If anything, in this presidential election special, he's madder than ever!In his earlier bestseller, There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road but Yellow Stripes and Dead Armadillos, Hightower only began to tap into the deep yearning that Americans have for a new politics that speaks to them from a real-world, kitchen-table perspective. Now, with the year 2000 being an especially significant marker for contemplating our country's direction, not only for the new year but for the new century and the new millennium, it's time for citizens to reclaim their political, economic, and cultural heritage.Leading the way with his hilariously irreverent yet profoundly serious book is our name-naming, podium-pounding, point-them-in-the-right-direction populist, Hightower himself. He whacks conventional wisdom right upside the head,showing,with startling facts and compelling personal stories, that despite a so-called period of prosperity, America's middle class is getting mugged, and that far from being ordained by the gods,globalization is globaloney! Hightower rips the mass off of the candidates, the parties, the consultants, and especially the moneyed powers whoa re supporting all of the leading presidential hopefuls. he's mad about them all--but what he's maddest about, what really gets his goat,is that they are all the same! To paraphrase Jim, American politicians are alike because they don't come cheap. In fact, they're all very expansive. which is why only the rich can own them and why their allegiance is definitely not to regular,worka-day citizens.No one is spared in this insightful and engaging blend of horror and success stories, hard-hitting commentary, laugh-out-loud humor, useful facts, and sparkling language. An equal opportunity muckraker and conscientious agitator for "We the people," Hightower inspires us to take charge again, to build a new politics, and, together, to build a better tomorrow. Jim Hightower's If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates proves yet again that his is a uniquely wise and peerlessly singular voice in the maelstrom of political prattle.

Be amazing Who says you can'tIt's time to get off the couch and take your life to the next level. Step one: stand on the shoulders of geniusesWhat good are the world's greatest geniuses if you can't muddy their shoulder pads and use their accomplishments as a step stoolmental_floss has combed through every success story in history to deliver this ultimate how-to guide for climbing your way to greatness.Step two: bask in the glow of admiring fansWhether you want to glow in the dark, swallow a sword, quit smoking, find Atlantis, live forever, get out of jury duty, buy the Moon, sink a battleship, stop global warming, become a ninja, or simply be the center of the universe, Be Amazing covers all the essential life skills. Just absorb a few pages, then let the hero worship begin!You will need: A hunger for greatness Some duct tape This book You may want: Sidekicks and/or minions An impressive nickname An amazing outfit

Why do some people retain cute baby-talk names for their relatives (like "Num-Num" and "Pee-Paw") well into middle ageHow should a reasonable person respond when Olivia Newton-John sings, "Have you never been mellow?" Who's responsible for the sorry state of men's fashion, and is it the same guy who invented the jerkinIs there any future in being a MidwesternerCan you really enjoy your lunch when the restaurant is decorated to look like an African plainHow come women keep dozens of bottles and jars of moisturizers, unguents, and lotions around -- all of them half emptyIn more than 50 hilarious all-new essays, one of America's brightest young humorists -- the head writer and on-air host of the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- finds the fun in all aspects of the human condition, no matter how absurd. Join Mike Nelson on an angst-filled visit to a health spa; shopping sessions at Home Depot and Radio Shack; adventures in the very amateur musical theater; a gut-busting discourse on the history of television; ruminations on his roles as husband, father, and citizen; and much, much more.

Bridesmaid dresses -- what are they good forWe've got to pay for them, wear them, and then find a spot for them in the back of the closet. Our best women friends, suddenly transformed into tasteful-white-dress-wearing brides, tell us, "You'll be able to wear this bridesmaid dress again." But we know better.101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress, tongue firmly in cheek, pokes fun at the hopelessly horrible dress that a bride asks her "court" to don. These whimsical illustrations and silly suggestions, from cocktail napkins and shower curtains, to pony blankets and frilly jock straps, are a hilarious antidote to the bridesmaid dresses we'll never wear again.

I'm going to be totally honest with you. This is not a "how-to," a "when-to," or a "what-to-expect" book. It's not even endorsed by anyone remotely connected to the medical profession. "But if I have only one book to buy," you ask, "shouldn't I go for the helpful one?"Let's compare:Those know-it-all books tell you how to care for a newborn child.My book describes how tired I am.Those books give you essential information you can use in a life-threatening emergency.My book has some very amusing anecdotes about poop.So really, it's up to you.

There is a perfect drink for every situation. So what should you drink tonightIt depends . . .Are you stalking your exTry a pisco sour.Drowning out the ticking of your biological clockA bee's knees will do.Spoiling for a vicious brawl with your dearest loved onesA tipperary helps you get there.Sinking into debauchery underneath the mistletoe at your boss's holiday partyA presbyterian, what else?How to Booze has all the answers on what to drink when. Armed with nearly one hundred iconic recipes, useful facts on technique and ingredients, and more than enough advice to get you into trouble, you will now know just the right drink for the occasion and how to prepare it likea professional.

He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night.Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus?!Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.

A Hilarious Expose of the Secret Lives of Unicorns, Based on the Popular Online Comic!In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals - through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions - that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks whose petty, selfish antics include stomping on children's sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall. In the vein of The Book of Bunny Suicides, this humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature.

Get comfy, pull up a pan of blondies, and settle in for some girlfriend talk. Get the lowdown on who's low and how's down, whose long-standing but unspoken conflict with her mother is contributing to her sexual repression, and whose boyfriend named his penis. A hysterical send-up of everyday life and love with lots of heart, Lipshtick is a quick fix, a good schmooze, a heartfelt sob or two.It will take you on a trip through things universal to all pairs of X chromosomes worth their salt: for coping with social dances in junior high (where the sexes meet like a hormonal high noon) to the joys of plucking out your chin hair like evil weeds; from the natural order of a girl's fantasies (like sweets that don't make you fat, spending that doesn't break the bank, a beautiful nap in the middle of a long day) to why flings with bad boys are the ultimate in dating pleasure (finding the right boy to lust after is a lifelong struggle--eventually you grow to be picky about who rejects you); from getting married (His best qualityHe was like family. His worst qualityHe was like family.) to the sad state of postnatal breasts. Gwen Macsai cover it all--with a shtick twist. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you're not her. No situation unaccounted for, no mole left unexamined, Macsai captures a woman's life from her first leg-shave to her last dose of hormone replacement therapy.When you finish Lipshtick you'll have added another great girlfriend to your already glittering array. And in this world you can't have enough girlfriends or laughter.

Featuring twenty-five iconic fashion styles, Manga Fashion is filled to the brim with gorgeous girls in dazzling clothes. Seventy-three of Japan's top manga artists portray key styles from party to romantic, gothic Lolita to nautical. De*ions of the different styles break them down into their essential components types of clothing, shoes, and accessories, as well as how the looks developed and what kind of modern manga girls wear them. Classic items like miniskirts, kimonos, military jackets, and ball gowns are covered, as are accessories including high heels, obis, and hair ribbons. And as the cherry on this manga sundae, two manga paper dolls can be found in the back of the book, accompanied by stylish outfits and accessories.

An extraordinary new volume in the bestselling Monster Book of Manga books Gothic features thirty dark characters and easy-to-follow instructions teaching you how to create them.The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the ultimate guide to creating the hottest, most cutting-edge manga. Inside you'll find thirty devious and mysterious manga characters, along with step-by-step instructions taking you from initial line drawings to graphic, full-color designs. The characters include rebellious and subversive youth from rock stars and dancers to gothic cheerleaders and a beautiful, modernized gothic Lolita. There are also dangerous cyberpunks, vampires, and warriors, as well as a gothic space queen and a satanic being. Unique in its content and the elegance of its characters, The Monster Book of Manga: Gothic is the only comprehensive guide to creating gothic manga and a must-have for all new and experienced manga artists alike.

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics from apple to zebra but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bedWhat makes Mommy so bitterWhere does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon dungeonAnd why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusionMy First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as:A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens.Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born.A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!

Kinky Friedman is back, and with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out he gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities from people he's known, like Bill Clinton, George W., Willie Nelson, and Bob Dylan -- not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit, such as Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House, marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, and cigars to the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations" (Rocky Mountain News) that are present in all his other work. Hilarious, irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.

Welcome to basic training, soldier.Now meet your worst nightmare . . . your drill sergeant.Even if you've never served in the military, you know the drill sergeant. The mere sight of his fatigues and the iconic "Round Brown" campaign hat strikes fear into the bravest of hearts. Drill sergeants inflict pain, demand discipline, and aren't afraid of power, aggression, and using fear as a motivational tool. But unless you've witnessed one firsthand with your face in the mud doing pushups, you might not know one other fact . . . drill sergeants are some of the FUNNIEST people on the planet!After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail and social media with other veterans. Now, in Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said, Caddy shares the best-of-the-best quotes, one-liners, stories, and top-ten lists proving once and for all that drill sergeants are the world's most underrated comedians and philosophers. If you have ever suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), these often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining rants from real life soldiers will add a much-needed dose of humor to your day. Now stop laughing and drop and give me fifty.

New parents are hipper, more educated, and more sophisticated than ever, but they're also highly competitive--a lethal combination when turbocharged by the anxieties of raising a baby. And for many couples, it's not just any baby, but the perfect baby. These excessively motivated parents will not sabotage Junior's future by denying him Mandarin lessons, a nursery chandelier (just like the one Gwyneth's kids enjoy), or advanced infant yoga. A hilarious, highly visual satire of childrearing manuals, The Perfect Baby Handbook provides much-needed comic relief from the pressures of modern parenting, and gives comfort to moms and dads who can say with a sigh of relief, At least, we're not this bad.

Did you wash your handsSet the alarm clock?Lock the front doorBetter yet: Do you like even numbersDo you fold all of your trash neatly into squaresDo you count stepsDo you carry a bottle of hand sanitizer with you at all timesEveryone has his or her own neuroses. On a routine trip to the office bathroom, Lianna Kong discovered one of hers: "How could I possibly pee with my coworker sitting right next to me doing her business?" And, in that quiet moment of panic, iamneurotic.com was born.i am neurotic (and so are you) is a smorgasbord of anonymous confessions that reveal people's deepest, strangest, and funniest compulsions quirks that are triggered in the boardroom, the bedroom, and everywhere in between.

Descent Into Hell is a novel written by Charles Williams, first published in 1937. Williams is less well known than his fellow Inklings, such as C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien. Like some of them, however, he wrote a series of novels which combine elements of fantasy fiction and Christian symbolism. Forgoing the detective fiction style of most of his earlier supernatural novels, most of the story's action is spiritual or psychological in nature. It fits the "theological thriller" description sometimes given to his works. For this reason Descent was initially rejected by publishers, though T. S. Eliot's publishing house Faber and Faberwould eventually pick up the novel, as Eliot admired Williams's work, and, though he did not like Descent Into Hell as well as the earlier novels, desired to see it printed.SHORT SUMMARY: The action takes place in Battle Hill, outside London, amidst the townspeople's staging of a new play by Peter Stanhope. The hill seems to reside at the crux of time, as characters from the past appear, and perhaps at a doorway to the beyond, as characters are alternately summoned heavenwards or descend into hell. Pauline Anstruther, the heroine of the novel, lives in fear of meeting her own doppelganger, which has appeared to her throughout her life. But Stanhope, in an action central to the author's own theology, takes the burden of her fears upon himself—Williams called this The Doctrine of Substituted Love—and enables Pauline, at long last, to face her true self. Williams drew this idea from the biblical verse, "Ye shall bear one another's burdens" And so Stanhope does take the weight, with no surreptitious motive, in the most affecting scene in the novel. And Pauline, liberated, is able to accept truth.On the other hand, Lawrence Wentworth, a local historian, finding his desire for Adela Hunt to be unrequited, falls in love instead with a spirit form of Adela, which seems to represent a kind of extreme self-love on his part. As he isolates himself more and more with this insubstantial figure, and dreams of descending a silver rope into a dark pit, Wentworth begins the descent into Hell.HARROWING of HELL: "Christ in Limbo" and "Descent into Hell" redirect here. For the novel by Charles Williams, see Descent into Hell (novel). For the 8th-century Anglo-Saxon liturgical play, see Harrowing of Hell (drama).

Cei ce sus?in c? tr?im ?ntr-o er? a comunic?rii par s? confunde dezvoltarea telecomunica?iilor cu progresul comunic?rii interumane. Nu este c?tu?i de pu?in sigur c? suntem ast?zi mai capabili dec?t ?n trecut de solidaritate afectiv? cu semenii, de ?mp?rt??ire de tr?iri intime, de prietenie ?i dragoste. Poate chiar dimpotriv?. Ceea ce ?inea ?n trecut de normalitatea vie?ii de fiecare zi ?i, ca atare, nu mobiliza ?n mod special aten?ia celor implica?i, a devenit ast?zi obiect de analiz? tocmai pentru c? nu se mai produce spontan, ci necesit? un efort con?tient, inclusiv de natura teoretic-investigativ?.Cunoa?terea principiilor ?i a mecanismelor comunic?rii interpersonale a devenit indispensabil? pentru ameliorarea raporturilor dintre oameni ?i a ?ncetat s? mai fie numai o problem? a speciali?tilor. Dac? ?n trecut oamenii comunicau spontan, ?n felul ?n care f?cea proza ?burghezul gentilom“, ast?zi suntem tot mai mult ?n situa?ia unui domn Jourdain care, pentru a se apropia de semenii s?i, are nevoie de un ghid. Acestui imperativ ?ncearc? s?-i r?spund?, ?n felul s?u, ?i lucrarea de fa??.

AT the east end of the choir aisle of the Cathedral there is a portion of the wall which is possibly the oldest piece of masonry in Oxford, for it is thought to be a part of the original Church of St. Frideswyde, on whose site the Cathedral Church of Christ (to give its full title) now stands. Even so it is not possible to speak with historical certainty of the saint or of the date of her Church, which was built for her by her father, so the legend says, when she took the veil; though the year 740 may be provisionally accepted as the last year of her life. St. Frideswyde's was a conventual Church, with a Priory attached, and both were burnt down in 1002, but rebuilt by Ethelred. How much of his handiwork survives in the present structure it is not easy to de-termine; but the Norman builders of the twelfth century effected, at any rate, such a transformation that no suggestion of Saxon architecture is obtruded. Their work went on for some twenty years, under the supervision of the then Prior, Robert of Cricklade, and the Church was consecrated anew in 1180. The main features of the interior—the massive pillars and arches—are substantially the same to-day as the builders left them then. THIS BOOK, is not intended to compete with any existing guides to Oxford: it is not a guide-book in any formal or exhaustive sense. Its purpose is to shew forth the chief beauties of the University and City, as they have ap-peared to several artists; with such a running commentary as may explain the pictures, and may indicate whatever is most interesting in connection with the scenes which they represent. Slight as the notes are, there has been no sacrifice, it is believed, of accuracy. The principal facts have been derived from Alexander Chalmers' History of the Colleges, Halls, and Public Buildings of the University of Oxford, from Mr. Lang's Oxford, and from the Oxford and its Colleges of Mr. J. Wells. The illustrations, with the exception of six only, which are derived from Ackermann's Oxford, are reproduced from the paintings of living artists, mostly by Mr. W. Matthison, the others by Mrs. C. R. Walton, Walter S. S. Tyrwhitt, Mr. Bayzant, and Miss E. S. Cheesewright.

ESCAPECOME, shall we go, my comrade, from this denWhere falsehood reigns and we have dallied long?Exchange the curious vanities of menFor roads of freedom and for ships of song? We came as strangers, came to learn and look,To hear their music, drink the wine they gave.Now let us hence again; the happy brookShall quench our thirst, our music be the wave. Come! they are feasting, let us steal away.Beyond the doors the night awaits us, sweet.To-morrow we shall see the break of day,And goat-herds’ pipes shall lead our roaming feet. TO EVE IN TEARSYOU laughed, and all the fountains of the EastLeapt up to Heaven with their diamond rainTo hang in light, and when your laughter ceasedDropped shivered arrows to the ground again. You laughed, and from the belfries of the earthThe music rippled like a shaken pool;And listless banners at the breeze of mirthWere stirred in harbours suddenly made cool. You wept, and all the music of the air—As when a hand is laid upon a bell—Was stilled, and Dryads of the tossing hairCrept back abashed within the secret dell. MARIANA IN THE NORTHALL her youth is gone, her beautiful youth outworn,Daughter of tarn and tor, the moors that were once her homeNo longer know her step on the upland tracks forlornWhere she was wont to roam. All her hounds are dead, her beautiful hounds are dead,That paced beside the hoofs of her high and nimble horse,Or streaked in lean pursuit of the tawny hare that fledOut of the yellow gorse. All her lovers have passed, her beautiful lovers have passed,The young and eager men that fought for her arrogant hand,And the only voice which endures to mourn for her at the lastIs the voice of the lonely land. SORROW OF DEPARTURE. For D.HE sat among the shadows lost,And heard the careless voice speak onOf life when he was gone from home,Of days that he had made his own,Familiar schemes that he had known,And dates that he had cherished mostAs star-points in the year to come,And he was suddenly alone,Thinking (not bitterly,But with a grave regret) that heWas in that room a ghost. He sat among the shades apart,The careless voice he scarcely heard.In that arrested hour there stirredShy birds of beauty in his heart. The clouds of March he would not seeAcross the sky race royally,Nor yet the drift of daffodilHe planted with so glad a hand,Nor yet the loveliness he plannedFor summer’s sequence to fulfil,Nor trace upon the hillThe annual waking of the land,Nor meditative standTo watch the turning of the mill. He would not pause above the WealdWith twilight falling dim,And mark the chequer-board of field,The water gleaming like a shield,The oast-house in the elms concealed,Nor see, from heaven’s chalice-rim,The vintaged sunset brim,Nor yet the high, suspended starHanging eternally afar. These things would be, but not for him. At summer noon he would not lieOne with his cutter’s rise and dip,Free with the wind and sea and sky,And watch the dappled waves go by,The sea-gulls scream and slip;White sails, white birds, white clouds, white foam,White cliffs that curled the love of homeAround him like a whip....He would not see that summer noonFade into dusk from light,While he on shifting waters brightSailed idly on, beneath the moonClimbing the dome of night. This was his dream of happy thingsThat he had loved through many springs, And never more might know.But man must pass the shrouded gateCompanioned by his secret fate,And he must lonely go,And none can help or understand,For other men may touch his hand,But none the soul below.

The period included in the reigns of Nero, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, and Vespasian, was remarkable for two memorable events in the annals of ecclesiastical history; the first persecution of the Christian Church by the sixth Roman sovereign, and the dissolution of the Jewish polity by Titus. The destruction of Jerusalem was stupendous, not only as an act of divine wrath, but as being the proximate cause of the dispersion of a whole nation, upon which a long series of sorrow, spoliation, and oppression lighted, in consequence of the curse the Jews had invoked, when in reply to the remonstrances of Pilate they had cried out, “His blood be upon us and our children.” The church below, represented in Scripture as a type of the heavenly Jerusalem above, and having its seat then in the doomed city, was not to continue there, lest the native Jews composing it should gather round them a people of their own nation, in a place destined to remain desolate till the time when the dispersed of Israel should be converted, and rebuild their city and temple. The city bearing the ancient name of Jerusalem does not indeed occupy the same site, being built round the sacred spot where the garden once stood, in which a mortal sepulchre received the lifeless form of the Saviour of the world. But happier times seem dawning on the dispersed of Judea. Our own days have seen the foundations of a Jewish Christian church laid in Jerusalem; our Queen Victoria and the King of Prussia united to commence a work of love, thereby fulfilling in part the promise made to the Jews of old, “And kings shall be thy nursing fathers, and queens thy nursing mothers.” To those readers who feel interested in the dispersed of Israel and Judea, these pages may afford, perhaps, information on an important subject as well as amusement.