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万本电子书0元读

Daddy, Stop Talking!
Daddy, Stop Talking!
Carolla, Adam
¥94.10
Last Will & Testament of Adam CarollaI, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article II appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article IITo my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.Article IIII devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
Art of the Film: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Art of the Film: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Dermot Power
¥279.90
Step inside the world of the talented art departments who, led by Academy Award?-winning production designer Stuart Craig, were responsible for the creation of the unforgettable characters, locations and beasts from the eagerly anticipated new adventure in J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World.The Art of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, edited by Dermot Power, concept artist on the film, takes you on a magical journey through a design process every bit as wonderful as that encountered by Newt Scamander in the wizarding world: from the earliest gatherings of the artists, designers and filmmakers to the magical time of the film’s production itself at Leavesden Studios.Bursting with hundreds of production paintings, concept sketches, storyboards, blueprints and matte paintings, and filled with unique insights about the filmmaking journey from Stuart Craig and the artists themselves, this superb book – officially licensed by Warner Bros. Consumer Products – presents a visual feast for readers, and will welcome fans of Harry Potter films into the world of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Last of the Summer Wine (The Best of British Comedy)
Last of the Summer Wine (The Best of British Comedy)
Richard Webber
¥50.62
Compo: I thought you'd be open. Sid: Well that's a natural assumption if you ignore the drawn blinds and the forty foot sign that says closed. Set and filmed in and around Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, Last of the Summer Wine follows the adventures of three quirky pensioners and their equally unusual neighbours. A true British classic that appeals to all generations, it is our nation's longest running comedy programme. The line-up of the comedy trio has changed numerous times over the years, but the calibre of the family-friendly humour Roy Clarke creates has remained the same, and it's as funny and eccentric now as it was in the first episodes he wrote over 25 years ago. Including the pilot, broadcast ten months before the first series, 29 series, made up of 279 episodes, have been screened to date, with the 30th series set to air this autumn. The sitcom has consistently been a favourite in the ratings, with viewing figures peaking at 18.8 million in the mid-eighties. Famous fans include Prince Charles, the Queen Mother and the Queen, who said it was her favourite TV show. The Best of British Comedy - Last of the Summer Wine includes: ”? The History: an overview of how Last of the Summer Wine was born and developed ”? Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes ”? Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc. ”? Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full ”? A LOSW quiz 'If God's omnipotent, what could he possibly want with my old woman?' Clegg Compo: Your old lady's dog is crapping all over the pavement. Blamire: That's funny. He usually sews it up in little bags and sends it by post.
The Little Book of Calorie Burning
The Little Book of Calorie Burning
Gill Paul
¥31.59
A quirky guide to counting the calories as they come off, through ways you may never have considered possible Exactly how long would you have to kiss in order to burn off a bottle of beer? Or how long would you have to argue with someone to burn off a Mars bar? From playing ping-pong to having sex (at different levels of intensity!), this little guide contains over 100 activities and their calorie-burning powers. For instance, have you ever thought about the calories you burn simply by eating and digesting? Activities are arranged A-Z and show the calories burned for four different weights (yes, sadly the heavier you are, the more calories you’ll burn even when asleep). Each entry also gives an example food, telling you how long you must do that activity to burn it off.
The Garden in the Clouds: From Derelict Smallholding to Mountain Paradise
The Garden in the Clouds: From Derelict Smallholding to Mountain Paradise
Antony Woodward
¥66.22
A warm, witty memoir of one man’s escape from the city in an unlikely quest to create out of a mountainous Welsh landscape a garden fit for inclusion in the prestigious Yellow Book – the ‘Gardens of England and Wales Open for Charity’ guide – in just one year. It was a derelict smallholding so high up in the Black Mountains of Wales it was routinely lost in cloud. But to Antony Woodward, Tair-Ffynnon was the most beautiful place in the world. Equally ill-at-ease in town and country after too long in London’s ad-land, Woodward bought Tair-Ffynnon because he yearned to reconnect with the countryside he never felt part of as a child. But what excuse could he invent to move there permanently? The solution, he decided, was a garden. In just a year he’d create a garden so special it would be selected for the prestigious Yellow Book – the famous National Gardens Scheme guide to gardens open to the public for charity. It’s an unlikely ambition to entertain in this most unlikely of settings, and one that soon sees Woodward driven by odder and odder compulsions – from hauling a 20-tonne railway carriage up the mountain to making hay with hopelessly antiquated machinery. The path to Woodward’s elusive sense of belonging turns out to be a rocky and winding one, taking in childhood haunts, children’s books and Proustian nostalgia trips. As the family battles gales, mud and Welsh mountain sheep of marble-eyed cunning, not to mention the notoriously fastidious NGS County Organiser, it remains deeply uncertain whether the ‘Not Garden’ and the ‘infinity vegetable patch’ (that grows only stones) will ever make the grade… Warm, thought-provoking and brilliantly funny, this is a memoir of a hopeless romantic with a grandly ludicrous ambition – an ambition to which anyone who’s ever dropped into a garden centre, or opened a packet of seeds, has already succumbed.
Life Moves Pretty Fast
Life Moves Pretty Fast
Hadley Freeman
¥66.22
Hadley Freeman brings us her personalised guide to American movies from the 1980s – why they are brilliant, what they meant to her, and how they influenced movie-making forever. For Hadley Freeman, American moves of the 1980s have simply got it all. Comedy in Three Men and a Baby, Hannah and Her Sisters, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future and Trading Places; all a teenager needs to know – in Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Say Anything, The Breakfast Club and Mystic Pizza; the ultimate in action – Top Gun, Die Hard, Young Sherlock Holmes, Beverly Hills Cop and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; love and sex – in 9 ? Weeks, Splash, About Last Night, The Big Chill, Bull Durham; and family fun – in The Little Mermaid, ET, Big, Parenthood and Lean On Me. Born in the late 1970s, Hadley grew up on a well-rounded diet of these movies, her entire view of the world, adult relations and expectations of what her life might hold was forged by these cult classics. In this personalised guide, she puts her obsessive movie geekery to good use, detailing the decades key players, genres and tropes, and how exactly the friendship between Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi influenced the evolution of comedy. She looks back to a cinematic world in which bankers are invariably evil, despite this being the decade of Wall Street, where children are always wiser than adults, and science is embraced with an intense enthusiasm, and the future viewed with excitement. She considers how the changes between movies then and movies today say so much about pop culture’s and society’s changing expectations of women, young people and art, and explains why Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles should be put on school syllabuses immediately.
Painting Expressive Watercolours
Painting Expressive Watercolours
Mike Chaplin,Diana Vowles
¥82.31
Mike Chaplin is one of the most popular art experts on the very successful Channel 4 series Watercolour Challenge. In this book he reveals how he works and puts forward his ideas and teaching methods, offering plenty of tips and practical advice for the amateur artist. This book is intended for artists with some painting experience who wish to develop their technique, style and outlook. It is a book to make them think and to push the technical and personal boundaries of what they believe they can achieve in paint. Mike’s teaching focuses not only on techniques but also on expanding the readers’ approach to their painting as a whole. Starting with a fascinating look at the development of watercolour as an expressive art, the book then covers selective techniques, both traditional and the more unusual, and topics such as observation, drawing, colour and composition. All kinds of painting subjects are included, from the natural landscape to urban scenes, and throughout the book Mike provides plenty of practical advice and useful tips about techniques. There are also a number of special features, focusing on particular aspects of painting, as well as several full step-by-step demonstration paintings.
Trusts a Practical Guide
Trusts a Practical Guide
Terence O'halloran
¥24.44
Within the genre of financial selfhelp, ‘Trusts A Practical Guide’ is an invaluable and rare resource for financial experts and members of the public alike who need a reference work on a subject that is, on the face of it, complex but which undeniably affects many people’s lives at one point or another. Whatever your occupation or background, you are almost certain at some time to need some understanding of this subject, whether in your own financial planning or in advising those around you – and this guide is particularly helpful when dealing with a relative’s probate or the complex issues arising from an inheritance.After thirtyfive years at the top of his profession, FSA member Terry O'Halloran writes passionately and informatively, not only about his subject but also about the importance of spreading the word to others. He has seen many times first hand the benefits of wellorganized and implemented financial planning on people’s lives. More poignantly, he has seen what can happen when such matters are left to chance.Using famous historical characters, placing them in recognizable situations and using real life case histories, he explains the organization and procedure of Trusts simply and easily bringing his subject alive by putting it in a perspective that is easily assimilated by the layman. Terry O'Halloran clearly explains the intricacies of Trusts and confronts their realities with reallife examples such as a family case involving a number of exwives, a business partnership that goes very expensively wrong and even the attempted murder of a director and removal of the wouldbe assassin (as a Trustee). Building the full picture from simple steps, the author explains the merits or otherwise of trusts and their uses with life assurance and pension products. “Trusts are the most important adjunct to life assurance, business protection, estate planning and pension provision. A basic understanding is essential,” he insists. After searching in vain for a book for his own use, the need for a reference book on this subject was clear. “I needed a reference book that I could refer to during the working day but which would also be simple enough for any of my clients to understand. So I wrote one – in fact I had to write it because there was simply nothing suitable in existence. Moreover, I use it all the time. My own copies are dogeared from use.” “I believe,’ Trusts’ is a practical tool for the professional’s everyday use and a good guide for the layman.
It Books
It Books
Tyler, Aisha
¥139.90
self-inflicted wound (n): a spectacularly humiliating, and often hilarious, incident entirely of one's own making. see also: you did it to yourself.Have you ever made a decision you instantly regrettedHumiliated yourself in a room of your peers, or shamed yourself in front of your massive crushEver blown a job interview, frozen during a presentation, acted like a total idiot on a dateEver said the wrong thing at the wrong time, unable to keep your tongue from flapping out the stupidest words you've ever said in your life, everIf you are a human being, the answer, of course, is yes. Take heart. You're not alone. This is known as the Self-Inflicted Wound, and every one of us bears a scar. Or several. Here, Aisha Tyler, comedian, actress, cohost of CBS's The Talk, star of Archer, and creator of the top-ranked podcast Girl on Guy, serves up a spectacular collection of her own self-inflicted wounds. From almost setting herself on fire, to vomiting on a boy she liked, to getting drunk and sleeping through the SATs, to going into crushing debt to pay for college and then throwing away her degree to become a comedian, Aisha's life has been a series of spectacularly epic fails. And she's got the scars to prove it. Literally.Through it all, Aisha's triumphs haven't come in spite of the failures, but because of them. Because with every failure comes a lesson learned, a strength revealed, a fear overcome, or an adventure braved. Self-Inflicted Wounds isn't just about surviving failure. It's about embracing failure pursuing it, even on the winding path to success. And after you've failed a time or three, hopefully you'll have learned something. Or at the very least have a really killer story. Because to err is human, but to fail epically is hilarious.
My World of Love and Happinness
My World of Love and Happinness
Marko Hesky
¥32.62
My World of Love and Happinness
Beyond Pentatonics
Beyond Pentatonics
Graham Tippett
¥40.79
Beyond Pentatonics
Hotel California: Singer-songwriters and Cocaine Cowboys in the L.A. Canyons 196
Hotel California: Singer-songwriters and Cocaine Cowboys in the L.A. Canyons 196
Barney Hoskyns
¥85.74
Rock historian Barney Hoskyns is the author of nine books and has written about music and pop culture for numerous publications including NME, The Times, Guardian, Vogue and Mojo, of which he was Associate Editor. He lives in London.
Idle Worship (Text Only Edition)
Idle Worship (Text Only Edition)
Chris Roberts
¥46.11
SO I’VE JUST GOT UP THE STAIRS with my piping hot fish and chips and the phone’s ringing. I put my fish and chips on top of the stove, which hasn’t worked for eighteen months, and think: this better be quick. ‘Yeah?’ I snarl with all the hostility I can muster.
Adele
Adele
Sean Smith
¥66.22
Sean Smith is the UK’s leading celebrity biographer and the author of six Sunday Times bestsellers, with his titles being translated throughout the world. Described by the Independent as a ‘fearless chronicler’, he specialises in meticulous research, going ‘on the road’ to find the real person behind the star image.
A Homemade Christmas
A Homemade Christmas
Tina Barseghian
¥44.24
Making something with your own hands—whether it's a plate of just-baked cookies, a handcrafted stocking, a homemade wreath, or a hand-folded origami ornament—is a great way to connect with the true meaning of Christmas. From holiday decorating to gift giving, A Homemade Christmas is chock-full of projects, recipes, tips, and helpful hints that are guaranteed to add a homemade touch to your holiday season. Open this charming volume to any page and discover a wealth of practical and easy-to-accomplish ideas for a homemade holiday: - create personal, distinctive holiday greetings - deck the halls with festive, handmade trimmings - cook simple but memorable homemade dishes - make unique, handcrafted gifts - share the joy of the season with friends and family Packed with inspiration and how-tos for ideas that are family-friendly and eco-conscious, festive and meaningful, A Homemade Christmas will put homemade back into your holidays!
One on One
One on One
Craig Brown
¥68.67
101 chance meetings, juxtaposing the famous and the infamous, the artistic and the philistine, the pompous and the comical, the snobbish and the vulgar, told by Britain’s funniest writer. Life is made up of humans meeting one another. They speak, or don’t speak. They get on, or fall out. They laugh, they cry, are excited, are indifferent. One on One is a chain of 101 extraordinary but true encounters, from Tolstoy rumbling Tchaikovsky in 1876 to George Galloway baiting Michael Barrymore in 2006. The Royal Family giggle at T.S. Eliot, Walter Sickert draws the curtains on the carol-singing Edward Heath, Youssoupoff assassinates Rasputin, Marilyn Monroe commissions Frank Lloyd Wright. Circular in its construction, panoramic in its breadth, One on One is a book like no other. ‘Brown’s glorious book is an original and a complete delight’ Miranda Seymour, Sunday Times, Books of the Year
The Big Book of Celebrity Inventions
The Big Book of Celebrity Inventions
Mark Champkins,Peter Jones
¥95.75
Due to the complicated layout, this ebook is best viewed on a tablet. Ever wanted to see Harry Hill’s nuts? Fancy a cuppa with Karl Pilkington and his Clippable Coasters? Ever wondered how Michael Jackson defied gravity with his dance moves? Then read on! Our nation’s best-loved celebrities, from Jamie Oliver to Harry Hill, the Stig to Sherrie Hewson, Karl Pilkington to Peter Jones, Ruby Wax and beyond, have been scratching their heads to come up with logic-defying, bizarre and random inventions to improve our lives. From shrink rays to teleporters, foldable skis to airbags for clothes and a vacuum-cleaner that sucks away your wrinkles, you’ll be amazed by what these celebs have been dreaming up in their spare time! The Big Book of Celebrity Inventions offers a fascinating, hilarious and utterly unique look at the extraordinary business of inventing, seen through the eyes of our favourite stars. And there are even ones that work! For example: ? Did you know that Margaret Thatcher invented soft-scoop ice cream? ? That Prince invented a space-age musical keyboard? ? Or that Roald Dahl helped advances in neurosurgery? From the ridiculous to the sublime and those that fail magnificently, one thing’s for certain: The Big Book of Celebrity Inventions is the ultimate celebration of oddness, originality and ingenuity, sure to fascinate, baffle and inspire you!
How to predict the weather with a cup of coffee: And other techniques for surviv
How to predict the weather with a cup of coffee: And other techniques for surviv
Matthew Cole
¥69.26
How to predict the weather with a cup of coffee and other essential techniques for surviving the 9-5 A smart, spoof survival guide – to the 9-5. Ray Mears’ and Bruce Parry’s advice is all very well if you’re stuck up the Amazon without a paddle, but what about finding your way to a seat on a crowded bus, predicting the weather with a coffee in Starbucks or getting rid of cold callers with a microwave? Urban Bushcraft shows how to dust off your native survival instincts and update them for the modern world – whether it’s negotiating the car park at Ikea, anti-interrogation techniques at customer service desks, or navigating by electricity pylon. Harnessing the laws of science, nature and human behaviour, this book revisits and reinvents the tricks that got us through our savage past and updates them for the 21st century. It arms you with a caveman’s toolkit for survival wherever you may be – Starbucks, the office, or a crowded tube on a Friday night – and tells you all you need to know to transform your daily grind into a non-stop adventure (you don’t even have to wear khaki).
Dad’s Army (The Best of British Comedy)
Dad’s Army (The Best of British Comedy)
Richard Webber
¥50.62
People shout the "Don't tell him, Pike!" line at me regularly - and I didn't even say it!' Philip Madoc.In the annals of British television, no finer example of classic comedy exists than in the shape of Dad's Army, the Home Guard-based sitcom written by veteran writers Jimmy Perry and David Croft. Although they penned many other sterling programmes, including Hi-De-Hi! and the underrated You Rang, M'Lord?, they'll forever be remembered for their brilliant wartime comedy spotlighting the antics of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard, led by the irascible and pompous Captain Mainwaring.Between 1968 and '77, nine series and three Christmas Specials - totalling 80 instalments - were screened, much to the delight of the millions of fans who tuned in; but the show's popularity has continued unabated and even today, four decades since the platoon marched onto the scene, it remains one of the golden offerings from the sitcom genre.With the 40th anniversary of Dad's Army in 2008, what better time to celebrate the magic of this show.The Best of British Comedy - Dad's Army includes:”? The History: an overview of how Dad's Army was born and developed”? Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes from the programme”? Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc.”? Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full”? A Dad's Army quizEpisode: 'Something Nasty in the Vault'Mainwaring and Wilson are stuck in the bank's strong room. There has been an air raid and they've ended up holding an unexploded bomb. Pike arrives.Pike: Uncle Arthur?Wilson: Oh, what it is, Frank?Pike: Do you think I ought to phone mum and tell her you're holding a bomb?Wilson: No!Pike: But she might get cross if she found out that you'd been holding a bomb and she wasn't told about it.
364 Days of Tedium: or What Santa Gets up to on his Days Off
364 Days of Tedium: or What Santa Gets up to on his Days Off
Dave Cornmell
¥66.22
Ever wondered what Santa gets up to the rest of the year? You’ll wish you hadn’t! For 364 days of the year Santa has bugger all to do. The elves do all the manual labour and these days he orders all the presents online. All he has to do is deliver them. So, for the rest of the time he is bored out of his tiny mind. Dave Cornmell’s brilliant and inspired comic strip is an irreverent and incredibly rude look at Santa’s real life featuring an hilarious cast of characters including Mrs Claus, the elves, reindeer, a variety of arctic wildlife, Santa’s bath toys and some maggots. Find our where Santa goes on holiday, what he does with his bin bags, what he watches on telly, how he copes when his wife goes away and whether or not the rumours are true about him and Vixen. Whatever your idealised image of Santa may be, the truth is that he’s just a bored fat bloke who hates his job. Get used to it.
Power Moves
Power Moves
Welzein, Karl
¥90.90
Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.