万本电子书0元读

万本电子书0元读

Unicorn Being a Jerk
Unicorn Being a Jerk
Moss, C. W.
¥84.16
A Hilarious Expose of the Secret Lives of Unicorns, Based on the Popular Online Comic!In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals - through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions - that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks whose petty, selfish antics include stomping on children's sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall. In the vein of The Book of Bunny Suicides, this humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature.
How to Be Black
How to Be Black
Thurston, Baratunde
¥83.03
If You Don't Buy This Book, You're a Racist.Have you ever been called "too black" or "not black enough"Have you ever befriended or worked with a black personIf you answered yes to any of these questions, this book is for you.Raised by a pro-black, Pan-Afrikan single mother during the crack years of 1980s Washington, DC, and educated at Sidwell Friends School and Harvard University, Baratunde Thurston has over thirty years' experience being black. Now, through stories of his politically inspired Nigerian name, the heroics of his hippie mother, the murder of his drug-abusing father, and other revelatory black details, he shares with readers of all colors his wisdom and expertise in how to be black.Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be The Black Friend" to "How to Be The (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month."To provide additional perspective, Baratunde assembled an award-winning Black Panel three black women, three black men, and one white man (Christian Lander of Stuff White People Like) and asked them such revealing questions as:"When Did You First Realize You Were Black?""How Black Are You?""Can You Swim?"The result is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be."
The Dictionary of Love
The Dictionary of Love
Stark, John
¥83.93
In its more than three hundred pages, The Dictionary of Love gets to the heart of the matter: To rusticate is to get out of town with one's lover.A ballabust is a controlling wife or girlfriend.Bob Hope had the longest Hollywood marriage.Kinkalicious is your girlfriend in a teddy.Tahiti is an island where lovers do the 'upa'upa. From "afterglow" to "zipper," "Ikea" to "Twister," The Dictionary of Love is chockablock with everything you ever wanted to know about love but couldn't find in your Funk Wagnalls. The book draws from all areas of life: love songs, poems, history, law books, sex manuals, medical and psychology texts, folklore, modern science, cookbooks, classical literature, Internet dating sites, TV shows, and today's slang. What famous people best define loveAccording to The Dictionary of Love, they include Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Bill Clinton, Casanova, Lana Turner, Nefertiti, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Don Quixote, Ben & Jerry even Flipper and Lassie!Included, too, are charts, graphs, and illustrations, plus a G-spot directional map for women to give their boyfriend or lover. An indispensable tool for anyone who is composing a love sonnet, breaking up over e-mail, writing a romance novel, planning a romantic getaway, or just looking for something juicy to whisper in their lover's ear, The Dictionary of Love is a first-of-its-kind compendium of all things amorous.
A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat
A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat
Kilpatrick, Joel
¥83.93
They're Going to Heaven . . . and They Know ItAt last, a complete, unsparing guide to evangelical Christians. This hilarious and highly useful manual, written by an insider, illuminates this rapidly growing and unique segment of America and offers a thoroughly entertaining, no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud survey of evangelical culture. See inside for the scoop on: What Evangelicals Believe -- Plus a Master List of Who Is Going to Hell How to Party Like an Evangelical -- Ambrosia, Li'l Smokies, and Potluck Fever The Diversity of Evangelical Politics -- From Right-Wing to Wacko Evangelical Mating Habits -- The Shocking Truth
Oh the Moon
Oh the Moon
Yi, Charlyne
¥94.10
From actress, comedian, musician, and writer Charlyne Yi comes this collection of illustrated, interconnected short stories and anecdotes that blends comedy, fantastic adventures, and a storm of feelings that will make you want to laugh and cry at the same time—reminiscent of the works of Demetri Martin, Shel Silverstein and John Cassavetes. Charlyne Yi takes readers from a sky filled with vengeful clouds to the depths of a frog’s stomach, and to Hell and back—literally—in this collection of short stories that showcases her unique style. Equal parts whimsical, hilarious, heartbreaking, and terrifying, these short stories—both written and illustrated by Charlyne—can be read separately, but are connected thematically following the difficulties of love at every age: Forgive Me: What happens when the tiniest boy of all time is the only thing standing between the world’s largest baby and an angry mobWho could ever love something so smallOr so big She’s All Legs: In this spicy, action-packed romance, Agatha, a woman who is literally just legs and a head, decides to hunt down and kill the Devil himself. Along the way she meets Cassady, an Elvis impersonator with his own, mysterious gripe with the Dark Lord. Short, one-page anecdotes, poems, reflections, and imagery are also included. Strange, heartfelt, and wonderful, Oh the Moon shows you love in the way that only Charlyne Yi’s brilliant, witty mind can.
The Other Book... of the Most Perfectly Useless Information
The Other Book... of the Most Perfectly Useless Information
Symons, Mitchell
¥84.05
The latest entry in Mitchell Symons's trivia trifecta is chock-full of more obscure scientific facts, sporting stats, celebrity gossip, and pure trivia than ever! Did you know that: Polar bears cover their black noses with their paws for better camouflageJohn Steinbeck had to rewrite Of Mice and Men because his dog ate the first draftWayne Newton is a descendant of PocahontasOscars given out during World War II were made of wood because metal was in short supplyBrooke Shields and Glenn Close are cousinsDiet Coke was invented in 1982. However, in 1379, a Mr. and Mrs. Coke of Yorkshire, England, named their daughter Diot(a diminutive of Dionisia, the predecessor of the modern-day name Denise)Male monkeys go bald in much the same way that men doJames Gandolfini was voted Best Looking by his high school classIf you are titillated by trivia or fascinated by facts, The Other Book . . . of the Most Perfectly Useless Information will keep you entertained for hours!
Fifteen Candles
Fifteen Candles
Lopez, Adriana V.
¥84.05
For the uninitiated, the quincea era celebrates the passage of a fifteen-year-old girl into adulthood: It's a bit bat mitzvah with a dash of debutante ball, and loaded with the same potential for hilarity and adolescent angst. In this original anthology, fifteen of the brightest and funniest Latino writers, men and women alike, share their own memories of these moving and often absurd extravaganzas tales of that unique form of familial humiliation that is borne of the best intentions, fierce love, and the infectious joy of parents finally allowing their little girl to grow up.
The Man Cave Book
The Man Cave Book
Wilser, Jeff
¥84.16
What separates the men from the boysThe Man Cave. Boyhood Fort Man Cave Who's allowed Not girls—they have cooties Not women—they have authority Primary materials used in construction Wood, stuff your mom doesn't want Particleboard, stuff your wife doesn't want Key activities inside Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Goofing around, avoiding responsibility Peak periods of use After school, weekends After work, weekends Slumber parties with buddiesYes No Food and beverages consumed Soda and unhealthy snacks Beer and unhealthy snacks Spend the night insideNot as a habit, but it's been known to happen Not as a habit, but it's been known to happen Money spent on space As little as possible As much as possible Is this a phase you will outgrowYes No The Man Cave Book is a tribute to great and glorious man spaces and the craftsmen behind them. Complete with instructions and insights into creating your own unique refuge and shrine to beer, sports, and everything else that's right with the world, this is an essential manual for any man cave enthusiast.
More Mirth of a Nation
More Mirth of a Nation
Rosen, Michael J.
¥95.52
More seriously funny writing from American's most trusted humor anthology Witty, wise, and just plain wonderful, the inaugural volume of this biennial, Mirth of a Nation, ensured a place for the best contemporary humor writing in the country. And with this second treasury, Michael J. Rosen has once again assembled a triumphant salute to one of America's greatest assets: its sense of humor. More than five dozen acclaimed authors showcase their hilariously inventive works, including Paul Rudnick, Henry Alford, Susan McCarthy, Media Person Lewis Grossberger, Ian Frazier, Richard Bausch, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Nell Scovell, Andy Borowitz, and Ben Greenman -- just to mention a handful so that the other contributors can justify their feelings that the world slights them. But there's more! More Mirth of a Nation includes scads of Unnatural Histories from Randy Cohen, Will Durst's "Top Top-100 Lists" (including the top 100 colors, foods, and body parts), and three unabridged (albeit rather short) chapbooks: David Bader's "How to Meditate Faster" (Enlightenment for those who keep asking, "Are we done yet?") Matt Neuman's "49 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth" (for instance, "Make your own honey" and "Share your shower.") Francis Heaney's "Holy Tango of Poetry" (which answers the question, "What if poets wrote poems whose titles were anagrams of their names, i.e., 'Toilets,' by T. S. Eliot?") And there's still more: "The Periodic Table of Rejected Elements," meaningless fables, Van Gogh's Etch A Sketch drawings, a Zagat's survey of existence, an international baby-naming encyclopedia, Aristotle's long-lost treatise "On Baseball," and an unhealthy selection of letters from Dr. Science's mailbag. And that's just for starters! Just remember, as one reviewer wrote of the first volume, "Don't drink milk while reading."
Genius and Heroin
Genius and Heroin
Largo, Michael
¥95.39
What is the price of brillianceWhy are so many creative geniuses also ruinously self-destructiveFrom Caravaggio to Jackson Pollack, from Arthur Rimbaud to Jack Kerouac, from Charlie Parker to Janis Joplin, to Kurt Cobain, and on and on, authors and artists throughout history have binged, pill-popped, injected, or poisoned themselves for their art. Fully illustrated and addictively readable, Genius and Heroin is the indispensable reference to the untidy lives of our greatest artists and thinkers, entertainingly chronicling how the notoriously creative lived and died whether their ultimate downfalls were the result of opiates, alcohol, pot, absinthe, or the slow-motion suicide of obsession.
A Kidnapped Santa Claus
A Kidnapped Santa Claus
Robinson, Alex
¥84.16
First published in 1904, "A Kidnapped Santa Claus" by L. Frank Baum, the author of The Wizard of Oz, describes the action of some uncommon events in the land of Santa. Not far from the Laughing Valley where Santa and all his magical helpers live, and beyond the Forest of Burzee, there stands a huge mountain that contains the Cave of Demons. Each demon has a specialty: Selfishness, Envy, Hatred, Malice, and Repentance. Because the promise of Santa puts all girls and boys on their best behavior, the demons have hardly any visitors to their caves. In order to remedy their dismal foot traffic, they conspire to kidnap Santa! But oh! even when it looks as if the demons might win, one can never underestimate the power of devoted (and magical!) friends. Adapted by Alex Robinson, author of several graphic novels, the action and menace of the tale will be enhanced and lightly spoofed. It seems a most appropriate treatment of Baum's work -- he was an author who often let his profound and unsettling meanings roil beneath the surface of his otherwise fanciful stories.
The Freedom Manifesto
The Freedom Manifesto
Hodgkinson, Tom
¥90.77
The author of How to Be Idle, Tom Hodgkinson, now shares his delightfully irreverent musings on what true independence means and what it takes to be free. The Freedom Manifesto draws on French existentialists, British punks, beat poets, hippies and yippies, medieval thinkers, and anarchists to provide a new, simple, joyful blueprint for modern living. From growing your own vegetables to canceling your credit cards to reading Jean-Paul Sartre, here are excellent suggestions for nourishing mind, body, and spirit witty, provocative, sometimes outrageous, yet eminently sage advice for breaking with convention and living an uncluttered, unfettered, and therefore happier, life.
How to Booze
How to Booze
Kaye, Jordan
¥84.16
There is a perfect drink for every situation. So what should you drink tonightIt depends . . .Are you stalking your exTry a pisco sour.Drowning out the ticking of your biological clockA bee's knees will do.Spoiling for a vicious brawl with your dearest loved onesA tipperary helps you get there.Sinking into debauchery underneath the mistletoe at your boss's holiday partyA presbyterian, what else?How to Booze has all the answers on what to drink when. Armed with nearly one hundred iconic recipes, useful facts on technique and ingredients, and more than enough advice to get you into trouble, you will now know just the right drink for the occasion and how to prepare it likea professional.
Little Pink Raincoat
Little Pink Raincoat
Anders, Gigi
¥84.16
A little Coco Chanel, a lot Carrie Bradshaw, with a dash of Maureen Dowd a hip, hilarious collection of mini-profiles in shopping and romantic courage. From one very fabulous and elusive little pink raincoat (to woo the commitment phobe) to a pair of very persuasive peach panties (gift from a dazzling doc), author Gigi Anders relates her experiences as they deal with her dual obsessions of clothing and men. Here are ten vignettes chronicling ten choice sartorial items and the corresponding boyfriends that would undoubtedly love her stylishly ever after...even if they didn't.Featuring items and boyfriends from Anders's real life, real (extremely jammed) closet, and real bed, Little Pink Raincoat is a very tasty, very funny, universal, uplifting, pop cultural meditation on the things we crave and the lengths we'll go to get them.
It's Not Easy Bein' Me
It's Not Easy Bein' Me
Dangerfield, Rodney
¥77.49
An American comic icon tells the story of his second act rise from obscurity to multimedia stardom. "When I was a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I worked tough places in show business places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's. That was a tough joint. I looked at the menu. They had broken leg of lamb." For once, one of America's most beloved comic icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has seen every aspect of the entertainment industry: the rough and tumble nightclubs, the backstage gag writing sessions, the drugs, the hookers, the lousy day jobs and the red carpet star treatment. As he traces his route from a poor childhood on Long Island to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he takes readers on a roller coaster ride through a life that has been alternately touching, sordid, funny, raunchy, and uplifting equal parts "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula." And unlike most celebrity autobiographers, he seems to have no qualms about delivering the unfiltered whole story, warts and all. Dangerfield's personal story is also a rollicking show business tale, full of marquee name droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and good stories about same. Defying the old saws about the fleeting nature of fame and the dearth of second acts in American life, Dangerfield transformed himself from a debt ridden aluminium siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia superstar and stayed an icon for decades. His catchphrase "I get no respect" has entered the lexicon, and he remains a visible cultural presence and perennial talk show guest. Dangerfield's hilarious and inspiring musings should thrill comedy fans and pop culture watchers, and his second act comeback will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Maybe he'll even get some respect.
How Not to Act Old
How Not to Act Old
Satran, Pamela Redmond
¥83.03
How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . . Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids or themselves.
Power Moves
Power Moves
Welzein, Karl
¥90.90
Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitter—the Midwest's most beautiful loser Karl Welzein is really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but that's okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this. Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's). A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once. Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers). But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.
Fail Nation
Fail Nation
Failblog.org Community
¥73.03
From the underbelly of the nuts behind hit websites failblog.org and icanhascheezburger.com comes FAIL Nation, your silent guide and handler to the not-even-close-to-perfect nation of FAIL, chock-full of irrelevant tips and useless suggestions about why to shop, who to eat, and when to see. So fasten your exit and check for the nearest seatbelt your FAIL plane departs now.
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
Hightower, Jim
¥78.60
If anything, in this presidential election special, he's madder than ever!In his earlier bestseller, There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos, Hightower only began to tap into the deep yearning that Americans have for a new politics that speaks to them from a real-world, kitchen-table perspective. Now, with the year 2000 being an especially significant marker for contemplating our country's direction, not only for the new year but for the new century and the new millennium, it's time for citizens to reclaim their political, economic, and cultural heritage.Leading the way with his hilariously irreverent yet profoundly serious book is our name-naming, podium-pounding, point-them-in-the-right-direction populist, Hightower himself. He whacks conventional wisdom right upside the head,showing,with startling facts and compelling personal stories, that despite a so-called period of prosperity, America's middle class is getting mugged, and that far from being ordained by the gods,globalization is globaloney! Hightower rips the mass off of the candidates, the parties, the consultants, and especially the moneyed powers whoa re supporting all of the leading presidential hopefuls. he's mad about them all--but what he's maddest about, what really gets his goat,is that they are all the same! To paraphrase Jim, American politicians are alike because they don't come cheap. In fact, they're all very expansive. which is why only the rich can own them and why their allegiance is definitely not to regular,worka-day citizens.No one is spared in this insightful and engaging blend of horror and success stories, hard-hitting commentary, laugh-out-loud humor, useful facts, and sparkling language. An equal opportunity muckraker and conscientious agitator for "We the people," Hightower inspires us to take charge again, to build a new politics, and, together, to build a better tomorrow. Jim Hightower's If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates proves yet again that his is a uniquely wise and peerlessly singular voice in the maelstrom of political prattle.
Cubicle Warfare
Cubicle Warfare
Austin, John
¥90.77
Get revenge on all your annoying coworkers with this guide to 101 awesome office pranks Are your eyes beginning to glaze over from the fluorescent lights in your tiny cubicleHave you had one too many burnt cups of coffeeDoes the guy in the cube next to you insist on pencil-drumming while cranking "Hells Bells" and five-finger discounting your paper clipsIf your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you're in need of some Cubicle Warfare.With Cubicle Warfare, you'll never be bored at the office again. Make your coworkers jump, squeal, and run for cover with hilarious pranks such as the Paper Clip Chain, Bottomless Box, and the Sticky Note Office, as well as the more advanced Freezer Bomb, Chair Chaos, and Textless Keyboard. Even if you're not a prankster yourself, you can still use this riotous guide to recognize the warning signs and defend your desk from conniving coworkers. Bad days at the office will be a thing of the past.
Cyanide and Happiness
Cyanide and Happiness
Wilson, Kris
¥88.56
Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips.From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say!"Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." Dave's mom"I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." Kris's mom"I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.