As in the case of "The Bases of Design," to which this is intended to form a companion volume, the substance of the following chapters on Line and Form originally formed a series of lectures delivered to the students of the Manchester Municipal School of Art. There is no pretension to an exhaustive treatment of a subject it would be difficult enough to exhaust, and it is dealt with in a way intended to bear rather upon the practical work of an art school, and to be suggestive and helpful to those face to face with the current problems of drawing and design. These have been approached from a personal point of view, as the results of conclusions arrived at in the course of a busy working life which has left but few intervals for the elaboration of theories apart from practice, and such as they are, these papers are now offered to the wider circle of students and workers in the arts of design as from one of themselves. They were illustrated largely by means of rough sketching in line before my student audience, as well as by photographs and drawings. The rough diagrams have been re-drawn, and the other illustrations reproduced, so that both line and tone blocks are used, uniformity being sacrificed to fidelity.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?WALTER CRANE. Outline, one might say, is the Alpha and Omega of Art. It is the earliest mode of expression among primitive peoples, as it is with the individual child, and it has been cultivated for its power of characterization and expression, and as an ultimate test of draughtsmanship, by the most accomplished artists of all time. The old fanciful story of its origin in the work of a lover who traced in charcoal the boundary of the shadow of the head of his sweetheart as cast upon the wall by the sun, and thus obtained the first profile portrait, is probably more true in substance than in fact, but it certainly illustrates the function of outline as the definition of the boundaries of form.Silhouette As children we probably perceive forms in nature defined as flat shapes of colour relieved upon other colours, or flat fields of light on dark, as a white horse is defined upon the green grass of a field, or a black figure upon a background of snow.Definition of BoundariesTo define the boundaries of such forms becomes the main object in early attempts at artistic expression. The attention is caught by the edges—the shape of the silhouette which remains the paramount means of distinction of form when details and secondary characteristics are lost; as the outlines of mountains remain, or are even more clearly seen, when distance subdues the details of their structure, and evening mists throw them into flat planes one behind the other, and leave nothing but the delicate lines of their edges to tell their character. We feel the beauty and simplicity of such effects in nature. We feel that the mind, through the eye resting upon these quiet planes and delicate lines, receives a sense of repose and poetic suggestion which is lost in the bright noontide, with all its wealth of glittering detail, sharp cut in light and shade. There is no doubt that this typical power of outline and the value of simplicity of mass were perceived by the ancients, notably the Ancient Egyptians and the Greeks, who both, in their own ways, in their art show a wonderful power of characterization by means of line and mass, and a delicate sense of the ornamental value and quality of line. Formation of LettersRegarding line—the use of outline from the point of view of its value as a means of definition of form and fact—its power is really only limited by the power of draughtsmanship at the command of the artist. From the archaic potters' primitive figures or the rudimentary attempts of children at human or animal forms up to the most refined outlines of a Greek vase-painter, or say the artist of the Dream of Poliphilus, the difference is one of degree.

Macbeth (full title The Tragedy of Macbeth) is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare, and is considered one of his darkest and most powerful works. Set in Scotland, the play dramatizes the corrosive psychological and political effects produced when evil is chosen as a way to fulfil the ambition for power. The play is believed to have been written between 1599 and 1606, and is most commonly dated 1606. The earliest account of a performance of what was probably Shakespeare's play is the Summer of 1606, when Simon Forman recorded seeing such a play at the Globe Theatre. Macbeth is Shakespeare's shortest tragedy, and tells the story of a brave Scottish general named Macbeth who receives a prophecy from a trio of witches that one day he will become King of Scotland. Consumed by ambition and spurred to action by his wife, Macbeth murders King Duncan and takes the throne for himself. He is then wracked with guilt and paranoia, and he soon becomes a tyrannical ruler as he is forced to commit more and more murders to protect himself from enmity and suspicion. The bloodbath and consequent civil war swiftly take Macbeth and Lady Macbeth into the realms of arrogance, madness, and death. The play opens amidst thunder and lightning, and the Three Witches decide that their next meeting shall be with Macbeth. In the following scene, a wounded sergeant reports to King Duncan of Scotland that his generals—Macbeth, who is the Thane of Glamis, and Banquo—have just defeated the allied forces of Norway and Ireland, who were led by the traitorous Macdonwald and the Thane of Cawdor. Macbeth, the King's kinsman, is praised for his bravery and fighting prowess.In the following scene, Macbeth and Banquo discuss the weather and their victory. As they wander onto a heath, the Three Witches enter and greet them with prophecies. Though Banquo challenges them first, they address Macbeth, hailing him as "Thane of Glamis," "Thane of Cawdor," and that he shall "be King hereafter." Macbeth appears to be stunned to silence. When Banquo asks of his own fortunes, the witches inform him that he will father a line of kings, though he himself will not be one. While the two men wonder at these pronouncements, the witches vanish, and another thane, Ross, arrives and informs Macbeth of his newly bestowed title: Thane of Cawdor, as the previous Thane of Cawdor shall be put to death for his traitorous activities. The first prophecy is thus fulfilled, and Macbeth immediately begins to harbour ambitions of becoming king.King Duncan welcomes and praises Macbeth and Banquo, and declares that he will spend the night at Macbeth's castle at Inverness; he also names his son Malcolm as his heir. Macbeth sends a message ahead to his wife, Lady Macbeth, telling her about the witches' prophecies. Lady Macbeth suffers none of her husband's uncertainty, and wishes him to murder Duncan in order to obtain kingship. When Macbeth arrives at Inverness, she overrides all of her husband's objections by challenging his manhood, and successfully persuades him to kill the king that very night. He and Lady Macbeth plan to get Duncan's two chamberlains drunk so that they will black out; the next morning they will blame the chamberlains for the murder. They will be defenseless, as they will remember nothing.While Duncan is asleep, Macbeth stabs him, despite his doubts and a number of supernatural portents, including a hallucination of a bloody dagger. He is so shaken that Lady Macbeth has to take charge. In accordance with her plan, she frames Duncan's sleeping servants for the murder by placing bloody daggers on them. Early the next morning, Lennox, a Scottish nobleman, and Macduff, the loyal Thane of Fife, arrive. A porter opens the gate and Macbeth leads them to the king's chamber, where Macduff discovers Duncan's body. ABOUT AUTHOR: William Shakespeare ( 1564 (baptised) – 1616) was an English poet, playwright and actor, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called England's national poet and the "Bard of Avon". His extant works, including some collaborations, consist of about 38 plays, 154 sonnets, two long narrative poems, and a few other verses, the authorship of some of which is uncertain. His plays have been translated into every major living language and are performed more often than those of any other playwright. Shakespeare was born and brought up in Stratford-upon-Avon. At the age of 18, he married Anne Hathaway, with whom he had three children: Susanna, and twins Hamnet and Judith. Between 1585 and 1592, he began a successful career in London as an actor, writer, and part-owner of a playing company called the Lord Chamberlain's Men, later known as the King's Men. He appears to have retired to Stratford around 1613 at age 49, where he died three years later. Few records of Shakespeare's private life survive, and there has been considerable speculation about such matters as his physic

We sailed from Peru, (where we had continued for the space of one whole year) for China and Japan, by the South Sea; taking with us victuals for twelve months; and had good winds from the east, though soft and weak, for five months space, and more. But the wind came about, and settled in the west for many days, so as we could make little or no way, and were sometime in purpose to turn back. But then again there arose strong and great winds from the south, with a point east, which carried us up (for all that we could do) towards the north; by which time our victuals failed us, though we had made good spare of them. So that finding ourselves, in the midst of the greatest wilderness of waters in the world, without victuals, we gave ourselves for lost men and prepared for death. Yet we did lift up our hearts and voices to God above, who showeth his wonders in the deep, beseeching him of his mercy, that as in the beginning he discovered the face of the deep, and brought forth dry land, so he would now discover land to us, that we might not perish. And it came to pass that the next day about evening we saw within a kenning before us, towards the north, as it were thick clouds, which did put us in some hope of land; knowing how that part of the South Sea was utterly unknown; and might have islands, or continents, that hitherto were not come to light. Wherefore we bent our course thither, where we saw the appearance of land, all that night; and in the dawning of the next day, we might plainly discern that it was a land; flat to our sight, and full of boscage; which made it show the more dark. And after an hour and a half's sailing, we entered into a good haven, being the port of a fair city; not great indeed, but well built, and that gave a pleasant view from the sea: and we thinking every minute long, till we were on land, came close to the shore, and offered to land. But straightways we saw divers of the people, with bastons in their hands (as it were) forbidding us to land; yet without any cries of fierceness, but only as warning us off, by signs that they made. Whereupon being not a little discomforted, we were advising with ourselves, what we should do. During which time, there made forth to us a small boat, with about eight persons in it; whereof one of them had in his hand a tipstaff of a yellow cane, tipped at both ends with blue, who came aboard our ship, without any show of distrust at all. And when he saw one of our number, present himself somewhat before the rest, he drew forth a little scroll of parchment (somewhat yellower than our parchment, and shining like the leaves of writing tables, but otherwise soft and flexible,) and delivered it to our foremost man. In which scroll were written in ancient Hebrew, and in ancient Greek, and in good Latin of the school, and in Spanish, these words: Land ye not, none of you; and provide to be gone from this coast, within sixteen days, except you have further time given you. Meanwhile, if you want fresh water or victuals, or help for your sick, or that your ship needeth repairs, write down your wants, and you shall have that, which belongeth to mercy. This scroll was signed with a stamp of cherubim: wings, not spread, but hanging downwards; and by them a cross. This being delivered, the officer returned, and left only a servant with us to receive our answer. F. BACON About Author: Francis Bacon, 1561 – 1626), was an English philosopher, statesman, scientist, jurist, orator, essayist, and author. He served both as Attorney General and Lord Chancellor of England. After his death, he remained extremely influential through his works, especially as philosophical advocate and practitioner of the scientific method during the scientific revolution.Bacon has been called the father of empiricism. His works established and popularised inductive methodologies for scientific inquiry, often called the Baconian method, or simply the scientific method. His demand for a planned procedure of investigating all things natural marked a new turn in the rhetorical and theoretical framework for science, much of which still surrounds conceptions of proper methodology today.Bacon was knighted in 1603, and created Baron Verulam in 1618 and Viscount St. Alban in 1621; as he died without heirs, both peerages became extinct upon his death. He famously died of pneumonia, contracted while studying the effects of freezing on the preservation of meat. The succession of James I brought Bacon into greater favour. He was knighted in 1603. In another shrewd move, Bacon wrote his Apologies in defence of his proceedings in the case of Essex, as Essex had favoured James to succeed to the throne. The following year, during the course of the uneventful first parliament session, Bacon married Alice Barnham. In June 1607 he was at last rewarded with the office of solicitor general. The following year, he began working as the Clerkship of the Star Chamber. Despite a generous income, old debts still co

UNGV?RY KRISZTI?N és TABAJDI G?BOR rendhagyó útikalauza a 20. század politikai diktatúrái és legmegrázóbb t?rténelmi eseményei mentén veszi lajstromba Budapest emlékeit. A szerz?páros olyan f?városi helyszíneket mutat be olvasóinak, amelyek jobbára ismeretlenek a turisták el?tt, a városlakók számára pedig már a félmúlt homályába vesznek. A fiatal kutatók budapesti sétáin feltárulnak az 1919-es Tanácsk?ztársaság és az azt k?vet? fehérterror, a német megszállás, a nyilas rémuralom és a zsidóüld?zés, a világháborús f?város, a szovjet megszállás és a Rákosi-diktatúra, az 1956-os forradalom és szabadságharc, végül a Kádár-korszak elfeledett vagy épp szándékosan titokban tartott t?rténeti helyszínei és emlékhelyei. Az egyes t?rténelmi eseményekhez k?thet? szobrok és m?emlékek kapcsán a szerz?k múlt és jelen emlékezetpolitikai t?rekvéseit is áttekintik. A t?rténészpáros kíméletlen és fájdalmas ?szinteséggel mutat rá: a múlt századi véres diktatúrák emlékei jel?letlenül bár, de ma is ott kísértenek a f?város utcáin – ideje lenne hát mindenkinek megismerni ?ket. UNGV?RY KRISZTI?N 1969-ben született Budapesten. Tanulmányait az ELTE BTK t?rténelem-német szakán végezte. Budapest ostromát feldolgozó doktori disszertációja k?nyv formájában is megjelent, és számos hazai, illetve külf?ldi kiadást megélt. 2001-t?l az 1956-os Intézet tudományos munkatársa, t?bb nemzetk?zi tudományos testület tagja. Kutatási területe a 20. század politika- és hadt?rténete, a széls?jobb mozgalmak, valamint az állambiztonság t?rténete. TABAJDI G?BOR 1980-ban született Budapesten. Az ELTE B?lcsészettudományi Karán t?rténelmet, politikaelméletet és filozófiát tanult. Jelenleg az Országos Széchényi K?nyvtár 1956-os Intézetének munkatársa. Eddig f?ként a 20. századi Magyarország politikat?rténetével kapcsolatos publikációi jelentek meg. F? kutatási területei: a magyar állambiztonsági szervek, illetve a pártállami rendszer m?k?désének t?rténete. A fiatal kutatókat t?m?rít? ?Fehér Hollók” munkacsoport koordinátora.

National Book Critics Circle Award 2005 pentru carte de nonfic?iune. Premiul pentru Pace Erich-Maria-Remarque, 2001 Carte interzis? ?n Bielorusia ?Explozia reactorului num?rul 4 va deveni cel mai mare dezastru nuclear civil din istoria omenirii. Zona este o realitate ?n toat? monstruozitatea ei. La fel ca ?n cartea SF a fra?ilor Struga?ki, Picnic la marginea drumului, Zona este un infern pe p?m?nt, guvernat de propriile legi. Aici danseaz? lumini deasupra c?mpului, praful ridicat de v?nt are culori ciudate, se nasc copii cu muta?ii genetice, popula?ia a fost evacuat?, regiunea, interzis? ?i p?zit? de patrule militare, dar oameni stranii ?i-au f?cut din Zon? locul ?n care tr?iesc. Ei sunt C?l?uzele reale ?n Zona reactorului de la Cernob?l.“ – Ion M. Ioni?? C?nd fra?ii Arkadi ?i Boris Struga?ki publicau ?n 1972 celebrul lor roman SF Picnic la marginea drumului, nu ?i-ar fi putut imagina, nici ?n cele mai negre vise, c? Zona descris? ?n roman va deveni realitate paisprezece ani mai t?rziu, ?n ?ara lor, URSS. Conform ideologiei oficiale, Zona nu avea cum s? apar? ?n patria sovietelor. Doar URSS construia cele mai sigure reactoare nucleare din lume care ?ar fi putut fi instalate chiar ?n Pia?a Ro?ie, at?t de fiabile erau“. Nu a fost a?a. Pe 26 aprilie 1986, lumea avea s? intre ?n epoca Cernob?l. Explozia reactorului num?rul patru va deveni cel mai mare dezastru nuclear civil din istoria omenirii. Zona este o realitate ?n toat? monstruozitatea ei. La fel ca ?n cartea SF a fra?ilor Struga?ki, Zona este un infern pe p?m?nt, guvernat de propriile legi. Aici lumini danseaz? deasupra c?mpului, praful ridicat de v?nt are culori ciudate, se nasc copii cu muta?ii genetice, popula?ia a fost evacuat?, regiunea, interzis? ?i p?zit? de patrule militare, dar oameni stranii ?i-au f?cut din Zon? locul ?n care tr?iesc. ?O istorie oral? mi?c?toare a catastrofei din 1986 de la reactorul nuclear de la Cernob?l, ?n care curajul fatalist ?i stoic este dublat de un umor incredibil de negru. Jurnalista rus? Svetlana Aleksievici a ?nregistrat o serie de m?rturii pe care le-a prezentat sub forma unor ?monologuri?, ?n stil romanesc, care zugr?vesc imaginea vie a atmosferei generale de nemul?umire de la sf?r?itul perioadei comuniste, ?n care liderilor de partid agresivi, propagandei paranoice ?i mobiliz?rilor haotice li se opun sarcasmul deprimant, g?ndurile amare ?i abuzul de votc?. Rezultatul este o radiografie de neuitat a sufletului rus.“ – Publishers Weekly

A series of short, single voice plays by writers based in the North West of England. These powerful, contemporary monologues share the struggles, courage, conflicts and joys of different characters facing difficult decisions in their lives. Developed through consultation with young people, they offer a range of authentic, memorable voices to stimulate discussion and participatory drama work. ‘First Date’ by Anne-Marie O’Connor: Sometimes friendship comes with a heavy price tag. ‘Getting it Right’ by Peter Spafford: Luke can't choose between his shirts, let alone his parents. ‘Results Day’ by Aelish Michael: Karly’s mum thinks she’s an angel, but what if she flaps her wings? ‘Close to Home’ by Mary Cooper: Jay’s little sister is pregnant and he’s livid – who’s he going to punish? ‘Weighed Down’ by Carla Monvid-Jenkinson and Mary Cooper: When Claire’s dad left, she thought that he was all she would lose. ‘Giggsy’s Legs’ by Michael Harvey: Do you choose everything you are or does it choose you?

Welcome! Come on in! Take part in the project launch of ArtWorks, the new back to work initiative created and run by your friend and ours, the one, the only, the most fantastic… Vince Fine! And so begins the project launch from hell… Exploring issues of how society views those living on benefits, the ‘creative industries’ and what we should value in life, this dark comedy (running in real time) charts the fall from grace of the central comedic hero, Vince Fine, as he watches everything he’s ever dreamed of slip from his fingers. Includes some audience participation and interaction.

One of the most admired artists of the twentieth century, Max Ernst was a proponent of Dada and founder of surrealism, known for his strange, evocative paintings and drawings. In Prehistoric Future, Ralph Ubl approaches Ernst like no one else has, using theories of the unconscious-surrealist automatism, Freudian psychoanalysis, the concept of history as trauma-to examine how Ernst's construction of collage departs from other modern artists. ?Ubl shows that while Picasso, Braque, and Man Ray used scissors and glue to create collages, Ernst employed techniques he himself had forged-rubbing and scraping to bring images forth onto a sheet of paper or canvas to simulate how a screen image or memory comes into the mind's view. In addition, Ernst scoured the past for obsolete scientific illustrations and odd advertisements to illustrate the rapidity with which time passes and to simulate the apprehension generated when rapid flows of knowledge turn living culture into artifact. Ultimately, Ubl reveals, Ernst was interested in the construction and phenomenology of both collective and individual modern history and memory. Shedding new light on Ernst's working methods and the reasons that his pieces continue to imprint themselves in viewers' memories, Prehistoric Future is an innovative work of critical writing on a key figure of surrealism.

A deeply divided border state, heir to the "Bleeding Kansas" era, Missouri became the third most fought-over state in the war, following Virginia and Tennessee. Rich in resources and manpower, critical politically to both the Union and the Confederacy, it was the scene of conventional battles, river warfare, and cavalry raids. It saw the first combat by organized units of Native Americans and African Americans. It was also marked by guerrilla warfare of unparalleled viciousness. This volume, the ninth in the series, includes hundreds of photographs, many of them never before published. The authors provide text and commentary, organizing the photographs into chapters covering the origins of the war, its conventional and guerrilla phases, the war on the rivers, medicine (Sweeny's medical knowledge adds a great deal to this chapter and expands our knowledge of its practice in the west), the experiences of Missourians who served out of state, and the process of reunion in the postwar years.

Portraits of Conflict: A Photographic History of Alabama in the Civil War is the tenth volume in this acclaimed series showing the human side of the country's great national conflict. Over 230 photographs of soldiers and civilians from Alabama, many never seen before, are accompanied by their personal stories and woven into the larger narrative of the war both on the battlefield and the home front. Alabama is unusual among the Rebel states in that, while its people saw little fighting inside its boundaries, nearly one hundred thousand Alabamians served with Confederate units throughout the South. This volume chronicles their experiences in almost every battle east of the Mississippi River--especially at Sharpsburg, Chancellorsville, and Gettysburg under the legendary Robert E. Lee; at Murfreesboro and Chickamauga as part of the ill-fated Army of Tennessee; and at the famous siege of Vicksburg. Ultimately Union soldiers did invade the state, and Alabamians defended their homeland against enemy cavalry raiders at Selma and against Federal warships in the fight for Mobile Bay. The volume also includes accounts of some of Alabama's leading politicians as well as several of its more ordinary citizens. This new volume contains the same quality of photography and storytelling that has attracted Civil War enthusiasts since the first volume was published in 1987, making it another welcome addition to the series Civil War History called "e;a sensibly priced, beautifully produced photographic history."e;

With America on the brink of the largest number of older adults and persons with disabilities in the country's history, the deceleration in housing production during the first decade of the twenty-first century, and a continued reliance on conventional housing policies and practices, a perfect storm has emerged in the housing industry. The lack of fit between the existing housing stock and the needs of the U.S. population is growing pronounced. Just as housing needed to be retooled at the end of WWII, the American housing industry is in dire need of change today. The South-with its high rates of poverty, older residents, residents with disabilities, extensive rural areas, and out-of-date housing policies and practices-serves as a "canary in the coal mine" for the impending, nationwide housing crisis. Just Below the Line discusses how reworking the policies and practices of the housing industry in the South can serve as a model for the rest of the nation in meeting the physical and social needs of persons with disabilities and aging boomers. Policy makers, designers, builders, realtors, advocates, and housing consumers will be able to use this book to promote the production of equitable housing nationwide.Published in collaboration with the Fay Jones School of Architecture.

If business is a hamster wheel, what kind of hamster do you want to beThe one who runs all day long, huffing and puffing to keep things turningOr the sleek and happy rodent who works in the corner office down the hallStanley Bing has seen the way the big furballs operate in good times and bad.Core skills taught in this book:DelegationTelling people what to do and having them do it.AbsenceOperating from the digital vacuum.Abuse of statusIt can be done.DecisivenessEven when confused.EngagementBut only when necessary.Step off the wheel.Grab this book.And relax.

"e;The fate of our times is characterized by rationalization and intellectualization and, above all, by 'the disenchantment of the world.'"e; Max Weber's statement remains a dominant interpretation of the modern condition: the increasing capabilities of knowledge and science have banished mysteries, leaving a world that can be mastered technically and intellectually. And though this idea seems empowering, many people have become disenchanted with modern disenchantment. Using intimate encounters with works of art to explore disenchantment and the possibilities of re-enchantment, Arts of Wonder addresses questions about the nature of humanity, the world, and God in the wake of Weber's diagnosis of modernity.?Jeffrey L. Kosky focuses on a handful of artists-Walter De Maria, Diller + Scofidio, James Turrell, and Andy Goldworthy-to show how they introduce spaces hospitable to mystery and wonder, redemption and revelation, and transcendence and creation. What might be thought of as religious longings, he argues, are crucial aspects of enchanting secularity when developed through encounters with these works of art. Developing a model of religion that might be significant to secular culture, Kosky shows how this model can be employed to deepen interpretation of the art we usually view as representing secular modernity. A thoughtful dialogue between philosophy and art, Arts of Wonder will catch the eye of readers of art and religion, philosophy of religion, and art criticism.

You drag yourself to work wearing your office uniform, complete with khaki pants and sense of impending doom. After grabbing a cup of the office sludge, you settle in with your fellow cube dwellers and wonder: How will I last another day in this freaky corporate jungleCheaper than therapy, Cube Monkeys is your secret weapon to surviving the longest 40 hours of the week. Wanna get the overachieving intern firedDon't know how to tell the Stink Bomb down the hall he needs a scrub a dub dubAfraid you may have told off the boss after your fifth margarita at last night's happy hourNeed a handy list of excuses good for any occasionLook no further. The editors of CareerBuilder.com and Second City Communications have answers to your most pressing office survival questions, as well as advice, tips, and more to help you make it through the day without killing anyone. (Well, maybe the intern will take a hit. But that little snitch had it coming.)

Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Valerie Harper has a message for women of a certain age: "Work those laugh lines!" With the irreverence and wit that made her one of television's most beloved personalities, Harper (a.k.a. Rhoda Morgenstern) takes on those phony "fabulous at 50" books written by women whose skin is free of laugh lines and who wouldn't know a cellulite pocket if it bit them on the backside. With her trademark shoot-from-the-hip, call-'em-like-she-sees-'em style, she helps women celebrate, with humor and grace, what it means to be middle aged. Harper's essays explore the treacherous terrain women must travel -- from the tyrannies of fashion to the unmentionables of menopause. She tackles the most perplexing questions of the day: If you wear a size zero, do you existWould menopause be revered if it happened to menDo calories count if you eat standing upAre dressing rooms fitted with fun house mirrorsToday I Am a Ma'am is the perfect antidote to the youth obsession of our culture, offered by America's most reliable girlfriend. It is Humor Replacement Therapy for midlife women, a book you can pick up when ever you need a laugh or a reminder that midriff drift is not the end of the world.

An irreverent and ridiculous collection of "found" documents that will change everything you thought you knew about rock and roll, by the creator and star of Adult Swim's DelocatedJon Glaser delves into the unknown and highly secretive histories of dozens of rock and roll's greatest bands with sometimes spectacular, sometimes heartbreaking, always completely made-up results. In this book, you'll discover the following: Handwritten letters by Glaser's own father, which reveal him to be an early member of the band we now know as ZZ Top Old lyrics journals of, among others, Bob Dylan and David Bowie, featuring a collection of songs they probably hoped would never see the light of day A letter from Ringo to the rest of the Beatles, the week after their breakup, informing them of his plans to start a Beatles tribute band Formerly classified government documents with shocking revelations about the Navy SEALs and the Butthole Surfers Prince's set list for the bat mitzvah of Steven Spielberg's daughter Rachel, including the songs "Purple Oy Vey," "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Rabbi," and "When Doves Kvetch" My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top is for everyone who loves absurd, made-up stories about their favorite bands. It's also for everyone who doesn't love absurd, made-up stories about their favorite real bands they just might not enjoy it as much.

Nobody likes to think about death, but the world would be awfully crowded without it.From YouTube sensation Ken Tanaka and actor David Ury, who was crushed by an ATM on AMC's Breaking Bad, comes Everybody Dies, a colorful story and delightful assemblage of games that makes it easy-even fun- to come to grips with mortality.

At last, a humorous, anecdote-filled exploration of the many ways in which women stab each other in the back and talk about each other behind closed doors If you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilty of being a Player hateHER: You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are. You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him. You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you. Player hateHER shows women why they hate on one another, and, most important, how they can stop! A much-needed lesson in respecting one another and respecting yourself.

A hilariously funny, touching, and revelatory book from one of America's preeminent humorists In his plays, his screenplays, and his writing for the New Yorker and Premiere, Paul Rudnick has established himself as a comic master whose talents transcend genre. Now, in I Shudder, he trains his wickedly perceptive eye on everything from his New Jersey family to Hollywood to demented alcoholic Broadway stars waving swords. At his Uncle Rudy's funeral, Rudnick's beloved Aunt Lil put one hand on her husband's coffin and her other hand on Rudnick's shoulder and said, "Your Uncle Rudy always loved you. He never understood why, in your writing, you had to use that kind of language, but he loved you."Charming and touching, I Shudder is rendered in Rudnick's gorgeous, zinger-laden prose and reminds us of the need to keep our tongues sharp in the midst of life's many obstacles and absurdities. Here is one of the most accomplished collections in years, from a writer who ranks with David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs as one of our most gifted and hilarious social observers.

Feisty, funny, and almost fabulous: A relationship guide and collection of outrageous dating mishaps from the unfiltered and often inappropriate Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star. Welcome to Drinking and Dating . . . and how social media is ruining us all. In this honest, hilarious, and wild tell-all, reality TV starlet and number one New York Times bestselling author Brandi Glanville chronicles her misadventures stumbling through today's dating world. From felons to social media blunders and bedroom esca-pades, Brandi withholds nothing as she writes about the perils of getting back . . . on her back. Despite Brandi's life in the public spotlight, she has the same difficulty meeting, trusting, and even dating new people as the rest of us—perhaps even more. She hopes to develop a lasting, loving relationship, but it's been a struggle. With her signature tell-it-like-it-is voice, the single mother of two brings you along on her journey as the controversial but charming former fashion model shows her all-too-human side, candidly sharing the humorous and unforeseen ups and downs—literally and figuratively—in her search for love. Brandi Glanville is surprising, vulnerable, and outspoken, and her take on dating after heartbreak—and life in general—is as unique as she is. Just like Brandi herself, Drinking and Dating is sexy, funny, and eyebrow-raising—not that she can raise hers. #Botox.