万本电子书0元读

万本电子书0元读

Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back!
Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back!
McCall, Amanda
¥56.17
Interventions are like little surprise parties!Plus a bonus Do-it-yourself crafts section brighten up anything with baby animals!
The Perfect Baby Handbook
The Perfect Baby Handbook
Hrabi, Dale
¥95.39
New parents are hipper, more educated, and more sophisticated than ever, but they're also highly competitive--a lethal combination when turbocharged by the anxieties of raising a baby. And for many couples, it's not just any baby, but the perfect baby. These excessively motivated parents will not sabotage Junior's future by denying him Mandarin lessons, a nursery chandelier (just like the one Gwyneth's kids enjoy), or advanced infant yoga. A hilarious, highly visual satire of childrearing manuals, The Perfect Baby Handbook provides much-needed comic relief from the pressures of modern parenting, and gives comfort to moms and dads who can say with a sigh of relief, At least, we're not this bad.
My First Dictionary
My First Dictionary
Horsley, Ross
¥84.16
Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics from apple to zebra but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bedWhat makes Mommy so bitterWhere does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon dungeonAnd why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusionMy First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as:A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens.Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born.A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!
I'm Having More Fun Than You
I'm Having More Fun Than You
Karo, Aaron
¥78.65
Why settle down when you can hook up?"Happily married people and perpetually single people are similar: We've both given up on dating and have merely chosen different exit strategies."So begins Aaron Karo's hilarious exploration of bachelor life, from the alcohol-fueled pursuit of chicks in bars to sophisticated advances on defenseless bridesmaids. As his thirtieth birthday approaches, Karo observes the women around him growing increasingly desperate to tie the knot and finds himself equally determined to remain uncommitted. What follows is an outrageous account of one man's quest to party like a rock star, get laid with abandon, and silence his critics in relationships with the rebuke "I'm having more fun than you." Irreverent, insightful, and relentlessly funny, Karo offers a unique glimpse into the world of guys who defy convention, morality, and their moms in order to preserve their independence.
The Lizard King
The Lizard King
Weinstein, Jamie
¥109.31
What if every farfetched conspiracy theory about Barack Obama turned out to be trueTwo reporters for the The Daily Caller received an unsolicited manu* in the mail, the diary of a former Obama administration political operative. What they read stunned them. "The Lizard King" describes a White House where the reality is more surreal, and comically bizarre, than anything its most fervent enemies have alleged. Tasked by David Axelrod with debunking right wing rumors about the president, the narrator embarks on a journey that takes him from Washington to Moscow to the tribal areas of Pakistan in search of the real Barack Obama. His findings leave him shocked, his political ideology in tatters and his understanding of the world forever changed.
Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
Caddy, Dan
¥110.71
Welcome to basic training, soldier.Now meet your worst nightmare . . . your drill sergeant.Even if you've never served in the military, you know the drill sergeant. The mere sight of his fatigues and the iconic "Round Brown" campaign hat strikes fear into the bravest of hearts. Drill sergeants inflict pain, demand discipline, and aren't afraid of power, aggression, and using fear as a motivational tool. But unless you've witnessed one firsthand with your face in the mud doing pushups, you might not know one other fact . . . drill sergeants are some of the FUNNIEST people on the planet!After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail and social media with other veterans. Now, in Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said, Caddy shares the best-of-the-best quotes, one-liners, stories, and top-ten lists proving once and for all that drill sergeants are the world's most underrated comedians and philosophers. If you have ever suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), these often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining rants from real life soldiers will add a much-needed dose of humor to your day. Now stop laughing and drop and give me fifty.
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
Hightower, Jim
¥78.60
If anything, in this presidential election special, he's madder than ever!In his earlier bestseller, There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos, Hightower only began to tap into the deep yearning that Americans have for a new politics that speaks to them from a real-world, kitchen-table perspective. Now, with the year 2000 being an especially significant marker for contemplating our country's direction, not only for the new year but for the new century and the new millennium, it's time for citizens to reclaim their political, economic, and cultural heritage.Leading the way with his hilariously irreverent yet profoundly serious book is our name-naming, podium-pounding, point-them-in-the-right-direction populist, Hightower himself. He whacks conventional wisdom right upside the head,showing,with startling facts and compelling personal stories, that despite a so-called period of prosperity, America's middle class is getting mugged, and that far from being ordained by the gods,globalization is globaloney! Hightower rips the mass off of the candidates, the parties, the consultants, and especially the moneyed powers whoa re supporting all of the leading presidential hopefuls. he's mad about them all--but what he's maddest about, what really gets his goat,is that they are all the same! To paraphrase Jim, American politicians are alike because they don't come cheap. In fact, they're all very expansive. which is why only the rich can own them and why their allegiance is definitely not to regular,worka-day citizens.No one is spared in this insightful and engaging blend of horror and success stories, hard-hitting commentary, laugh-out-loud humor, useful facts, and sparkling language. An equal opportunity muckraker and conscientious agitator for "We the people," Hightower inspires us to take charge again, to build a new politics, and, together, to build a better tomorrow. Jim Hightower's If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates proves yet again that his is a uniquely wise and peerlessly singular voice in the maelstrom of political prattle.
Cyanide and Happiness
Cyanide and Happiness
Wilson, Kris
¥88.56
Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips.From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say!"Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." Dave's mom"I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." Kris's mom"I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.
How to Booze
How to Booze
Kaye, Jordan
¥84.16
There is a perfect drink for every situation. So what should you drink tonightIt depends . . .Are you stalking your exTry a pisco sour.Drowning out the ticking of your biological clockA bee's knees will do.Spoiling for a vicious brawl with your dearest loved onesA tipperary helps you get there.Sinking into debauchery underneath the mistletoe at your boss's holiday partyA presbyterian, what else?How to Booze has all the answers on what to drink when. Armed with nearly one hundred iconic recipes, useful facts on technique and ingredients, and more than enough advice to get you into trouble, you will now know just the right drink for the occasion and how to prepare it likea professional.
The Greedy Bastard Diary
The Greedy Bastard Diary
Idle, Eric
¥90.54
A stunningly witty exploration of the American landscape -- not to mention a brilliant comic's mind -- this diary is chock-full of everything you ever wanted to know about Eric Idle, Monty Python, America, and sleeping on a bus. In these pages, the sixth-nicest Python is cheeky, touching, and funny when recounting the riotous tales of his beginnings, his affectionate reminiscences of his fellow Pythons, traveling the world, and taking us backstage at the smash Broadway hit Spamalot.Fascinating, moving, at times even amusing, this book will dramatically improve your sex life, will make you feel intelligent and charming within the first several pages, and after a few chapters, will permanently eliminate all your personal or health problems. So come experience eighty days, 15,750 miles, and forty-nine cities as you never have before!
The Other Book... of the Most Perfectly Useless Information
The Other Book... of the Most Perfectly Useless Information
Symons, Mitchell
¥84.05
The latest entry in Mitchell Symons's trivia trifecta is chock-full of more obscure scientific facts, sporting stats, celebrity gossip, and pure trivia than ever! Did you know that: Polar bears cover their black noses with their paws for better camouflageJohn Steinbeck had to rewrite Of Mice and Men because his dog ate the first draftWayne Newton is a descendant of PocahontasOscars given out during World War II were made of wood because metal was in short supplyBrooke Shields and Glenn Close are cousinsDiet Coke was invented in 1982. However, in 1379, a Mr. and Mrs. Coke of Yorkshire, England, named their daughter Diot(a diminutive of Dionisia, the predecessor of the modern-day name Denise)Male monkeys go bald in much the same way that men doJames Gandolfini was voted Best Looking by his high school classIf you are titillated by trivia or fascinated by facts, The Other Book . . . of the Most Perfectly Useless Information will keep you entertained for hours!
The Man Cave Book
The Man Cave Book
Wilser, Jeff
¥84.16
What separates the men from the boysThe Man Cave. Boyhood Fort Man Cave Who's allowed Not girls—they have cooties Not women—they have authority Primary materials used in construction Wood, stuff your mom doesn't want Particleboard, stuff your wife doesn't want Key activities inside Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Peak periods of use After school, weekends After work, weekends Slumber parties with buddiesYes No Food and beverages consumed Soda and unhealthy snacks Beer and unhealthy snacks Spend the night insideNot as a habit, but it's been known to happen Not as a habit, but it's been known to happen Money spent on space As little as possible As much as possible Is this a phase you will outgrowYes No The Man Cave Book is a tribute to great and glorious man spaces and the craftsmen behind them. Complete with instructions and insights into creating your own unique refuge and shrine to beer, sports, and everything else that's right with the world, this is an essential manual for any man cave enthusiast.
Unicorn Being a Jerk
Unicorn Being a Jerk
Moss, C. W.
¥84.16
A Hilarious Expose of the Secret Lives of Unicorns, Based on the Popular Online Comic!In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals - through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions - that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks whose petty, selfish antics include stomping on children's sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall. In the vein of The Book of Bunny Suicides, this humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature.
Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters
Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters
Nelson, Michael J.
¥88.56
Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle ageHow should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkinIs there any future in being a MidwesternerCan you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plainHow come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half emptyIn more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.
50 Things to Do with a Book
50 Things to Do with a Book
McCall, Bruce
¥95.52
Reading may be dead, but books are alive and well What good are books, you may be wondering, if we're not going to read themWhat are we even doing in this bookstoreNot to worry! It turns out that there are literally thousands of things to do with these chunky stacks of bound tree pulp. Fun, exciting, adventurous, creative things. In fact, this familiar rectangular object suddenly offers enough dazzling new interactive possibilities to, yes, fill a book. This book. From re-creating world wonders to settling marital disputes, entertaining dinner guests to channeling your inner secret agent, here are fifty wonderfully zany things to do with all your favorite books.
Monster Book of Manga: Gothic
Monster Book of Manga: Gothic
Balaguer, Jorge
¥145.91
An extraordinary new volume in the bestselling Monster Book of Manga books Gothic features thirty dark characters and easy-to-follow instructions teaching you how to create them.The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the ultimate guide to creating the hottest, most cutting-edge manga. Inside you'll find thirty devious and mysterious manga characters, along with step-by-step instructions taking you from initial line drawings to graphic, full-color designs. The characters include rebellious and subversive youth from rock stars and dancers to gothic cheerleaders and a beautiful, modernized gothic Lolita. There are also dangerous cyberpunks, vampires, and warriors, as well as a gothic space queen and a satanic being. Unique in its content and the elegance of its characters, The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the only comprehensive guide to creating gothic manga and a must-have for all new and experienced manga artists alike.
Scared of Santa
Scared of Santa
Joyce, Denise
¥72.93
He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night.Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus?!Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.
101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress
101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress
Walker, Cindy
¥112.44
Bridesmaid dresses -- what are they good forWe've got to pay for them, wear them, and then find a spot for them in the back of the closet. Our best women friends, suddenly transformed into tasteful-white-dress-wearing brides, tell us, "You'll be able to wear this bridesmaid dress again." But we know better.101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress, tongue firmly in cheek, pokes fun at the hopelessly horrible dress that a bride asks her "court" to don. These whimsical illustrations and silly suggestions, from cocktail napkins and shower curtains, to pony blankets and frilly jock straps, are a hilarious antidote to the bridesmaid dresses we'll never wear again.
HarperCollins e-books
HarperCollins e-books
Adler, Bill
¥112.44
Discusses Jay Leno's unique sense of humor, from his days as a New England schoolboy to his role as the top-rated late-night TV talk-show host, and examines some of the challenges and conflicts he faced to make it to where he is today.
Manga Fashion with Paper Dolls
Manga Fashion with Paper Dolls
ricorico
¥140.29
Featuring twenty-five iconic fashion styles, Manga Fashion is filled to the brim with gorgeous girls in dazzling clothes. Seventy-three of Japan's top manga artists portray key styles from party to romantic, gothic Lolita to nautical. De*ions of the different styles break them down into their essential components types of clothing, shoes, and accessories, as well as how the looks developed and what kind of modern manga girls wear them. Classic items like miniskirts, kimonos, military jackets, and ball gowns are covered, as are accessories including high heels, obis, and hair ribbons. And as the cherry on this manga sundae, two manga paper dolls can be found in the back of the book, accompanied by stylish outfits and accessories.
Mental Floss Presents Be Amazing
Mental Floss Presents Be Amazing
Koerth-Baker, Maggie
¥95.39
Be amazing Who says you can'tIt's time to get off the couch and take your life to the next level. Step one: stand on the shoulders of geniusesWhat good are the world's greatest geniuses if you can't muddy their shoulder pads and use their accomplishments as a step stoolmental_floss has combed through every success story in history to deliver this ultimate how-to guide for climbing your way to greatness.Step two: bask in the glow of admiring fansWhether you want to glow in the dark, swallow a sword, quit smoking, find Atlantis, live forever, get out of jury duty, buy the Moon, sink a battleship, stop global warming, become a ninja, or simply be the center of the universe, Be Amazing covers all the essential life skills. Just absorb a few pages, then let the hero worship begin!You will need: A hunger for greatness Some duct tape This book You may want: Sidekicks and/or minions An impressive nickname An amazing outfit