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Tell Me Why, Mummy
￥73.58
The inspirational true story of one man overcoming enormous odds – including sexual abuse from his alcoholic mother – to choose his own path in life and become a truly exceptional human being. From the age of four David Thomas was sexually abused by his alcoholic mother and subsequently physically abused by his aged stepfather. By the age of 16 he had committed multiple burglaries, assaulted a police officer with an iron bar, attempted suicide, received a criminal conviction from a juvenile court, and been expelled from school. He left home as soon as he could and joined the fire service at 20. At the age of 27 he bought a book on memory. Within 8 months he had come fourth in the World Memory Championships and went on to develop one of the most powerful memories in history, even breaking an 18-year-old Guinness Book of Records memory record by reciting the mathematical formula Pi (3.1459) to 22,500 digits from memory. In 1999 he was reunited with his mother after 4 years apart but tragically, a year later he found her dead at home after she had died of an alcohol induced heart attack. David's shocking and moving story is one of abuse, alcoholism, courage, determination, forgiveness, love and how everyone can choose their own path through life irrespective of their upbringing, background or perceptions about what they think is possible. David is an incredible example of how this can happen.
For the Love of Julie
￥45.62
In this incredible and moving memoir, a mother tells of her fight for justice to convict her daughter’s murderer for a crime that he thought could never be punished. When her 22-year-old daughter, Julie, went missing in the night, Ann Ming was certain she had been murdered. Three months later she found her child's decomposing body behind a bath panel. A violent local man, Billy Dunlop, was tried for her murder but a series of blunders allowed him to walk free. Knowing he could not be tried again under the law of Double Jeopardy, he callously bragged about his 'perfect crime'. But Dunlop had not reckoned on Ann Ming… This is the extraordinary story of a fight for justice which she never gave up. A moving account of courage and determination, showing how much a mother's love can achieve.
Cameron: Practically a Conservative
￥68.67
A fully updated edition of the first major biography of David Cameron – now covering his first years as Prime Minister and leader of the coalition government. David Cameron is the first Conservative Prime Minister in a generation, and also the first leader of a coalition government for eighty years. But what is the reality behind his brand of repackaged Conservatism? And who is Cameron the man? Here, for the first time, is an independent examination of the ‘saviour’ of the Conservative Party and the life that brought him to Number 10. Based on extensive interviews with his closest friends, his most senior lieutenants and his critics, it traces his meteoric rise from an idyllic, privileged childhood, to the heart of government by the age of 25, to leader of the country. Critical and insightful by turn, this updated edition now covers Cameron’s first year as Prime Minister – a time that has seen unprecedented scandal in the political world, as well as challenges unique to the Conservative leader.
Daddy’s Little Earner
￥45.62
The shocking story of a young girl forced into prostitution by her own father, and her painful journey to escape her horrific childhood and build a new life for herself and her sons. Maria's dad was a pimp, living in a world of thieves and street-walkers. Her mother, tiring of turning tricks for her husband, walked out, leaving the children in his chaotic, violent and sometimes cruel care. By the age of nine, Maria's father was abusing her and getting a prostitute friend to dress her up in stockings and make-up. By the time she was fourteen he was selling her on the streets of the red light district in Norwich. Despite everything Maria still loved her swaggering and sometimes charming father and found it hard to sort out her own feelings. At fifteen she ran away to King's Cross with an older lover who turned out to be just another pimp. Furious at losing a nice little earner her father involved the police and both he and the other man were jailed for living off Maria's immoral earnings. Only then could Maria escape her traumatic childhood and follow her dream of becoming a mother.
Seminary Boy
￥80.25
One of the most extraordinary memoirs of recent years, the acclaimed writer John Cornwell has finally written his own story, and the story of a choice he had to make between the Church and a life lived outside its confines. John Cornwell decided to become a priest at the age of thirteen, a strange choice perhaps for a boy who'd been sent to a 'convalescent home' for having whacked a nun about the head. Growing up in a chaotic household, sharing two rooms with his brothers and sisters, his hot-headed mother and – when he was around – absconding father, John spent his time roaming the war-torn streets of London looking for trouble. One day, at his mother's suggestion, he responded to a call from his local parish priest for altar servers. The 'dance of the rituals', the murmur of Latin and the candlelit dawn took hold of his imagination and provided him with a new and unexpected comfort. He left post-war London for Cotton, a seminary in the West Midlands. In this hidden, all-male world, with its rhythms of devotion and prayer, John grew up caught between his religious feelings and the rough and tumble of his life back in London; between seeking the face of God in the wild countryside around him and experiencing his first kiss; between monitoring his soul and watching a girl from a moving train whose face he will never forget. Cornwell tells us of a world now vanished: of the colourful community of priests in charge; of the boys and their intense and sometimes passionate friendships; of the hovering threat of abuse in this cloistered environment. And he tells us of his struggle to come to terms with a shameful secret from his London childhood – a vicious sexual attack which haunts his time at Cotton. A book of tremendous warmth and humour, ‘Seminary Boy’ is about an adolescent's search for a father and for a home.
My Father’s Keeper
￥54.25
A powerful and compelling memoir of growing up with a schizophrenic father, who hid his mental illness behind a charismatic larger-than-life, gluttonous personality and found logical explanations for the most bizarre ways of thinking. As a child Julie was close to her father. More friend than parent, he would belt her into their tiny car and they'd punch through yellow lights, scarf down candy bars before supper and had their own way of making fun of Julie's mother in a secret language of eye-rolling. She adored her father for his exuberance, and pitied him when he broke down in suicidal desperation. But as she neared 10, a darker side emerged: her father could switch instantly from squeaking out a tear as they harmonized to "Hey Jude" in the car, to pulling his loaded pistol on the man that asked for change in the McDonald's drive-thru as they waited. The isolation that came with the family's move to the country saw the wacky, unorthodox elements of her father's denied mental illness take a back seat to paranoid fear. Her father would tell her any boy who befriended her was just pretend-acting until he could rape her, and Julie came to fear all boys and men. He fell ever deeper into paranoid delusions that his daughter was sexually active, prostituting herself, sneaking out at night to sleep with black men. When Julie was 14 her father attempted suicide and was placed in a locked psychiatric ward. Julie was made to testify against her father, and when he was released he became convinced she had turned on him. Julie became the target of his ever more paranoid delusions. Julie left home before 18 but her father's schizophrenic behaviour bled over into her own life: if she couldn't find the hairdryer, she would check for signs of entry. When it later turned up, she would wonder how the thief broke back in to return it. Confused, lost and damaged from years spent as the only confidante of her paranoid schizophrenic father, but determined to survive, Julie was finally able to come to terms with her father. She was her father's keeper, and always would be.
Raising the Dead: A True Story of Death and Survival
￥83.88
A true story of death and survival in the world’s most dangerous sport, cave diving. Two friends plunge 900 ft deep into a water-filled crater in the Kalahari Desert to raise the body of a diver who had perished there a decade before. Only one returns. Unquenchable heroism and complex human relationships amid the perils of extreme sport. On New Year's Day, 2005, David Shaw travelled halfway around the world on a journey that took him to the Kalahari Desert of South Africa, to a site known locally as Boesmansgat: Bushman's Hole. His destination was nearly 900 feet below the surface. On 8 January, he stepped into the water. He wore and carried on him some of the most advanced diving equipment ever developed. Mounted to a helmet on his head was a video camera. David Shaw was about to attempt what had never been done before, and he wanted the world to see. He descended. About fifteen feet below the surface was a fissure in the dolomite bottom of the basin, barely wide enough to admit him and his equipment and the aluminum tanks slung under his shoulders. He slipped through the opening, and disappeared from sight, leaving behind the world of light and life. Then, a second diver descended through the same crack in the stone. This was Don Shirley, Shaw's friend and frequent dive partner, one of the few people in the world qualified to follow where Shaw was about to go. In the community of extreme diving, Don Shirley was a master among masters. Twenty-five minutes later, one of the men was dead. The other was in mortal peril, and would spend the next 10 hours struggling to survive, existing literally from breath to breath. What happened that day at Bushman's Hole is the stuff of nightmarish drama, juxtaposing classic elements of suspense with an extreme environment beyond most people’s comprehension. But it’s also a compelling human story of friendship, heroism, unswerving ambition and of coming to terms with loss and tragedy.
Coming Back To Me: The Autobiography of Marcus Trescothick
￥72.40
A true-life sporting memoir of one of the best batsman in the game who stunned the cricket world when he prematurely ended his own England career. Trescothick’s brave and soul-baring account of his mental frailties opens the way to a better understanding of the unique pressures experienced by modern-day professional sportsmen. At 29, Marcus Trescothick was widely regarded as one of the batting greats. With more than 5,000 Test runs to his name and a 2005 Ashes hero, some were predicting this gentle West Country cricket nut might even surpass Graham Gooch's record to become England's highest ever Test run scorer. But the next time Trescothick hit the headlines it was for reasons no one but a handful of close friends and colleagues could have foreseen. On Saturday 25 February 2006, four days before leading England into the first Test against India in place of the injured captain Vaughan, Trescothick was out for 32 in the second innings of the final warm-up match. As he walked from the field he fought to calm the emotional storm that was raging inside him, at least to hide it from prying eyes. In the dressing room he broke down in tears, overwhelmed by a blur of anguish, uncertainty and sadness he had been keeping at bay for longer than he knew. Within hours England's best batsman was on the next flight home. His departure was kept secret until after close of play when coach Duncan Fletcher told the stunned media his acting captain had quit the tour for 'personal, family reasons.' Until now, the full, extraordinary story of what happened that day and why, of what preceded his breakdown has never been told. He reveals for the first time that he almost flew home from the 2004 tour to South Africa – of what caused it and of what followed – his comeback to the England side and a second crushing breakdown nine months later that left him unable to continue the 2006-07 Ashes tour down under. Coming Back to Me will replace the myths and rumours with the truth as Trescothick talks with engaging openness and enthusiasm about his rise to the top of international cricket; and describes with equal frankness his tortured descent into private despair.
Look who it is!: My Story
￥57.09
The brilliantly funny Sunday Times top ten bestseller. Alan Carr tells his life story in his own words, from growing up in a football-mad family in Northampton to his rise as one of Britain’s best-loved comedians. ‘Puberty had been unkind. Whereas it had come in the night and left the other boys with chiselled, stubbly chins and deep masculine voices, I’d been left with a huge pair of knockers and the voice of a pensioner.’ Alan Carr Alan Carr grew up in one of the most boring towns in England – Northampton. A place known for making shoes. It was also known for its football club, Northampton Town FC. Alan’s dad as manager of the club was a local hero. A dream come true for most lads, but not Alan. Alan wore glasses and had man boobs at 14. He did not like P.E. In his very first book, Alan tells his life story, (‘oh and what a life’) with his unique twist of natural, observational humour – ‘I’m not saying I’m a fantasist but there have been times when things that I’ve seen on television when I was younger have tended to seep into my subconscious and blended into my own life. I remember telling my Mum about the time I stopped that woman from having a diamond encrusted necklace stolen and she’d say ‘No Alan, that was Poirot.’ With his tongue-in-cheek, end of pier humour that made him famous, Alan describes an ordinary life in bursts of technicolour. His journey from awkward schoolboy hiding his man-boobs on the pitch, drinking tea with the dinner ladies and working in a call centre, to becoming one of our best-loved comedians likened to the great Frankie Howerd, make his book a guaranteed tickler with a laugh-out-loud gag on every page.
Punished
￥57.09
‘Punished’ is the inspiring true story of an unusual little girl, Vanessa, whose childhood was devastated by torture and abuse at the hands of her sadistic mother. Vanessa was nearly destroyed until she discovered a secret that ultimately saved her life. From the age of 3, Vanessa lived in daily terror of her mother's unpredictable rage. If she was 'naughty', her mother would lash out at her – with beatings, torture, starvation and making Vanessa sleep in their garden's pigsty, tied up like an animal. Her mother said her punishments were God's revenge on her for being the devil's child. Her father lived in denial of her suffering. When she was 6 years old, Vanessa's grandfather began to sexually abuse her – to her despair, aided and abetted by both her mother and grandmother. At eight years old, she then discovered that the 'mother' who hated her so much had adopted her as a baby and would never love her as her own. At the most horrific times of Vanessa's abuse, she nearly lost all hope that she would escape her prison, until mysterious things started to happen to her that allowed her to fight back. This is the story of how Vanessa survived a childhood that nearly destroyed her and how her secret led her out of the horrors of her past.
Fab: An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney
￥80.25
The living embodiment of The Beatles and a musical juggernaut without parallel, Paul McCartney is undoubtedly the patriarch of pop. In this authoritative biography, acclaimed author and journalist Howard Sounes creates the most accurate and extensive profile of McCartney ever built, leaving no stone unturned, and no shadow unexplored. He is the torch-bearer of the Beatles – the greatest band in pop – and one of the most closely studied stars in show business. But surprises and secrets still linger in the life of Sir Paul McCartney. In FAB, his full story is told for the first time. Acclaimed author Howard Sounes spent more than two years investigating every aspect of Sir Paul’s life and work, including interviewing over 200 people. The result is the richest and more comprehensive biography of McCartney ever written. Uniquely, FAB pays equal attention to the story of Paul McCartney both in the Beatles and post-Beatles, creating a unique narrative spanning the arc of the artist’s life. FAB culminates in the sensational human story of Sir Paul’s calamitous marriage to Heather Mills, which is fully revealed for the first time. Sounes proves a judicious critic of the music of an iconic star while also delivering a superb psychological portrait of the man.
I Just Wanted to Be Loved
￥58.86
The author of the bestselling Please Daddy No reveals more harrowing experiences of his neglected childhood. Having survived the terrible abuse at the hands of his stepfather, Stuart has to reach within himself again to live through the degradation of prison. He is released back into the world without any support or counselling from the authorities. The child abuse and numerous court cases had almost destroyed him, and Stuart became reliant on drugs and alcohol. With his life spiralling out of control, Stuart attempts suicide a number of times. The last try leaving the doctors that resuscitated him incredulous he had survived. At the point of no-return, Stuart was sent to an hospital in the Scottish highlands to fight the demons that assailed him and rebuild his life. This is the remarkable story of his fight to be his own man.
The Year of Magical Thinking
￥66.22
From one of America's iconic writers, a portrait of a marriage and a life – in good times and bad – that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child. A stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Several days before Christmas 2003, John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion saw their only daughter, Quintana, fall ill. At first they thought it was flu, then pneumonia, then complete sceptic shock. She was put into an induced coma and placed on life support. Days later – the night before New Year’s Eve –the Dunnes were just sitting down to dinner after visiting the hospital when John suffered a massive and fatal coronary. In a second, this close, symbiotic partnership of 40 years was over. Four weeks later, their daughter pulled through. Two months after that, arriving at LA airport, she collapsed and underwent six hours of brain surgery at UCLA Medical Centre to relieve a massive hematoma. This powerful book is Didion’s ‘attempt to make sense of the weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I ever had about death, about illness … about marriage and children and memory … about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself’. The result is an exploration of an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage, and a life, in good times and bad.
Long Shot: My Bipolar Life and the Horses Who Saved Me
￥54.25
An inspiring and searingly honest memoir of how one woman had the strength and courage to change her life. Sylvia Harris was homeless, her children had been taken from her, and she was using crack cocaine. She is also a manic depressive. Now she’s a prize-winning jockey with the world at her feet. Sylvia’s life was dominated by the fear of a faceless madness that could take hold without warning, causing terrifying hallucinations, delusions and bizarre behaviour. These could at any moment fluctuate back to ruthless clarity or all-consuming depression. She had been labelled a ‘neglectful mother’, was beaten by her boyfriend, snubbed by family and neighbours and in trouble with the law. There seemed no way out. Until she discovered that her childhood love of horses could offer a means of escape, a sanctuary from her isolation. Sylvia felt the exhilaration and danger of riding, the joy of connection to these strong and graceful creatures, the redemptive focus and intuition of the race, the pure ecstasy of finishing, of winning, of beating her demons and all the people who never believed she would succeed, and never looked back. As unforgettable as Seabiscuit and as touching as Horse Boy, Long Shot is for anyone who has been at life’s lowest ebb – and survived.
Stolen Innocence
￥65.53
A tale of survival and freedom, Stolen Innocence is the story of one heroic woman who stood up for what was right and reclaimed her life. In September 2007, a packed courtroom in St. George, Utah, sat hushed as Elissa Wall, the star witness against polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, gave captivating testimony of how Jeffs forced her to marry her first cousin at the age of fourteen. This harrowing and vivid account proved to be the most compelling evidence against Jeffs, showing the harsh realities of the lengths to which Jeffs went in order to control the sect's women. Now, in this courageous memoir, Elissa Wall tells the incredible and inspirational story of how she emerged from the confines of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) and helped bring one of America's most notorious criminals to justice. Offering a child's perspective on life in the FLDS, Wall discusses her tumultuous youth, and explains how Warren Jeffs's influence over the church twisted its already rigid beliefs in dangerous new directions. Once she was married, Wall's childhood shattered as she was obligated to follow Jeffs's directives and submit to her husband in "mind, body, and soul." With little money and no knowledge of the outside world, she was trapped and forced to endure the pain and abuse of her loveless relationship, which eventually pushed her to spend nights sleeping in her truck rather than face the tormentor in her bed.
Never Say Die
￥54.25
On a Saturday morning in May 1980, Melanie Bowen, a pretty fifteen year old, ran down the stairs of her parents’ home in Port Talbot, grabbed her leather jacket and crash helmet, yelled a goodbye, and then walked out of the front door into the sunshine for what was to be the last time in her life. Never Say Die is the true story of what followed… Since the motorcycle crash that left her paralysed from the chest down, Melanie's life has been one of extremes. On the down side, she has endured 5 horrific months of despair and indignity in rehabilitation, undergone a colostomy at 23, been in another serious car crash, suffered syringomyelia and the terrifying prospect of full quadriplegia, been diagnosed with breast cancer and broken several bones. On the plus side, however, she's won medals in athletics for Wales, been humbled and inspired by Falklands veterans at RAF Chessington, raised thousands for charity, become a major disability poster girl in America, dabbled with the film world and been screen tested for a movie, met the Queen, and set up her own rehabilitation charity, whose patrons include the acclaimed actor Michael Sheen, Dame Tanni Grey Thompson and former Welsh Rugby captain, Gwyn Jones. She has also, against all the odds, found lasting happiness, having fallen in love with and married the surgeon who 25 years earlier told her she would never walk again.
Apache
￥57.09
Ed Macy is an elite pilot, one of the few men qualified to fly Apache helicopters, the world’s deadliest fighting machines. This is his account of a fearless mission behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. After a brutal accident forced him out of the Paras, Ed Macy refused to go down quietly. He bent every rule to sign up for the Army’s gruelling Apache helicopter programme and was one of the handful to pass the nightmare selection process. Dispatched to Afghanistan’s notorious Helmand Province in 2006, his squadron were on hand when a marine went MIA behind enemy lines – and they knew they were his only hope. From the cockpit of the mighty Apache helicopter comes this incredible true story of a rescue mission so dangerous they said it couldn’t be done, and of the man who dared to disagree.
The Secrets of the Notebook
￥68.67
The incredible true story revealed by a family notebook, telling of four daughters across two centuries of turbulent history, of a passionate and ill-fated royal love affair, ending in a tragic and cruel death. 'The beautiful owner of this book is dearer to me than my life. August, your protector.' Eve Haas was irresistibly drawn to the family 'notebook', which had been passed down the generations. Her father had shown her the in*ion inside when she was young, with warnings of dire happenings if the secret behind the diary was pursued. Years later, Eve decided to follow the trail of the notebook, it would take her to the old kingdom of Prussia, to a forbidden royal marriage that was wiped from all official records, and a royal princess given away to ensure her protection. Forty years earlier in 1942, Eve's grandmother, Anna, had died on her way to Auschwitz after being seized by the SS. They believed she was just an old Jewish woman. The secret of her royal heritage lay in that notebook, but it couldn't save her.
Porridge (The Best of British Comedy)
￥50.62
The best jokes, gags and scenes from a true British comedy classic. ‘Cheer up, could be worse. State the country's in, we could be free.’ ‘Doctor: I want you to fill one of those containers for me. Fletcher (other side of the room): What, from 'ere?’ You can count the number of truly classic British sitcoms on one hand – well, perhaps two. But however many hands you use, Porridge will be one of the first programmes to register for inclusion. Undoubtedly one of the real gems, the prison-based show starring the late Ronnie Barker as the recalcitrant yet loveable rascal, Fletcher, transcends the generations; like any other classic, it remains as accessible and funny today as it did when first aired in the 1970s. Including the pilot, transmitted a year before the first series hit the screen, twenty-one instalments were made, attracting audiences of up to 20 million. Written by those prolific scribes Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, and brought to life by an estimable bunch of actors, headed by the great Ronnie B as Fletch, a recidivist who spent most of his adult life behind bars, the sitcom quickly attracted plaudits and became a shining example of what good situation comedy is all about. The Best of British Comedy – Porridge includes: ? The History: an overview of how Porridge was born and developed ? Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes ? Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc. ? Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full ? A Porridge quiz ‘New Faces, Old Hands’ FLETCHER My beloved Isobel.The little woman. Well she aint so little.I said to her the other day, 'Isobel, I'll never get over you, I'll have to get up and go round.’
The Men Commandments
￥72.99
The Bible For Blokes From The Daddy Of Breakfast Radio Foreword by James Nesbitt. Christian O’Connell has been a man nearly all his life. Well, once he was a boy, then he was a teenager, then a man, but you get what we mean. So who better to save manhood from devolving into one of those spineless newt things from the Guinness ad? For years women have had everyone from Germaine Greer to Bridget Jones to tell them how to be a woman, and who have men had? No one. That is, until now . . . For ten years Christian has dispensed wisdom and advice to millions of lucky radio listeners on every topic conceivable; but it was when he saw his wife reading, and laughing at, a book called “How to Kill your Husband”, that he realised he had to write this book. Men are confused about what it is to be a man in a world where men use moisturiser and eat sandwiches with rocket. They need help. The Men Commandments is a roadmap, a compass for men (not a sat nav - they’re evil!) With his outspoken humour and ironic take on life, Christian explores male-dom; celebrating all that is great about being a man and unravelling those mysteries of masculinity that have stumped women for literally minutes. Packed full of wisdom, advice, trivia, and cheeky banter, this is the must have book for men everywhere. Includes: ? The Man Quiz (a helpful quiz to establish real manliness) ? The 78 genetic differences between men and women (work for which Christian is expecting a Nobel prize) ? Manly Toilet Etiquette (real men do not speak at the urinals) ? The History of Men (it says a lot about the psyche of Man that early Neanderthal paintings depict willies) ? Men and their Mates (a relationship full of weird rituals, abuse and unspoken rules) ? The Real First XI ? The Men Commandments (the ten commandments that every true man needs to know)
I Know This Much: From Soho to Spandau
￥72.30
I Know This Much – by Gary Kemp, Spandau Ballet's prime mover – is simply the freshest, most exciting and best-written memoir to arrive for years. Gary's story begins in North London, where the Kemp family rented a home with no bathrooms and chickens in the yard. After a couple of failed attempts to kill his brother Martin, his parents gave him a guitar for Christmas. From schoolyard battles between the Bowie Boys and the Prog Rockers to Mrs Kemp's firm insistence on net curtains, from acting for the Children's Film Foundation to manning a fruit and veg stall on Saturdays, Gary brilliantly evokes an upbringing full of love, creativity and optimism. As the Thatcher years begin, Gary's account of the outrageous London club scene centred around the Blitz and Billy's is just sizzling. Out of this glamorous mayhem of kilt-wearing mascara'd peacocks would emerge Spandau Ballet - the band that would define the era, and hold high the victorious standard of the New Romantics. Gary's thrilling journey with Spandau Ballet would see them record worldwide hits such as True, Gold and Through the Barricades, play the biggest stadiums in the world, and take to the stage in togas when their luggage gets lost in flight. Stallions, supermodels and dwarves would be hired for video shoots, and through it all, Gary records the wonderful friendships, and the slowly-building tensions that would eventually see five old friends facing each other in court. I Know This Much tells the story of Spandau Ballet, but it's far more than a book about being in a band. Whether it's meeting Ronnie Kray before filming The Krays, sketching out the fashions and subcultures of the day, or hanging out with Princess Diana, this book offers a story on every page. And all the more so because it's all written – brilliantly – by Gary himself.
