the phenomenal success of Grumpy Old Men, the quintessential grumpy old man, David Quantick, has taken a well-deserved holiday. But no matter where you go, there is always something to moan about. You're stuck behind endless caravans on the M4, waiting for a non-existent filthy train, hanging around looking at crap luggage in an airport. Is it going to be worth the effort? Of course is b****y well isn't. David Quantick here explores everything that makes the rest of the world different – and therefore worse – than Britain and lets us know exactly why it is safer to stay at home than to become grumpy old men on holiday. The indispensable guide to the grumpy old xenophobe in us all.
The English:A Field Guide
The English:A Field Guide
Matt Rudd
¥73.58
A hilarious field guide to the world’s most remarkable and unusual creatures: the English. Thanks to television documentaries by Bruce Parry and David Attenborough, we are better acquainted with the hunting rituals of the San bushmen and the mating habits of Papua New Guinean tribes than we are with the everyday lives of that most peculiar of species – the English. In ‘The English: A Field Guide’, Sunday Times journalist Matt Rudd, sets out to uncover what makes us, the English, tick. He will examine us in our natural habitats, starting with the living room and moving out to the kitchen, the garden, the commuter train, the office, the motorway, the high street, the sports stadium, the pub, club, bingo hall, balti house, beach and ending up in the bedroom. Hilarious, warm-hearted and surprisingly enlightening, ‘The English’ shines a strong searchlight on us all.
Pearl Lowe’s Vintage Craft:50 Craft Projects and Home Styling Advice
Pearl Lowe’s Vintage Craft:50 Craft Projects and Home Styling Advice
Pearl Lowe
¥114.48
Vintage designer Pearl Lowe shows you how to create the authentic vintage look in your own home with her expert advice and simple craft projects. This practical guide, complete with inspiring photography includes … ? 50 step-by-step craft projects ? Sewing, painting, upcycling and crafting secrets ? A how-to guide to sourcing your own vintage treasures ? And Pearl’s little black book of shops and suppliers An absolute must-have for lovers of vintage and all things handmade. Craft projects include … Dyed lace window panels Vintage bunting Midsummer and winter wreaths Gypsy-style apron Two-toned fringed lampshade Personalised rubber stamp Sumptuous padded headboard Upcycled chest of draws Antique ghost mirror Handmade vintage-style tiles The patterns and templates in this ebook are best viewed on an ereader that supports colour and has a zoom function.
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