万本电子书0元读

万本电子书0元读

The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me
The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me
Walter, Lisa Ann
¥145.49
Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of HollywoodThis hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the "celebrity adjacent" Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she'd kill for Richard Gere). She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime:Four words:Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don't even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you'll get free drinks! Always be seen with decrepit old men you'll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door.
The Worst Noel
The Worst Noel
Collected Authors of the Worst Noel
¥83.93
Does the thought of mistletoe give you hivesDoes the sound of jingling bellsinstill fear in your heartDo you hide under the covers from the day after Thanksgiving till New Year's DayAnd even if you love Christmas, do thehyperconsumerism, overindulgence, andtinsel-covered everything make you crazy?If you said yes to any of these questions, this is the book for you. You are not alone. Everyone has a Christmas-nightmare story to tell. Some of the best writers around have gone through some of the worst Christmases ever. Their tales of holly-draped horror are gathered here for your amusement, from NEAL POLLACK's Christmas-ham disaster to the accidental Santahood of JONI RODGERS to BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM's receiving what may be the worst gift ever given. And Stanley Bing gives us a peek at the lonely guy's Xmas feast. All this, plus many more recollections of Worst Noels past.So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, chisel off a piece of rock-hard fruitcake, and curl up in the big comfy chair by the fireplace where the stockings have been hung with such care -- and settle in to read The Worst Noel.
101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat
101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat
Katz, Molly
¥83.93
The modern woman has enough hassles without having to put up with the antics of the man in her life. Why endure another day of snoring, football, and wet towels on the floorWith this hilarious, fully illustrated guide, learn 101 reasons why you should dump your chump and hook up with a cat! So, besides the fact that your man's just not that into you, can he scratch his ear with his footIs he adorable when he pounces off the fridge onto your shoulderDo you get to watch him nudge another man aside and eat his foodAnd can you improve his mood by tossing a fuzzy mousie for him to chaseOf course not. There; that's four reasons to dump him and get a cat instead! Plus, you never have to remember how your cat takes his coffee. You don't need to pretend to your cat that you haven't had many other cats. And if your cat thinks your friends are hot, so whatFor every woman who's had enough of men, 101 Reasons to Dump Your Man and Get a Cat is the perfect gift—chock-full of humor, inspiration, and great advice. Why look for love in all the wrong places when it's right across the room chasing its own tail?
Daddy, Stop Talking!
Daddy, Stop Talking!
Carolla, Adam
¥94.10
Last Will & Testament of Adam CarollaI, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article II appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article IITo my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.Article IIII devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth
Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth
Teitell, Beth
¥140.08
Short of spending every waking hour engaged in antiaging treatments, is there anything the average woman can do to shave even a few months from her appearanceDo any of the miracle creams, procedures, or magic potions actually make a person look more youthfulDoes a woman have to worry about her nasolabial folds if she doesn't even know where they're located on her bodyVeteran journalist Beth Teitell aims to find the answers to these questions and many more in her hilarious travels looking for the elusive elixir of youth. If you feel bad about your neck (or any other body part), if the idea of Botox-filled syringes fills you with horror, if you don't want to empty your wallet to pay for $475 serums that promise to cheer up aging skin or the hourly cost of a facial-fitness coach, or if you don't believe the claims of antiaging gummy bears or age-defying bottled water, then Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth is the book for you. There's not a woman in America who won't see herself in Teitell's struggles or come away feeling that the enormous amount of energy, time, and money we spend trying to restore our bodies to the way they were when we were twenty could be better spent elsewhere. With honesty, outrage, and wit, Teitell goes deep into the youth-at-any-cost culture and takes it apart from the inside out. And then she reassures us that there is hope there are things we can do to look and feel younger, and ways we can learn to stop worrying about looking older.Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth is for every woman who isn't as young as she used to be a book of wisdom and advice, and a laugh-out-loud look at our age-obsessed culture.
President Me
President Me
Carolla, Adam
¥88.56
My fellow Americans,President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America.That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country.President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head.You're welcome in advance.Your future leader,Adam
Last of the Summer Wine (The Best of British Comedy)
Last of the Summer Wine (The Best of British Comedy)
Richard Webber
¥50.62
Compo: I thought you'd be open. Sid: Well that's a natural assumption if you ignore the drawn blinds and the forty foot sign that says closed. Set and filmed in and around Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, Last of the Summer Wine follows the adventures of three quirky pensioners and their equally unusual neighbours. A true British classic that appeals to all generations, it is our nation's longest running comedy programme. The line-up of the comedy trio has changed numerous times over the years, but the calibre of the family-friendly humour Roy Clarke creates has remained the same, and it's as funny and eccentric now as it was in the first episodes he wrote over 25 years ago. Including the pilot, broadcast ten months before the first series, 29 series, made up of 279 episodes, have been screened to date, with the 30th series set to air this autumn. The sitcom has consistently been a favourite in the ratings, with viewing figures peaking at 18.8 million in the mid-eighties. Famous fans include Prince Charles, the Queen Mother and the Queen, who said it was her favourite TV show. The Best of British Comedy - Last of the Summer Wine includes: ”? The History: an overview of how Last of the Summer Wine was born and developed ”? Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes ”? Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc. ”? Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full ”? A LOSW quiz 'If God's omnipotent, what could he possibly want with my old woman?' Clegg Compo: Your old lady's dog is crapping all over the pavement. Blamire: That's funny. He usually sews it up in little bags and sends it by post.
May Martin’s Sewing Bible e-short 6
May Martin’s Sewing Bible e-short 6
May Martin
¥15.60
The last of 6 eBook-only shorts from star of The Great British Sewing Bee and doyenne of the Women’s Institute, May Martin, including fabulous tips for making those difficult sewing techniques easy to master. May has been teaching sewing for over 40 years. From hems to facings May simplifies some of the trickiest methods in sewing for those already experienced and needing a little extra helping hand in the art of sewing. Beautifully styled and simple-to-follow, this authoritative sewing e-short, taken from May Martin’s Sewing Bible, offers three new approaches to some of the more complicated ways of sewing.
Life Moves Pretty Fast
Life Moves Pretty Fast
Hadley Freeman
¥66.22
Hadley Freeman brings us her personalised guide to American movies from the 1980s – why they are brilliant, what they meant to her, and how they influenced movie-making forever. For Hadley Freeman, American moves of the 1980s have simply got it all. Comedy in Three Men and a Baby, Hannah and Her Sisters, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future and Trading Places; all a teenager needs to know – in Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Say Anything, The Breakfast Club and Mystic Pizza; the ultimate in action – Top Gun, Die Hard, Young Sherlock Holmes, Beverly Hills Cop and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; love and sex – in 9 ? Weeks, Splash, About Last Night, The Big Chill, Bull Durham; and family fun – in The Little Mermaid, ET, Big, Parenthood and Lean On Me. Born in the late 1970s, Hadley grew up on a well-rounded diet of these movies, her entire view of the world, adult relations and expectations of what her life might hold was forged by these cult classics. In this personalised guide, she puts her obsessive movie geekery to good use, detailing the decades key players, genres and tropes, and how exactly the friendship between Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi influenced the evolution of comedy. She looks back to a cinematic world in which bankers are invariably evil, despite this being the decade of Wall Street, where children are always wiser than adults, and science is embraced with an intense enthusiasm, and the future viewed with excitement. She considers how the changes between movies then and movies today say so much about pop culture’s and society’s changing expectations of women, young people and art, and explains why Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles should be put on school syllabuses immediately.
Painting Expressive Watercolours
Painting Expressive Watercolours
Mike Chaplin,Diana Vowles
¥82.31
Mike Chaplin is one of the most popular art experts on the very successful Channel 4 series Watercolour Challenge. In this book he reveals how he works and puts forward his ideas and teaching methods, offering plenty of tips and practical advice for the amateur artist. This book is intended for artists with some painting experience who wish to develop their technique, style and outlook. It is a book to make them think and to push the technical and personal boundaries of what they believe they can achieve in paint. Mike’s teaching focuses not only on techniques but also on expanding the readers’ approach to their painting as a whole. Starting with a fascinating look at the development of watercolour as an expressive art, the book then covers selective techniques, both traditional and the more unusual, and topics such as observation, drawing, colour and composition. All kinds of painting subjects are included, from the natural landscape to urban scenes, and throughout the book Mike provides plenty of practical advice and useful tips about techniques. There are also a number of special features, focusing on particular aspects of painting, as well as several full step-by-step demonstration paintings.
The Little Book of Calorie Burning
The Little Book of Calorie Burning
Gill Paul
¥31.59
A quirky guide to counting the calories as they come off, through ways you may never have considered possible Exactly how long would you have to kiss in order to burn off a bottle of beer? Or how long would you have to argue with someone to burn off a Mars bar? From playing ping-pong to having sex (at different levels of intensity!), this little guide contains over 100 activities and their calorie-burning powers. For instance, have you ever thought about the calories you burn simply by eating and digesting? Activities are arranged A-Z and show the calories burned for four different weights (yes, sadly the heavier you are, the more calories you’ll burn even when asleep). Each entry also gives an example food, telling you how long you must do that activity to burn it off.
Letters of Not Lite
Letters of Not Lite
Dale Shaw
¥22.66
A text-only edition of the hilarious Letters of Not. A collection of remarkable and completely made-up correspondence from the great and the good across history. Many books have collated the exceptional letters and personal writing of the famous, offering a fascinating insight into well-known figures’ personal lives and hidden desires. But what of the undistinguished epistles of the renowned? Can their less auspicious musings divulge clues to their hopes and ambitions? Probably not. But they can be quite funny. ‘Letters of Not’ assembles the fictional jotted dross that was never before considered worthy of collection. The Post-it notes, the shopping lists, the failed limericks and the birthday card sentiments of history’s most celebrated sons and daughters. This ‘lite’ edition contains 6 never before seen letters. Inside you will find: Werner Herzog’s impassioned note to his cleaning lady Patti Smith’s gym application Captain Scott’s other last letter to his wife Salvador Dali’s to do list Mark E. Smith’s audio tour of Ripon Cathedral Harold Pinter greetings cards Pope Benedict’s handover notes James Joyce’s out of office Dr Heimlich’s other manoeuvre A letter from the table next to the Algonquin Round Table Tweets from the 1966 Newport Folk Festival Instructions on what to do when you meet Van Morrison And many more, beautifully rendered in their original, blatantly falsified glory and hilariously transcribed for your pleasure.
A Certain Age
A Certain Age
Lynne Truss
¥62.59
From the bestselling author of ‘Eats Shoots & Leaves’, a wonderfully funny collection of twelve monologues. In the tradition of Alan Bennett's ‘Talking Heads’ come Lynne Truss's twelve bittersweet tales about love, romance, friendship and family. Her six men and six women each have very different stories to tell, ranging from the wife who feels better when her husband disappears to the pedant who undergoes a TV makeover and the swimmer who can't escape the shadow of her sister…but all are funny, touching and as beautifully observed as would be expected from the bestselling author. Whether describing fathers and daughters, married men, cat-lovers or ‘other women’, she is always brilliantly perceptive.
Grumpy Old Men on Holiday (Text Only)
Grumpy Old Men on Holiday (Text Only)
David Quantick
¥76.03
Following the phenomenal success of Grumpy Old Men, the quintessential grumpy old man, David Quantick, has taken a well-deserved holiday. But no matter where you go, there is always something to moan about. You're stuck behind endless caravans on the M4, waiting for a non-existent filthy train, hanging around looking at crap luggage in an airport. Is it going to be worth the effort? Of course is b****y well isn't. David Quantick here explores everything that makes the rest of the world different – and therefore worse – than Britain and lets us know exactly why it is safer to stay at home than to become grumpy old men on holiday. The indispensable guide to the grumpy old xenophobe in us all.
Digital SLR Handbook
Digital SLR Handbook
John Freeman
¥125.18
This is the definitive practical guide to getting the most out of your digital SLR camera, written by top working photographer, John Freeman. Full of inspiring photography and professional tips, it is ideal for all keen amateur photographers and those aspiring to move over from using a traditional film SLR camera. The digital single lens reflex (DSLR) camera is now the must-have camera for all serious amateur photographers. Whether you already own one or are thinking of making the move from a point-and-shoot digital camera or a film SLR, this practical guide will provide all the help, advice and inspiration you need. Chapters include: understanding the DSLR system, seeing the picture, photographing landscapes, nature, people, architecture, still life, action, getting more from your DSLR and post-production techniques.
Collins Complete Photography Projects
Collins Complete Photography Projects
John Garrett,Graeme Harris
¥91.43
The book all amateur digital photographers need – learn how to take the perfect photograph every time, from the authors of the bestselling Collins Complete Photography Course. In this book, John and Graeme apply their years of experience as professional photographers and instructors to teaching you the techniques and tips for capturing your friends and family, children and pets, holidays, sports days, celebrations, parties, festivals, weddings, births and birthdays. This book will show you the best way to photograph them all – every important person, place and memory you’ll want to treasure. Using the same practical, project based course structure that helped so many amateur photographers get to grips with their cameras in their bestselling Collins Complete Photography Course, John and Graeme will give you the confidence to get out your camera and start taking photos. Includes tips and advice on how to get the best out of your iphone and other mobile and point-and-shoots cameras as well as your digital SLR. John and Graeme’s warm and encouraging style will build your confidence, inspire your creativity and get you experimenting with your photos. With specially shot case studies and projects, step-by-steps, troubleshooting and project reviews you’ll be learning as you shoot right from the get go. Collins Complete Photography Projects is the natural follow-up to the Collins Complete Photography Course, benefiting those who have worked their way through the first one, but it will stand alone with a concise technical section that will bring new readers up to speed. A must have photography book for anyone with a digital camera and a little imagination.
The English:A Field Guide
The English:A Field Guide
Matt Rudd
¥73.58
A hilarious field guide to the world’s most remarkable and unusual creatures: the English. Thanks to television documentaries by Bruce Parry and David Attenborough, we are better acquainted with the hunting rituals of the San bushmen and the mating habits of Papua New Guinean tribes than we are with the everyday lives of that most peculiar of species – the English. In ‘The English: A Field Guide’, Sunday Times journalist Matt Rudd, sets out to uncover what makes us, the English, tick. He will examine us in our natural habitats, starting with the living room and moving out to the kitchen, the garden, the commuter train, the office, the motorway, the high street, the sports stadium, the pub, club, bingo hall, balti house, beach and ending up in the bedroom. Hilarious, warm-hearted and surprisingly enlightening, ‘The English’ shines a strong searchlight on us all.
Pearl Lowe’s Vintage Craft:50 Craft Projects and Home Styling Advice
Pearl Lowe’s Vintage Craft:50 Craft Projects and Home Styling Advice
Pearl Lowe
¥114.48
Vintage designer Pearl Lowe shows you how to create the authentic vintage look in your own home with her expert advice and simple craft projects. This practical guide, complete with inspiring photography includes … ? 50 step-by-step craft projects ? Sewing, painting, upcycling and crafting secrets ? A how-to guide to sourcing your own vintage treasures ? And Pearl’s little black book of shops and suppliers An absolute must-have for lovers of vintage and all things handmade. Craft projects include … Dyed lace window panels Vintage bunting Midsummer and winter wreaths Gypsy-style apron Two-toned fringed lampshade Personalised rubber stamp Sumptuous padded headboard Upcycled chest of draws Antique ghost mirror Handmade vintage-style tiles The patterns and templates in this ebook are best viewed on an ereader that supports colour and has a zoom function.
?uvres Complètes De Charles Baudelaire
?uvres Complètes De Charles Baudelaire
Charles Baudelaire
¥18.00
uvres Complètes De Charles Baudelaire
Desaparecer
Desaparecer
Noel Dignity
¥0.01
Desaparecer
While I wait for my turn
While I wait for my turn
Piereh Antoni
¥7.72
While I wait for my turn
5 6 7 8 9 10 11